MARRIAGE IN THE PHILIPPINES: VIEWS, PROCESSES, DOCUMENTS

MARRIAGE IN THE PHILIPPINES

Filipino Wedding photo from 1952

Marriage is the most important rite of passage in the Philippines. It sanctifies parenthood and provides a stable environment in which to nurture and educate children into the ways of the group. Philippine marriages involve not only two people in love but also the bonding of two families and often extended kin and godparents. Marriages have traditionally been a way for elite, politically powerful families to unite. Marriages among cousins of different degrees are somewhat common among Tagalogs. [Source: Kathleen M. Nadeau, Worldmark Encyclopedia of Religious Practices, Thomson Gale, 2006]

Marriage in the Philippines usually involves both a civil and a religious ceremony. The civil wedding is conducted at city or municipal offices, while many couples also hold a church ceremony to solemnize the union according to religious traditions. Arranged marriages have generally not been part of Filipino culture. However, social expectations still encourage men to marry, and if a man remains single into his late twenties, female relatives often begin introducing him to potential partners. [Source: “Encyclopedia of World Cultures Volume 5: East / Southeast Asia:” edited by Paul Hockings, 1993]

Love marriages with parental approval—as opposed to arranged marriages—are the norm although parents often play a role in choosing marriage partners for their children. Marriages have traditionally been monogamous although in some places, particularly Muslim and tribal areas, men have had more than one wife. Virginity has traditionally been valued, particularly in the countryside. If a young man decides he wants to marry a particular girl, he or his parents visit the young woman’s house and offer a gift. After this initial visit the parents of the couple meet. The median age for marriage in the 1990s was around twenty-two. Today many young people, especially professionals, delay marriage until their late twenties. Long engagements lasting five to seven years are fairly common. During this time, couples typically focus on building stable careers, helping support the education of younger siblings, and gradually acquiring household items needed for married life. Divorce is not legally recognized in most of the Philippines, but marriages can be dissolved through annulment. Grounds for annulment include physical incapacity, domestic violence, or coercion to change one’s religious or political beliefs. Marriages between people of different faiths are relatively uncommon.

Colonial-era beliefs about the sacredness of marriage fostered strong social disapproval of unmarried couples living together. As a result, cohabitation was relatively uncommon in the 1940s. In a society with fewer economic resources, the social and legal implications of “common-law marriage” were limited, and official statistics made it difficult to determine how widespread the practice actually was. Beginning in the late 1980s, however, Western attitudes that were more tolerant of non-marital cohabitation began influencing younger and middle-aged Filipinos. By the mid-1990s, estimates suggested about 340,000 couples were living together without being married, an increase of roughly half a percent. In many provincial areas, these couples were often separated from their legal spouses but unable to remarry because divorce was illegal. Others included college students, young people, artists, and intellectuals who were drawn to this lifestyle.[Source: Jose Florante J. Leyson, M.D., Encyclopedia of Sexuality 2001]

Views on Marriage in the Philippines

from Asia News Network

Concepts about marriage are shaped by the Catholic church. Marriage has traditionally been regarded as the milestone to becoming an adult and young people were encouraged to get married as soon as possible. Social attitudes toward marriage can still place pressure on women. A woman who reaches her early thirties without marrying may be viewed as having passed the typical marriageable age. Some women also believe that marrying a wealthy man or a foreigner can offer greater financial security and happiness.

According to a 2001 Time sex survey 82 percent of males and 87 percent of females said that monogamy was important to them and 78 percent of males and 65 percent of females said it was important to marry a virgin. In the same sex survey 48 percent of males and 10 percent of females answered yes when asked if they had every been unfaithful.

Traditional social expectations in the Philippines have been strongly influenced by Chinese culture, which promotes the idea that people should “get married at a marriageable age.” They have also been influenced by Western ideas that marriage is the natural outcome of a stable heterosexual relationship and an expected step in adult life. In recent years, however, attitudes have gradually changed. Influenced partly by Western ideas about women’s rights and personal freedom, Filipinos have become more accepting of the choice to remain single. Being an older unmarried woman is no longer widely regarded as a social stigma or a sign of personal failure. [Source: Jose Florante J. Leyson, M.D., Encyclopedia of Sexuality 2001]

Among Christians, courts generally do not accept pregnancy as a valid reason to permit the marriage of a minor. Laws have also eliminated the practice of reparatory marriage, which once allowed men accused of rape or abduction to avoid punishment by marrying the victim. In the predominantly Muslim regions of the southern Philippines, a dowry is typically arranged before the marriage contract is finalized. This dowry, provided by the bride’s parents to the groom, may include money, property, or valuable gifts.

