CUSTOMS IN BHUTAN
Bhutanese have a distinct culture and strong religious belief and unique customs and beliefs about etiquette and behavior that go along with them. Bhutanese are very courteous and have rules governing their relationships. For example, polite language is widely used. Bhutanese use it when they are addressing seniors, people with higher social status or people of the same age and same status.
In your dealings with Bhutanese try make sure no one loses face, looks bad or is wronged or forced to back down in front of others. Negotiations, persistent and patience often achieve more than anger and confrontation. Bhutanese pray and smile a lot. Do not take photos of people without their permission. Some Bhutanese still believe that photos can steal their soul and taking pictures of people without their permission is viewed as intrusive. For smooth transmigration in the afterlife Tibetan people believe that no trace left of earthliness should be left behind. One reason why Tibetan people don't like their picture taken is that a photo could remain behind after they die.
Living in Bhutanese society generally means understanding some accepted norms such as Driglam Namzha, the traditional code of etiquette. Driglam Namzha teaches people a code of conduct to adhere to as members of a respectful society. Examples of Driglam Namzha include wearing a traditional scarf (kabney) when visiting a Dzong or an office, letting the elders and the monks serve themselves first during meals, offering felicitation scarves during ceremonies such as marriages and promotions and politely greeting elders or seniors. [Source: Tourism Council of Bhutan, tourism.gov.bt]
According to “Countries and Their Cultures“: “"Driglam namzha" “conduct supports respect for authority, devotion to the institution of marriage and family, and dedication to civic duty. It governs many different sorts of behavior, including how to send and receive gifts, how to speak to those in authority, how to serve and eat food at public occasions, and how to dress. A royal decree issued in 1989 promoted the driglam namzha as a means of preserving a distinct national identity and instituted a national dress code. [Source: “Countries and Their Cultures”, Gale Group Inc., 2001]
See Separate Article TIBETAN CHARACTER, SOCIETY AND CUSTOMS factsanddetails.com
Driglam Namzha
The Bhutanese code of etiquette is known as driglam namzha. Passang Lhamo wrote in the Daily Bhutan: “ Driglam means the way of maintaining order, while namzha refers to a concept or system. Therefore, driglam namzha is a system of orderly and cultured behavior, and by extension, the standards and rules that constitute it. It also regulates a number of cultural assets such as art, the way we speak and also our internal mind too. Driglam can be categorised into three disciplines: Physical, verbal, and mental/ inner mind. [Source: Passang Lhamo, Daily Bhutan, April 2, 2019]
“The physical discipline includes the way people behave and wear clothes. The way the Bhutanese eat, behave and walk is also part of this discipline, known as zhacha dro sum. External behaviors should reflect wholesome values such as humility, self-control, calm and compassion while also displaying sensitivity and respect towards others.
“Driglam namzha” serves “as a courteous mode of individual development. With more exposure to the outside world, Bhutanese people take pride in driglam namzha as a unique identity of Bhutan and promote it not only as a righteous code of conduct, but also as a marker of Bhutanese identity. Driglam namzha was discussed many times in the Parliament and resolutions were passed on its preservation and promotion, mainly to counteract the invasion of Western culture. In a nutshell, driglam namzha deals with eschewing crude and bad physical, verbal and mental behaviours and adopting civil and courteous conducts of the body, speech, and mind.
“The elders and the leaders of the nation must follow the code of etiquette because they set the example for the rest of the people to follow. It is a courteous mode of individual development, as well as a civilised mechanism for the harmonious functioning of a society. Its intrinsic value lies in it being an expression of civility, tact, propriety, decorum, and elegance, and it is by seeing this value that driglam namzha can be sustained and celebrated as a unique Bhutanese heritage.
