FILIPINA WIVES, NON-FILIPINO MEN AND MAIL-ORDER BRIDES

FILIPINA MAIL-ORDER BRIDES

The Philippines is famous for mail-order brides. Poverty and the lack of employment in the Philippines have forced millions of Filipinos to find work abroad and some to seek marriage with foreigners, many with hopes of a better life and being able to help or support their families back home. Precise and up-to-date statistics on international marriage migration are difficult to obtain because of the informal nature of the industry and inconsistencies in data collection. Nevertheless, available research suggests that Filipina women have long constituted the largest group of women involved in global “mail-order bride” or marriage-migration arrangements. Migration for marriage from the Philippines has been highly feminized, with women accounting for the overwhelming majority of participants. Online platforms, dating websites, and social media have become major avenues through which Filipinas and foreign men meet. [Source: Google AI, Wikipedia]

Jonathan M. Hicap wrote in the Korea Times, In May 2009, “Hollywood actor Alec Baldwin found himself the target of criticism in the Philippines when he quipped on the Late Night Show with David Letterman about letting a Filipina mail order bride in order to expand his family and have more kids. His comments sparked outrage, with one Filipino senator threatening to beat him up if he sets foot in the country. Baldwin later apologized but the Philippine Bureau of Immigration still banned him from visiting the country. The issue of mail-order brides has been a contentious issue in the Philippines for years. Yearly, thousands of Filipino women who seek a better life are getting into brokered marriages arranged through matchmaking but many end up as victims of domestic violence and abuse. [Source: Jonathan M. Hicap, Korea Times, 2009]

General statistics illustrate the scale and patterns of this migration. Estimates suggest that about 91 percent of Filipinos who migrate for marriage are women. Earlier reports from the Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO) indicated that mail-order bride arrangements accounted for roughly 10 percent of marriages between Filipinos and foreign nationals during certain periods. The most common destination countries for Filipina marriage migrants have included the United States, Japan, Canada, the United Kingdom, South Korea, and Australia. Recent data also shows how couples meet. In the past decade, more than 57,000 Filipino marriage migrants met their spouses through social media, dating apps, or other online platforms, while more than 41,500 met through personal introductions or social networks. In the United States alone, an estimated 4,000 to 6,000 women each year—many of them Filipinas—have immigrated through international marriage services. Age profiles from earlier studies of marriage catalogs suggested that most women involved were between 21 and 30 years old.

The Philippines formally outlawed mail-order bride practices with Republic Act 6955, the Anti-Mail-Order-Bride Law. The law prohibits advertising or organizing marriages between Filipino women and foreign men for profit. However, enforcement has been uneven, and the practice has continued in modified forms, especially through online matchmaking sites and informal networks.

Economic motivations have often played an important role in marriage migration. Many Filipina women have sought overseas marriages as a way to gain better economic opportunities, improve their living conditions, or support their families back home through remittances. At the same time, foreign men have sometimes been attracted by the perception that Filipina women are family-oriented or more traditional in their views on marriage.

Despite these common perceptions, research indicates that the experiences and motivations of Filipina marriage migrants vary widely. Some couples develop stable relationships and families, while others encounter significant cultural adjustment challenges or exploitation. Scholars also note that reliable global data remains limited, and many widely cited figures come from NGOs or media reports that may be incomplete or inconsistent, highlighting the continuing difficulty of measuring the full scope of this phenomenon.

Filipina Wives

Filipino Law and Mail-Order Brides

Many websites continue to advertise Filipina and other Asian women as potential brides, despite the Philippines passing Republic Act 6955, the Anti-Mail-Order-Bride Law of 1990. This law prohibited matching Filipino women with foreign men for marriage through mail-order schemes and banned related advertising and promotional materials. Nevertheless, illegal marriage brokers continued to operate underground, exploiting vulnerable Filipino women. [Source: Jonathan M. Hicap, Korea Times, 2009]

To address risks associated with marriages to foreigners, the Philippine government required Filipino women planning to marry foreign nationals to attend a guidance and counseling program run by the Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO). This program was designed to help women make informed decisions and prepare for cross-cultural marriages. Completion of the counseling was required before a passport could be issued, and participants received a certificate and registration sticker before leaving the country.