"Nangangaliwa," which translates to "a busy left hand which the right hand is unaware of," is a metaphor for marital infidelity. While "left-handed" husbands are tolerated, society does not look kindly upon wifely "left turns."[Source: “Culture Shock!: Philippines” by Alfredo Roces and Grace Roces, Marshall Cavendish International, 2010]

Different Marriage Customs in the Philippines

There are more than fifty major tribes and ethnic groups in the Philippines, each with distinct, diverse and independent courtship and marriage customs and traditions. A marital union generally occurs within the same tribe. When one of the parties to a marriage comes from another tribe, a check is made with respect to the presence or absence of a peace pact between the two tribes involved. If such peace pact exists, well and good. Otherwise, no marriage occurs. [Source: kasal.com ^]

Many have common features. According to somewhat biased and Catholic-based Kasal.com: 1) Courtship are often non-existent; 2) A marital union is often addressed to a local god; 3) Marriage is generally within the same tribe; 4) Women of the tribe usually marry young; 5) They are generally monogamous; 6) Superstition plays a significant role in the realization of marriage; 7) Parental intervention always attends a marriage; 8) A marital union is always for and in consideration of a dowry; 9) Dowry is meant only for the bride-to-be and held by her parents for safekeeping; 10 ) Dowry is always arranged and delivered before a wedding; 11) Dowry casts some form of stigma; 12) The price of infidelity or changeable disposition is exacting; 13) Divorce disgraces the parties concerned, especially the women.

Dowry systems vary from group to group. The Ilongos dowry system, known as the hukot is a departure from the "you-name-it-and-we'll-pay-it -if-we-can-afford-to-but-we'll-ask-for-a-reduction-if-we-cannot" method of the other ethnic groups is what makes the Ilongo courtship and marriage practices distinct. The mechanics of the hukot starts with the offer of one peso, upping it every time with another peso — nothing more, nothing less — if this proved to be unacceptable, as it invariably does until the sum becomes sizeable enough to be acceptable. The acceptance terminates the negotiation. In a dowry consisting of, say, five hundred pesos, it can just be imagined how lengthy, rigorous and time-consuming this process is. It should, however, be noted that they are not after conserving time, as they are not wanting in it what with their existence being rural and rustic.

If a couple marries against the wishes of their families, they may choose to elope, which is a socially recognized practice. The couple usually stays temporarily with a supportive relative or friend. In such cases, parents often respond by withdrawing financial or emotional support. Over time, however, relatives or family friends may act as mediators to help reconcile the families. If reconciliation does not occur immediately, the couple may later visit the parents with their first child to seek forgiveness. The presence of a grandchild often softens the parents’ anger, leading to reconciliation and the restoration of family harmony. [Source: “Culture Shock!: Philippines” by Alfredo Roces and Grace Roces, Marshall Cavendish International, 2010]

Polygyny existed in pre-colonial Philippine societies and remained relatively common among Muslim communities before the 1970s. Today, however, polygynous marriages are rare. Most well-educated men—whether Muslim or Christian—prefer monogamy, often citing the financial responsibilities involved in supporting more than one household. [Source: Jose Florante J. Leyson, M.D., Encyclopedia of Sexuality 2001]

Requirements for Filipinos Marrying Foreigners

A foreign citizen who marries a Filipino needs to secure a clearance certificate from the Archdiocesan Chancery Office (at the Archbishop’s Office, 121 Arzobispo St., Intramuros). Before securing the clearance, you need to have the following documents: 1) New copies of Baptismal Certificates of both parties marked "For Marriage Purposes." 2) A copy of Certification of Freedom to Marry from the foreign citizen’s embassy. 3) A copy of the Marriage License or Marriage Certificate. 4) Military Clearance (if either party is member of the Armed Forces). 5) Wedding Banns — the Filipino party should publish wedding banns in his/her parish church. If the foreign citizen lives in the Philippines, he/she will also need to have wedding banns published in his/her parish. 6) If the foreign citizen lives abroad, he/she needs to obtain a certification from his/her parish that he/she is a parishioner of good standing. This is in lieu of the wedding bann. 7) Dispensation from the parish priest stating that the party is allowed to marry or has no marriage impediment. 8) If one party is widowed, a copy of the death certificate of the deceased spouse. [Source: Gladys Pinky D. Tolete, kasal.com ***]

If one party is divorced or comes from an annulled marriage, the additional documents are required); 1) a declaration of nullity from a competent Catholic Marriage Tribunal or from the Bishop in charge of the residence of the party, to confirm that the said party is free to marry. ) For the non-divorced Catholic party: a certification that he/she is free to marry from his/her pastor, or have his/her baptismal certificate marked with "For Marriage Purposes" or have his/her wedding banns published in his/her parish. For the non-divorced non-Catholic party: certification from his/her parish that he/she has never been married and that he/she is free from any marriage impediment. ***