History of Driglam Namzha
Some have called “driglam namba” an ancient code. Whether that is true and what defines “ancient” is a matter of debate. King Jigme Singye Wangchuk (reigned 1972- 2006) took many measures to preserve Bhutan’s traditional culture. In the late 1980s and early 1990s, he issued a series of edicts designed to “preserve native culture” and made “driglam namba” part of the school curriculum. The Bhutanese National Assembly passed a law that called for the restoration of driglam namzha and stated that buildings had to be built to conform to traditional architecture and satellite dishes were not allowed.
Under the 1989 promulgation of Driglam Nam Zha (Etiquette and Manners) people were required to wear traditional Bhutanese clothes such as the gho in public. Western clothes were banned. Those who didn’t wear traditional clothes had to pay stiff fines and faced jail terms. Some of these laws are still place today to some degree. The edicts designed to “preserve native culture” focused on Buddhism and Bhutanese culture.
This "Bhutanisation drive" alienated the country’s largely Hindu Nepali population. Nepalese within Bhutan formed political groups and tried pressure the government to make social reforms. The government responded with force, and violence broke out. Large numbers of people of Nepali origin were expelled from Bhutan. The majority of them, estimated to be between 100,000 and 135,000 in number, ended up in refugee camps in eastern Nepal. [Sources: “Gale Encyclopedia of World History: Governments” Thomson Gale, 2008; “Worldmark Encyclopedia of Cultures and Daily Life”, Cengage Learning, 2009]
Customs and Behavior Based on Driglam Namzha
Passang Lhamo wrote in the Daily Bhutan: “ According to driglam namzha, we need to have a good mindset, a mind who thinks good about the welfare of all sentient beings. The inner mind, driglam, means the way Bhutanese people think: their love for the country, King and people, and the respect for the nation’s rules and regulations. Respect for our national dress is paramount, because it is a unique identity of our country and the same should be applied to the national language Dzongkha. There must also be the willingness to serve Tsa-Wa-Sum (King, country, and people) as much as we can and to have the determination to make everyone happy. Having a good mindset helps to maintain good relationships with everyone, as well as being loyal to friends, spouses, parents and oneself. [Source: Passang Lhamo, Daily Bhutan, April 2, 2019]
1) Way of walking: “Walking without conscious, running while walking, making a loud noise with our footsteps, taking big footsteps, holding your hand on your hips and dashing with others, holding hand with friends and walking, and keeping your hand at your back while walking are all considered as ill-mannered. One should walk without making noises, and while walking with high officials, we should walk on the left behind them. While walking with high officials, we should walk on their left and behind them. :
2) Way of sitting: “While sitting in front of superiors, we should maintain our posture. We should not cross our legs or lean against the wall. This kind of behaviour is considered as ill mannered. If we are sitting on the ground, we should sit with our legs crossed on the floor with our hands folded in front. Kneeling down is also considered bad behaviour. We should not cross our legs in front of superiors.
3) Way of looking: “We should look at people with love and care. We look at people with different kinds of expressions. For example, looking with care, compassion and love, or looking with an angry face. When we are meeting people for the first time, we should not look at them with anger. Instead, we should look at them with love and care. We should not stare directly into the eyes of the high officials, and we should be lowering our gaze, towards their feet.
4) Verbal discipline - how we talk: “According to conduct defined by driglam namzha, we should maintain decorum while talking, and talk according to time and space with a conscious mind and introspection. We are also required to talk clearly so that others can understand what we mean. A) The way we talk with elders: We should talk with respect to lama's, high officials, parents, and elders. B) The way we talk with people of the same age: We need to talk with our friends or people of the same age as us with love and affection. C) The way we talk with the younger ones: We need to talk to younger ones with compassion, cherish them and guide them by giving good advice. D) Telling lies, harsh words, spreading rumours, scandalising, backbiting, accusation and defaming, and murmuring are considered a bad way of talking and have to be avoided at all times. We need to welcome a guest, whether it is a high official or a common man, with a smile and treat them with respect.