The counseling program also helped authorities identify potential mail-order bride arrangements. During interviews, women were asked how they met their foreign partners, and inconsistencies sometimes revealed the involvement of matchmakers or paid intermediaries. Women suspected of being part of such schemes received more extensive counseling to inform them about the risks, possible coercion, and the legal restrictions. In some cases, the government also coordinated with Philippine embassies abroad to monitor the welfare of Filipinas who had married foreign nationals.

Filipinas Make Great Wives

Joe Smith wrote in the blog returnofkings.com: “Filipinas make great wives, which I can speak from personal experience. Here are a few things to consider if you want to look for love in the Philippines. 1) Filipinas are not “mail-order brides.” This term (often used by those bitter about Westerners seeking foreign wives) is neither fair nor accurate. It’s true that in past decades men would buy mailing addresses of women in catalogues. But even then they weren’t “ordering” a wife. They were simply getting contact information and it was up to the woman to respond or ignore letters from long distance admirers. Now the term is completely antiquated. I first met my wife online and we met in person some time later. Most of the guys I’ve met with Filipina wives have very similar stories—none of them “bought” their wives. [Source: Joe Smith, returnofkings.com]

2) Filipinas are very open to dating and marrying older men. I’m significantly older than my wife. Some of my friends who found love in the Philippines married women 20 or more years their junior. Not all Filipinas marry older men, of course, but they are much more open to it than Western women. Let’s pretend a Western bachelor in his late 30’s or 40’s is thinking about settling down and getting married. His options in his home country may be limited to women who past their prime in terms of beauty and fertility even if he is successful and reasonably attractive. He won’t meet many women in their 20’s who are interested in romance with him unless he is rich and famous. His options are much, much different in the Philippines. This same bachelor would probably have 19-year-old women telling him he is “guwapo” (handsome). Filipinas are especially attracted to Caucasian features, so this average-looking guy would find he has suddenly been promoted to rock-star status as far as his dating options go.

3) Filipinas consider the practical implications of marriage. Some may argue Asian women are only attracted to Western dollars, not men. There are gold-diggers everywhere, but I think this is an unfair assessment of Filipinas. Money does play a role, but it does so in virtually every woman’s decision of whom to marry. I think Asian women in general understand the practical implications of marriage that the Western world largely ignores. An older man can offer stability and maturity while a younger woman will usually be more beautiful and fertile. A Western man may be able to offer a level of financial stability that an Asian woman could not find with a man in her own country.

4) Filipinas are slim, petite, and attractive. Someone recently posted an article here about obesity among American women and reached this conclusion: “The rise in the desirability of Asian women is due to their lower rates of obesity.” I can’t really argue with this author’s assertion. The obesity rates in the Asian countries I’ve been in are nowhere near the 50 percent you’d see in America. Most guys who visit the Philippines are simply blown away by the beauty of the women. Their dark hair, dark eyes, naturally tanned skin and slender figures are a welcome change of pace for many.

5) Filipinas tend to be conservative in terms of sexual values. This is not to say that all women in the Philippines are virgins until they marry (though it is not unheard of), but most Filipinas tend to express their sexuality only within some kind of committed relationship. They are, generally speaking, not promiscuous and very faithful within relationships. 6) Filipinas value family and motherhood. Feminism and secularism has convinced Western women that the 20-something years are best spent climbing the corporate ladder and riding the sexual carousel. Women in the Philippines, by contrast, place a high value on becoming wives and mothers. Filipinas can and do work outside the home, but she’ll always consider her family the first priority. 7) Filipinas are proficient in English. A typical woman in the Philippines speaks at least two or three languages: Tagalog/Filipino (the national language), English (taught starting in the elementary school years), and one or more local languages. I’ve had the opportunity to travel to other Asian countries and I found the people in the Philippines much easier to understand. This can be a big advantage if you are thinking about finding romance.

Filipina Brides in the U.S.