When a Filipino intends to marry a foreign citizen, it is likely that the latter practices a different religion. Hence, the Church has also set requirements for people of different faiths (these requirements also hold true for Filipinos of different religions). If one party is a non-Catholic Christian (i.e. Protestant, Iglesia ni Cristo, etc. ), the following documents are needed: 1) New copies of Baptismal Certificates of both parties marked "For Marriage Purposes."; 2) A certification from the Catholic party’s pastor declaring that he/she has never contracted any form of marriage and that he/she is free from any marriage impediment. The Catholic partner would also need to publish banns in his/her parish. 3) Marriage license or a marriage certificate if already civilly married. 4) If one party is widowed, a copy of the death certificate of the deceased spouse. 5) A written permission for mixed marriage from the bishop to validate the celebration of marriage. ***

If one party is non-Christian or has no religion: 1) A new copy of baptismal certificate of the Catholic party marked "For Marriage Purposes." 2) Certification of freedom to marry from the Catholic party’s parish priest that he/she is free to marry or that he/she is free from any marriage impediment. Or, the Catholic party should have wedding banns published in his/her parish. 3) To make sure you do not forget anything, consult regularly with the priest of the church where you are getting married. 4) For the non-Christian, a certification from his/her embassy (if he/she is a foreigner) or from his/her country that he/she has never been married in any form and that there is no legal hindrance for his/her upcoming marriage. 5) Marriage license or marriage certificate. 6) Dispensation from the parish priest stating that the party is allowed to marry or has no marriage impediment. 7) A written permission from the bishop to validate the celebration of marriage. ***

The Philippine Government requires foreigners who wish to marry in the Philippines to obtain from the their Embassy a “Certificate of Legal Capacity to Contract Marriage” before filing an application for a marriage license. For Americans, because there is no national register of marriages in the United States, the U.S. Embassy cannot provide such a certification. As a result, the Philippine Government will accept an “Affidavit in Lieu of a Certificate of Legal Capacity to Contract Marriage” in its place. Execution of the affidavit by a U.S. consular officer is a notarial act and the consular officer is authorized by U.S. law to refuse to perform the service if the document will be used for a purpose patently unlawful, improper, or inimical to the best interests of the United States. Entering into a marriage contract for the principal purpose of facilitating immigration to the United States for an alien is an unlawful act, and the U.S. Code provides penalties for individuals who commit perjury in an affidavit taken by a consular officer. [Source: U.S. State Department Consular Information Sheet, January 17, 2008; This information could be out of date]

Philippines Marriage Certificate

Marriage to a U.S. citizen confers neither citizenship nor an automatic eligibility for entry to the United States. A foreign spouse requires an immigrant visa to live in the United States. Relationship fraud is a persistent problem in the Philippines, and it is not uncommon for Filipinos to enter into marriages with Americans solely for immigration purposes. Relationships developed via correspondence, particularly those begun on the Internet, are particularly susceptible to manipulation. The Marriage Application Process: Once an American citizen has obtained from the U.S. Embassy an “Affidavit in Lieu of a Certificate of Legal Capacity to Contract Marriage,” he/she may file an application for a marriage license at the office of the Philippine Civil Registrar in the town or city where one of the parties is a resident. The U.S. citizen applicant must present: (a) the affidavit; (b) divorce decree(s) or death certificate(s), if applicable (required to verify civil status and legal capacity to contract marriage); (c) his/her U.S. passport; and (d) documentation regarding parental consent or advice, if applicable. (Persons aged 18 to 21 must have written parental consent to marry in the Philippines; those aged 22 to 24 must have received parental advice. Philippine law prohibits marriage for persons under the age of 18.) A judge, a minister, or other person authorized by the Philippine Government can perform the marriage.

Child Betrothal and Unusual Philippines Marriage Customs

The lagpitaw ((slingshot) or surprise marriage refers to Bicolano courtship and marriage practices. It is a kind of surprise marriage entered into between the parents of the would-be bridegroom and that of the bride-to-be. Utmost secrecy attends its sealing. The bride and the bridegroom come to know of their fate only when they are told to don their wedding attire for an appointment at the altar, come wedding day. Among the cultural minorities, it is the Bagjao(w) tribe that boasts of a similar practice. [Source: kasal.com ^]

The early Isinays of Nueva Vizcaya were responsible for choosing the spouses of their children. This was called purung. The announcement of the betrothal was accompanied by a ritual wherein the guests would offer a prayer to the souls of the dead relatives of their host. After the prayers, food is served, and the announcement is revealed to everyone. The public announcement is done so that should the marriage not push through, the one who backed out shall shoulder all the purung's expenses. ^

