EATING CUSTOMS IN INDONESIA

Men, women and children usually eat together when there are no guests. When guests are present the men often eat together in the living room, while the women and children act as servants. Muslim Indonesians have traditionally used their left "dirty" hand to take care of wiping their dirty body parts and other "unclean" bodily functions. As a result, Muslim Indonesians never eat or touch someone with their left hand. There are many street vendors selling food, but people who purchase food should always sit to eat because it is considered inappropriate to eat while standing or walking on the street. [Source: “The Traveler's Guide to Asian Customs & Manners” by Elizabeth Devine and Nancy L. Braganti]

Food is eaten—usually quite rapidly and without speaking—with the fingertips or with a spoon and fork. Water is generally drunk only after the meal, when men (rarely women) smoke their distinctive clove-scented kretek cigarettes. It is impolite to eat or drink until invited to do so by the host. Finishing a drink implies the desire for the glass to be refilled.

According to kwintessential.co.uk: Dining etiquette is generally relaxed but depends on the setting and context. The more formal the occasion the more formal the behaviour. Below are some basic dining etiquette tips. 1) Wait to be shown to your place - as a guest you will have a specific position. 2) Food is often taken from a shared dish in the middle. You will be served the food and it would not be considered rude if you helped yourself after that. 3) If food is served buffet style then the guest is generally asked to help themselves first. It is considered polite that the guest insist others go before him/her but this would never happen. 4) In formal situations, men are served before women. 5) Wait to be invited to eat before you start. 6) A fork and spoon are often the only utensils at the place setting. Depending on the situation some people may use their hands. 7) Eat or pass food with your right hand only. [Source: kwintessential.co.uk]

8) People often sit on the floor when they eat and wash their hands from a bowl before sitting to eat. 9) Indonesians talk less at mealtime than Westerners. Meals are considered to a time to savor over one's food. Among some Indonesians talking is impolite while eating dinner. Conversation is reserved for before or after the meal. 10) Don't touch the serving spoon to your plate and pass dishes by holding them with your left hand and supporting them with your right hand palm down.

11) Always rise when your host/hostess enters the room. 12) Wait for a signal from your host to begin eating or drinking. 13) Show that you are finished eating by crossing your fork and your spoon on your plate. 14) Don't blow your nose, clear your throat loudly. 15 Guests are expected to try everything and leave nothing on their plate. In some situations they ar expected to ask for multiple servings. Refusing food or leaving food on your plate is considered bad manners.

Eating with a Fork and Spoon in Indonesia

Meals are usually served with forks and large spoons. Indonesians usually hold their spoon in their right and hand and fork in their left hand and push food with the fork onto the spoon and eat with their right hand using the spoon. Both hands are kept above the table while eating. Knives are usually not served because the food is cut into bite size pieces and cutting isn't necessary. People are served plates and use serving spoons to dish themselves food from serving bowls at the middle of the table.

According to expat.or.id: “These days Indonesian food is generally eaten with a spoon and fork, the spoon in the right hand and fork in the left (or vice versa for lefthanders). The fork holds food steady while breaking off portions with the spoon, and is used to assist in loading up the spoon by pushing food into it. Most food is cut up into relatively small pieces before it is cooked, although chicken and duck are usually served on the bone, and fish is often served whole. When you are finished eating, you turn your spoon and fork over and lay them crossed in your plate. This signals the hostess that you are full and doesn’t lead to an urging to take more food! [Source: expat.or.id ]

Eating with One’s Hands in Indonesia

More traditional Indonesian families eat with their hands. Food and sauces are spooned on to the rice, and mixed together, kneaded into a ball and popped into the mouth with the fingers. Bones have to be extracted from fish and meat with one hand. A small bowl of water is often set on the table for the person eating to clean his hand with while eating.

According to Bahasa Indonesia Lima: Food tastes better when you eat with your hands! Indonesians call this the “eleven finger-fork” To eat Indonesian style, pinch your thumb and fingers together around the food, making it into a ball and eat! This is usually done with rice. Perhaps avoid this technique if you are left-handed, though, and ask for a spoon and fork! [Source: Bahasa Indonesia Lima, Our Indonesian Language Hub: 5 Schools Bekerja-sama indo5.net

Eating food with one’s hands is particularly common in Sumatra and some parts of Java. There, some restaurants don't have any utensils at all to give their patrons. Instead each table comes with a water pitcher that is used to clean the hands after the meal. Most meals come with pancake-like bread that is used to scoop up the food which is usually something that resembles stew.

According to expat.or.id: “Sometimes Indonesian food is served and eaten not at a table, but on woven mats covering a low platform or the ground. This style of eating is called lesehan and is common in Yogyakarta and Central Java as well as West Java. Traditionally food is eaten with the fingers of the right hand, and many Indonesians insist that certain dishes taste much better this way. Finger bowls, often with a slice of lime floating in the water to cut the grease on your fingers, are usually provided for cleansing your fingers after such meals. Note that only the right hand is used to eat the food, never the left. [Source: expat.or.id ]

Indonesian Eating Habits

According to expat.or.id: “Indonesians love to eat, not only meals, which they may consume at any hour of the day whenever they feel hungry, but also snacks of many kinds. Eating is also a social activity and meals are often shared with others who happen to drop in. The meals lend themselves to easily extending the amount of food available by the addition of another hastily prepared dish such as dadar telor (omelet). It is considered impolite not to provide some sort of drinks and snacks to a guest, whether invited or unexpected. [Source: expat.or.id ***]

Indonesian food is usually cooked in advance and served at room temperature, although there are some dishes that should be consumed hot and fresh from the stove or barbecue. Indonesian food has been greatly influenced by other cuisines, including Chinese, Indian and Dutch, but has been adapted and modified to suit the local palate.