A significant number of American men have turned to the internet to find foreign brides, often focusing on women from the Philippines. For example, Brenn Holiday met his Filipina wife Bonna Joy online, and Richard Novac began searching for a foreign partner after becoming dissatisfied with dating in the United States. After years of research, he chose Filipina women because they commonly spoke English, shared Catholic values, and were perceived as more traditional. Online matchmaking sites such as Cherry Blossoms allowed men to browse thousands of profiles before arranging relationships that sometimes led to marriage. [Source: Mae Ryan, Off-Ramp, September 26, 2012]

These cross-cultural marriages produced a wide range of outcomes. According to social work professor Annalisa Enrile, Filipino cultural values such as utang na loob (a sense of debt of gratitude) often encouraged women to remain committed to their husbands and try to make the marriage succeed. However, organizations such as the Mariposa Center for Change reported assisting dozens of Filipina women each year who had come to the United States through dating websites and later experienced abuse or domestic violence. Many women stayed in difficult marriages because they lacked support networks in the United States or feared losing their immigration status.

Despite the challenges, some couples built stable families. Richard and Evangeline Novac, for example, married and raised children together, seeing the relationship as mutually beneficial. Filipino communities also formed among immigrant wives in places such as Southern California, where gatherings allowed them to share language and culture. Nevertheless, observers noted that cultural expectations—such as pakikisama (maintaining harmony in relationships)—sometimes discouraged women from leaving troubled marriages, while critics argued that online matchmaking sites could treat Filipina women as commodities rather than equal partners.

Californian Man Meets Filapina 33 Years Younger Than Him Online

In the mid-2000s, Orange County divorcee David Haldane began searching online for a partner after becoming frustrated with dating in the United States. He joined a website designed to connect Western men with Filipino women and gradually began chatting with several potential partners. Eventually he formed a connection with Ivy, a 23-year-old woman from the rural village of Caridad on Siargao Island in the southern Philippines. Their online conversations were unusually direct, focusing on long-term commitment, trust, and the possibility of marriage despite their 33-year age difference. [Source: David Haldane,Orange Coast magazine, April 11, 2012]

Curious about whether the relationship could work in real life, Haldane traveled to the Philippines to meet Ivy and her family. Reaching her remote village required a long journey involving international flights, a ferry ride, and a boat trip to the island. When he arrived, he encountered a tight-knit rural community where children moved freely among neighbors and families closely watched over their members. Ivy’s relatives and neighbors questioned him closely about his background and intentions, reflecting the community’s strong sense of responsibility for protecting one of its own.

During the visit, Ivy’s parents and extended family carefully evaluated Haldane before approving the relationship. In accordance with Filipino custom, Ivy sought her parents’ blessing before continuing the courtship. Haldane returned to the Philippines several times over the next two years, and during one trip he realized he had fallen in love while touring the island with Ivy. He eventually proposed to her on a pier known as Cloud 9.

In 2008 Ivy arrived in the United States, and the couple married soon afterward. Her early experiences in Southern California involved many adjustments, from learning to use modern household appliances to adapting to the quiet suburban environment. Coming from a lively village where neighbors and relatives were constantly present, she initially found the silence and relative isolation of American suburban life difficult.

To recreate a sense of community, the couple became involved in a network of similar mixed marriages in Southern California—mostly American men and younger Filipino wives who had met online. These couples frequently gathered for parties, celebrations, and mutual support, creating a substitute extended family similar to the communal life many of the women had experienced in the Philippines. Despite this support, they were aware that outsiders sometimes viewed their relationships skeptically or dismissed them as “mail-order bride” arrangements.

Over time, Haldane argued that such relationships were often misunderstood. While acknowledging that abuse or exploitation could occur in some cases, he believed many couples formed genuine partnerships based on affection and shared goals. The birth of their son in 2010 strengthened their family and gradually eased the doubts of some relatives and acquaintances. By the early 2010s, the couple saw themselves as part of a growing community of transnational families balancing Filipino traditions with life in the United States.