Greetings in Bhutan
Normally, greetings are limited to saying “Kuzuzangpo” (hello) amongst equals. For seniors and elders, the Bhutanese bow their head a bit and say “kuzuzangpo la” (a more respectful greeting). Recently, shaking hands has become an accepted norm. [Source: Tourism Council of Bhutan, tourism.gov.bt]
Bhutanese often greet each other by bowing slightly. A host invites a guest into his or her house by extending his or her hands towards the ground with palms facing the visitor, and moving the hands in a come here gesture The host may also say, "Yala! Yala! Kuzu zangpola?" (“Hello! How do you do?). [Source: “Worldmark Encyclopedia of Cultures and Daily Life”, Cengage Learning, 2009 *]
Way of bowing: Passang Lhamo wrote in the Daily Bhutan: “We bow to the King and high officials as a means of respect for them. We should bend our back and head lower while bowing to the King. We should not bow to higher officials in front of our King. The way we bow to the King and high officials is different. While bowing to the King or high officials without a kabney or rachu, we should cover our mouth and bow. [Source: Passang Lhamo, Daily Bhutan, April 2, 2019]
When greeting each other, Bhutan often exchange a lot of pleasantries. While everybody is being greeted in a group, the listener is expected to listen carefully without any impatience. Khatas (also called khatags and hadas) are white scarves that are presented to holy images or important people and as a greeting gesture and sign of respect. Tibetans — and often Bhutanese too — greet one another by exchanging khatas. Scarfs are also given as good will or welcoming gesture to potential friends or guests. If you receive a scarf hold the scarf out with both hands, palms turned face up. You are expected to keep wearing the scarf until after you leave. More on Khatas, See Below
Buddhist Customs
Always walk clockwise around Buddhist monuments, keeping the religious landmarks to your right. The Buddhist practice of circling stupas and religion sites is believed to have been derived from cults that circled solar temples. Don't walk in front of praying people. Don't take photos during prayers or meditation sessions. Don't use a flash. As a rule don't take photos unless you are sure it is okay. Taking photographs of Buddhist statues or images is considered to be sacrilegious.
People should have their arms and legs covered and remove their hats when they enter a temple. Wearing improper attire — such as men with no shirts or women in short skirts — in a religious shrine is also considered disrespectful. There are rules that people who have ingested alcohol or garlic are not allowed in temples because such things are said to disturb the human mind.
Buddha images are sacred objects and one should not pose in front of them or point their feet at them. When sitting down many local people employ the “mermaid pose” to keep both feet pointed towards the rear. Photographing Buddha images is considered disrespectful, but again, is tolerated from foreign tourists.
In Bhutan people must are expected to make a detour from left to right when passing religious facilities such as temples, piles of Mani stones, and pagodas. And people are not allowed to cross Buddhist ceremonial implements and braziers, and are also not allowed to turn prayer wheels in the wrong direction.
Buddhist Monastery and Temple Customs
When you pay a visit to a monastery or temple, remove your hat and maybe your shoes (See what others are doing). Do not talk loudly or engage in irreverent conversation. Do not photograph anything inside without permission (photography outside is okay). Don't touch the murals, butter sculpture, or other things you see displayed. Do not sit with the soles of your feet facing the altar or any other sacred object or person. It would be a nice gesture to add some money to the little piles of cash you see around, but it's not required.
If you have purchased butter or oil as an offering, spoon it into the lamps yourself. You may follow the lead of other pilgrims in bowing to various shrines, but if your heart isn't in it then it's quite acceptable not to. In general, it's okay to wander around the building, and you can go to the roof or enter any room that's not locked — however you should stringently avoid entering chambers on the roof of the monastery where monks may be in retreat. Don't worry a lot about committing faux pas in a monastery, because if you're about to do something wrong, and there's someone around, then they will stop you. Bhutan are generally good natured and will not take offense.
Praying is done by bowing with hands clasped to one’s forehead from a standing or seated position in front of an image of Buddha or other religious objects and images . Prayers are often made after tossing a coin or banknote into an offering box and leaving an offering of yak butter, holy water or something else. Many people visit different altars, leaving some burning incense and praying at each one. Others bow at the altar and sprinkle water, a symbol of life. In big temples money can be left in a donation boxes near the entrance. If there is no donation box. You can leave the money on the floor.