When people eat together, dishes are commonly placed in the center of a table or on a floor mat for shared access. The rijstafel, a dining style introduced during the Dutch colonial period, features rice served with a wide range of meats and vegetables, creating contrasts in flavor and texture. Spicy foods are often balanced with crunchy elements like peanuts or krupuk (crispy crackers), or with sweeter components such as palm sugar, creamy sauces, or kecap manis (sweet soy sauce). [Source: Junior Worldmark Encyclopedia of Foods and Recipes of the World, Gale Group, Inc., 2002]

Across towns and villages, warung—small, family-run food stalls—serve as both convenient eateries and social gathering places. Children often stop by for snacks like large krupuk on their way to school, while adults might enjoy simple meals or drinks such as banana-milk beverages or nasi campur, a dish of rice topped with meat, vegetables, and egg. Schoolchildren typically eat meals provided by their schools, which may include staples like sweet potatoes, rice, corn, fruits, vegetables, and chocolate milk made from powdered imports. In the late 1990s, programs promoting chocolate milk consumption were even linked to increased school attendance among lower-income students.

Meals in Indonesia

Mealtimes in Indonesia are often informal and flexible, with many people preferring to snack on small portions throughout the day rather than sit down for three large, structured meals. Early each morning, women typically gather ingredients, either by picking fresh produce from home gardens or buying supplies at local markets. Once food is prepared, it is often left at room temperature on the kitchen table, allowing family members to eat whenever they feel hungry. [Source: Junior Worldmark Encyclopedia of Foods and Recipes of the World, Gale Group, Inc., 2002]

When more defined meals are observed, makan pagi (breakfast) usually consists of fried rice, noodles, or soto (soup), accompanied by coffee—especially the well-known Javanese variety—or tea. Makan siang (lunch) is often the main meal of the day, followed by makan malam (dinner) in the evening after work. Rice (nasi) forms the foundation of most meals.

A normal Indonesian-style family meal consists of white rice served with three or four accompanying dishes. When guests are present, and on special occasions, the number of dishes served is much greater and in more abundant quantities. In keeping with Indonesian hospitality, a wide variety and choice of dishes should be provided to honor a guest. Whatever is not eaten is never wasted. Guests may be encouraged to take home some of the leftover food and plastic bags or containers are always on hand for this purpose. The remainder goes back to the kitchen, to be eaten by domestic staff or to be reheated and served again the next day. Indonesians are honored if foreigners like their food and are adventurous to try new dishes. [Source: expat.or.id ***]

Generally all of the dishes are placed on the table together and guests are asked to help themselves. This “family style” serving practice is the origin of the Dutch expression rijstafel. Unlike a formal Western style dinner, courses are not served separately. It is becoming more common for Indonesians to serve a soup that may be eaten before the main meal, but traditionally Indonesian soups are served and eaten together with the rice and other dishes, though some prefer to take their soup after eating their rice. You can sample the dishes one at a time if you like, but it is more common to take some of each dish together on your plate, placing them around your mound of rice. It is a complement to the hostess if you take second or third helpings. You do not need to empty your plate before you add another helping of a dish you particularly like. ***

Slametan

Slametan (or selamatan) is a traditional Javanese communal feast and prayer ritual that symbolizes social harmony, gratitude, and spiritual protection. It brings neighbors together to pray and share a meal in recognition of important life events—such as births, marriages, circumcisions, illnesses, start of a new businesses, or deaths—and reflects a blending of local customs with Islamic practices. [Source: Jill Forshee, “Culture and Customs of Indonesia”, Greenwood Press, 2006; Wikipedia]

At its core, the slametan represents a form of communal gathering found across many cultures: a ritual meal that affirms both spiritual and social unity. Participants—including friends, neighbors, coworkers, and relatives—symbolically join not only with one another but also with local spirits, ancestors, and lingering spiritual forces, forming a collective bound by mutual obligation and cooperation. Although the ceremony appears Islamic, with prayers and Quranic recitations, it also reflects older, pre-Islamic traditions rooted in animistic beliefs. These traditions hold that unseen forces inhabit the natural and built environment—whether in animals, rivers, stones, or particular places associated with past events such as drownings or accidents. Such forces may be perceived as protective or harmful, depending on circumstances.

A central purpose of the slametan is to seek slamet, meaning safety, well-being, and peace of mind. The ritual is believed to help prevent misfortune and maintain balance in both personal and community life. The meal typically features tumpeng—a cone-shaped mound of yellow rice—accompanied by a variety of symbolic side dishes, each carrying cultural meaning. The ceremony includes ritual elements such as prayers and, in many cases, the recitation of Qur’anic verses (tahlil), usually led by a local religious figure. After the gathering, guests are often given food packages (berkat) to take home, extending the blessings of the event beyond those present. Slametan is held on a wide range of occasions, including life-cycle events like pregnancy, moving into a new home or beginning a new job and at commemorations following a death—often observed at intervals such as 7 days, 40 days, 100 days, and one year.

Image Sources: Wikimedia Commons

Text Sources: “Encyclopedia of World Cultures Volume 5: East/Southeast Asia:” edited by Paul Hockings, 1993; “Culture and Customs of Indonesia” by Jill Forshee, Greenwood Press, 2006; National Geographic, New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Smithsonian magazine, Encyclopedia.com, Library of Congress, Indonesia Tourism website (indonesia.travel), Indonesia government websites, Live Science, The Conversation, The New Yorker, Time, BBC, CNN, Reuters, Associated Press, AFP, Lonely Planet Guides, Google AI, Wikipedia, The Guardian and various websites, books and other publications.

Last updated April 2026