Filipino Wives in Japan and South Korea

Many single rural men in Japan have chosen wives from picture from catalogs of poor women in the Philippines, Thailand, Korea, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, China and even Brazil and Peru. The men usually travel to the home country of the women, who invariable can't speak Japanese,

Filipinos are the forth largest ethnic group in Japan after Koreans, Chinese and Brazilians (most of which Brazilian Japanese). Of the 105,308 Filipinos in Japan in 1999, 89,645 of them were women and half of themm were married to Japanese. At that time about 300 to 350 Filipinas entered Japan each month. Many initially worked as hostesses. Some were looking for a sugar daddy husband. See International Marriages in Japan factsanddetails.com

These days many Korean men seek Filipina wives (See Below). A number of Australians and Europeans have also married women from the Philippines. Thousands of Filipina mail order brides have also found their way to the United States. Philippine brides have been the victim of murder in the United States. Filipinas once dominated the American mail order bride business. Since the collapse of the Soviet Union, the business has been taken over by women from Russian and the former eastern bloc.

Maria Regina Angela Galias, head of the Migrant Integration and Education Division of the Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO), told the Korea Times that lately, South Korea and Japan have become the top destinations of Filipina mail-order brides. Filipino women who get married under the mail-order bride scheme are usually between 18 and 25 years old and want to help their families in the Philippines. In most cases, we learned that they agreed to enter the scheme to help their families for economic reasons. For some, mail order was the only choice they had to marry a foreigner and live or work in another country, Galias said. [Source: Jonathan M. Hicap, Korea Times, 2009]

Filipina Mail-Order Brides in South Korea

The Philippines government has estimated that about 10,000 Filipino women have married South Koreans as of the late 2000s. Although matchmaking agencies are illegal in the Philippines, similar services have operated legally in South Korea, where thousands of men have used them to find foreign brides. Philippine officials have said that many of these arrangements involve little or no courtship and often include financial transactions. This system has sometimes created problems in marriages, as language barriers, cultural differences, and the perception that wives were “purchased” contributed to tensions between Korean husbands and Filipina brides. [Source: Jonathan M. Hicap, Korea Times, 2009; Associated Press, June 27, 2013; Xianne Arcangel, gmanews, December 12, 2013]

South Korean government data recorded more than 6,000 Filipinos married to Koreans, though the exact number resulting from brokered marriages is unclear. According to the Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO), many women met their future husbands through “show-up” events in which several Filipinas were presented to a Korean client who selected a potential wife and married her shortly afterward. Such arrangements sometimes led to difficulties once the women moved to Korea, and some brides eventually left their husbands because they could not tolerate the conditions of the marriage.

Researchers also observed changing profiles among Filipina brides. In the early 2000s many were college graduates, but by 2007 more had only completed high school, which some analysts interpreted as evidence of increased recruitment through marriage brokers. Studies suggested that Korean men seeking foreign wives were often older, from lower-middle-class backgrounds, and looking for partners willing to assume traditional domestic roles, particularly if they had struggled to find Korean spouses.

Some Filipina women encountered serious problems after arriving in South Korea. Philippine embassy officials reported cases in which women’s passports and documents were confiscated by husbands, employers, or in-laws, limiting their freedom. Others were misled about their husbands’ backgrounds or family situations. Complaints received by the embassy included reports of abuse, abandonment, and divorce among women who had entered marriages arranged through illegal brokers.

Scholars and human rights advocates have argued that the system can resemble human trafficking because grooms often pay thousands of dollars in agency fees, creating the expectation that they have full control over their wives. Cultural misunderstandings, language barriers, and unequal power relationships sometimes contributed to physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. Government reports and human rights organizations also noted broader concerns about trafficking and exploitation of foreign women in South Korea.

Authorities in both countries have taken action against illegal marriage brokers. In 2013 Philippine police dismantled a mail-order bride syndicate near Manila and rescued 29 women, including a minor, who had been promised prosperous lives in South Korea but instead faced the risk of abusive marriages. Officials said the suspects would be charged under human trafficking and anti-mail-order bride laws, reflecting ongoing efforts to curb exploitation in international marriage arrangements.

Image Sources: Wikimedia Commons

Text Sources: New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Times of London, Lonely Planet Guides, Library of Congress, Philippines Department of Tourism, Compton’s Encyclopedia, The Guardian, National Geographic, Smithsonian magazine, The New Yorker, Time, Newsweek, Reuters, AP, AFP, Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic Monthly, The Economist, Foreign Policy, Wikipedia, BBC, CNN, and various books, websites and other publications.

Last updated March 2026