Social and Visiting Customs in Bhutan
The openness of Bhutanese society is exemplified in the way our people often visit their friends and relatives at any hour of the day without any advance notice or appointment and still receive a warm welcome and hospitality. [Source: Tourism Council of Bhutan, tourism.gov.bt]
Men and women mix and converse freely, without the restrictions that separate the sexes in some parts of South Asia. Bhutanese greet their guests by bowing slightly. The host and hostess extends their her hands towards the ground with palms facing the visitor, and moving the hand in a gesture to come in. house. Guests are seated in the equivalent of living room where they are generally served tea, beer, or some other drink. [Source: “Worldmark Encyclopedia of Cultures and Daily Life”, Cengage Learning, 2009]
People have traditionally sat cross-legged on the floor around a wood-burning stove. When acting as hosts, Bhutanese generally allow guests to go first, whether it be walking or talking. People are expected to sit cross-legged as it is very rude to let the sole of your shoes or feet point towards other people. Don't pour drinks for yourself. The lady of the house or one of the family's children generally pours drinks for guests.
If you have a chance to visit a local family, let the oldest people go first when you walk together with them. Do not touch the heads of children with your hands. If the family invites you to have dinner with Tibetans, when the host hands you something, for example, a cup of wine hold it with both hands to show your respect. Do not drink wine fast, otherwise the host will give you more wine until you are drunk.
People should offer tea and alcoholwith both hands and their fingers should not be put into cups or bowls. People should bow and bend their knees with smiles on their faces when welcoming visitors and seeing visitors off. People should pick up a gift with both hands and give a gift by bending their bodies with hands over heads. When drinking butter tea, guests should not take cups by themselves until the host holds the tea in front of them.
Eating Customs in Bhutan
In Bhutan, food is eaten with the hands. In a traditional Bhutanese home, family members eat while sitting cross legged on the wooden floor, often around a fire, with food first being served to the head of the household first. It is usually women who serve the food and in most cases, the mother. Before eating, a short prayer is offered and a small morsel is placed on the floor as an offering to the local spirits and deities. A family often makes a pot of red rice large enough for many people in case people come by unannounced. With modernization, eating habits have changed and in urban areas, people usually eat with spoons, forks and knives while seated at a regular dining table. [Source: Tourism Council of Bhutan, tourism.gov.bt]
When eating with their hands, Bhutanese generally place food in a bowl or plate of rice and eat with their fingers. They and other Tibetan people are expected to eat and drink quietly and not eat too much in one bite. When eating tsampa — a staple food of Tibetan people made from parched barley — place some flour with salted butter tea in a bowl, rotate the bowl with the left hand and mix the food with your fingers of your right hand. Then roll it into small lumps and squeeze it into your mouth with your fingers.
According to rules of driglam namzha described by Passang Lhamo in the Daily Bhutan: “Eating behaviour includes maintaining decorum while having a meal, be it with high officials or with family. Before eating we should pray to god. While eating, the sound of chewing the food shouldn't be made. We should always take the right amount of food to satisfy our hunger thus not wasting any. We should also not be making facial expressions of good or bad tastes while eating. Under driglam namzha, we should not start eating before high officials and eldest in the family eat. And also, one should not sit with crossed legs if one is seated on a chair.” [Source: Passang Lhamo, Daily Bhutan, April 2, 2019]
If you are invited into a home, remember that it is considered rude to ask for tea or food directly. You must wait to be offered food. Additionally, it is considered rude to request seconds. If there is additional food, you are offered food. Use only the fingers of your RIGHT hand when touching food. [Source: Catherine Go, tibetravel.org]
In Bhutan, eating the meat of donkeys, horses and dogs is an absolute taboo. Some regions also do not eat fish. Otherwise, many Tibetans eat a lot of meat, particularly yak meat. This a bit surprising in that Buddhism discourages the killing of animals and Buddhists are encouraged to be vegetarians. One reason for this is that in some areas there is not much land that is good for agriculture. Grazing land for animals such as yaks and sheep is more plentiful.
Taboos and Don'ts in Tibet
The following are true for Tibetans and may also be true for Bhutanese. 1) Don't touch somebody’s head or shoulders. 2) Don't step across or tread on another person’s clothes. 3) Never step over another person. 4) Don't step across or tread on the tableware. 5) Don't spit or clap your palms behind someone. 6) Don't kill any animals or insects in monasteries. 7) Don't drive away or hurt ravens, crows, vultures or eagles, for they are holy birds to Bhutanese and Tibetans. [Source: Chloe Xin, Tibetravel.org tibettravel.org]
8) Women clothes, especially, women pants and underpants are not supposed to be aired to dry in a place where people pass. 9) Don't whistle or shout or cry inside a house. 10) One is not supposed to sweep the floor or throw out the trash after some family member goes away from home, or guests have just left, or at noon or after the sunset, or on the first day of Tibetan New Year. 11) Non-relatives can not mention the name of the dead face to face with the relatives of the dead. 12) Tasks, such as knitting a sweater or making a carpet, should be finished before the end of the year.
13) One should not go to the house of others at twilight, especially when there are women who's going to give birth to a baby or have just given birth to a baby, or heavily ill people in that house. This especially applies to strangers. 14) Objects are not allowed to be taken outside a home after noon. 15) Two family members are not supposed to go out at the same time if they are headin opposite directions. They should go outside at different times. 16) Tibetan women can not comb or wash their hair in the evening, neither can they go outside with their hair not being tied up.
17) Don't walk over ritual objects, braziers or an appliance, utensil or bowl that is used for eating. 18) When you are using a broom and dustpan, you can transfer them from one hand to another. But you must put them on the ground at first, and someone will pick them up from the ground and hand them to you.
Khatas: Tibetan Scarves
Khatas (also called khatas and hadas) are white scarves that are presented to holy images or important people and as a greeting gesture and sign of respect. If you meet a lama you should present him with a khata. The scarfs can usually be purchased at the temples where the lama resides and placed around the lama's neck when he is greeted. Not presenting a scarf is considered very, very rude, even sinful. People also show respect by placing khatas around pictures of revered lamas and others they respect. In some formal situations, Tibetans greet one another by exchanging khatas. Scarfs are also given as good will or welcoming gesture to potential friends or guests. If you receive a scarf hold the scarf out with both hands, palms turned face up. You are expected to keep wearing the scarf until after you leave.
Khatas are often offered by Tibetan Buddhists to Buddhist images or statues, holy sites, lamas or are used in certain rituals. They represent the highest respect to the recipient. Khatas are usually made of raw silk and are loosely weaved. “Khata” means silk in Tibetan language. Top grade ones are often knitted with patterns signifying good luck and happiness such as lotus flowers, bottles, umbrellas and conches. [Source: Chloe Xin, Tibetravel.org tibettravel.org]
Khatas are usually white. Tibetan people revere the color white, believing it symbolizes purity, auspiciousness, sincerity, kindness, justice and prosperity. White khatas white symbolize the pure heart of the giver. They come in various lengths. Longer one can be 10 or 20 meters in length, while shorter ones are 1 or 1.5 meters. The material varies in quality, but generally that is not a concern as long as the khata can express good wishes.
Image Sources: Wikimedia Commons
Text Sources: New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Lonely Planet Guides, Library of Congress, Tourism Council of Bhutan (tourism.gov.bt), National Portal of Bhutan, the Bhutan government’s main site (gov.bt), The Guardian, National Geographic, Smithsonian magazine, The New Yorker, Time, Reuters, Associated Press, AFP, Wikipedia and various books, websites and other publications.
Last updated February 2022