Child betrothal marriage traditions may still be practiced in Pampanga. Practiced mostly in olden times between good friends, it is promise of marriage that take place when the prospective bride and groom are just children. Sixteen or seventeen years later, the pledge is redeemed with the marital union of the two children. The children are told about the pledge only upon reaching marriageable age; they sometimes grow up together without knowing it. "Parental agreement" is sometimes the term applied to this pact. In the Chabacano tradition, however, a girl form the age of ten and upward already knows her life-partner since she is forewarned by her parents of the agreement. A pact like this can be discontinued when one of the betrothed dies or when the parents who entered into such pact, for some reason, severe their ties of friendship. Also, if one of the parents die, the pact may not be enforced. ^

The Ilongo tradition with respect to child betrothal is a departure in that is done by offering a silver peso coin to a woman on the family way by the parents of a male infant. The former's acceptance of it denotes a betrothal, perfected when she gives birth to a girl. ^

Mangyan marital hygiene: The Mangyans are the tribespeople of Mindoro. They believe that cleanliness augurs (forecast) the blooming of love. A man or woman, who has reached the age of puberty and past and takes to cleaning himself or herself, as the case may be, means that he or she is preparing for a love affair. Even after marriage, both spouses must continue to keep dirty. For cleanliness, as in their younger days, means a tryst with a love affair. Not too infrequently does this aspect of their custom cause suspicion on the part of the other spouse. ^

Pamamanhikan (Asking of Hand in Marriage)

The Philippine Government requires all foreigners to provide a “Certificate of Legal Capacity to Contract Marriage” from his/her embassy before filing for a marriage license; This certification affirms that there are no legal impediments to the foreigner marrying a Filipino (that the foreigner is already married to someone else)

Among Tagalogs, the prospective groom and his family visit the bride’s parents and make plans for the wedding in a process known as “pamamanhikan” (or “pamanhikan”) that involves setting the wedding date on an auspicious day in terms of astrology and what is considered lucky and unlucky, preferably then the moon is waxing rather than waning. Some Tagalog couples believe their fate lies in choosing the right day. The bride’s parents often host a big feast before the wedding. Its success is regarded as predictor as to whether the wedding and marriage will also be a success.

After a long courtship, if the couple later decide to get married, there is the Filipino tradition of pamamanhikan (from panik, to go up the stairs of the house), where the man and his parents visit the woman's family and ask for her parents blessings to marry their daughter. It is also an occasion for the parents of the woman to get to know the parents of the man. During pamamanhikan, the man and his parents bring some pasalubong (gifts). It is also at this time that the wedding date is formally set, and the couple become engaged to get married. [Source: Center for Southeast Asian Studies Northern Illinois University, seasite.niu.edu ]

A well brought up Filipino suitor is expected to go to the father of the girl and formally, manfully, declare his honorable intentions and ask for her hand in marriage. That's just for a starter. Hewing to a native custom among the old principalia, Filipino families to this day carry on the practice of pamamanhikan, whereby the parents of the boy call on the parents of the girl to formally, and with ceremony, ask for her hand in marriage.
The courtliness of our Malay forebears seems particularly honed for the handling of delicate matters, as in forging of kinships. During the official call, the eldersuse metaphorical and indirect language; or once did. Whatever the language in current use, it is the form of the ritual that's still adhered to. [Source: Ira, L.B. 1990. Guidebook to the Filipino Wedding. Manila: Vera-Reyes, kasal.com ^]

Parents embarked on the mission for their son, particularly if it is a first wedding in the family, have found themselves at a loss for the proper words, or the proper way to go about it, even if the ritual often is a mere formality. Confronted with this new parental role, usually self-assured middle-agers tend to lose their cool. "The children here seem to be planning something. I said, perhaps we ought to ask permission first, before anything."^

The prospective groom's father may use an ice-breaking line. Something like, "The children here seem to be planning something. I said, perhaps we ought to ask permission first, before anything." On his part the girl's father may put on a formal mien. He may, quite properly, hedge. (It would hardly be proper to look eager or happy.) Tradition assigns the young pair no role other than to look properly and obediently filial. ^

The procedure is rendered simpler if the two sets of parents already know one another (which, given that young people tend to orbit in certain circles, is often the case). If not, the old Filipino networking is resorted to: find a mutual friend or relative to help ease the first meeting, usually at her house, or a private function room of a club, a hotel, or restaurant. The milestone of passage from one social stage to another is marked with food and drink. ^

Confirmation in the Philippines

In the Philippines, parishes require Catholic couples to be confirmed before getting married. The sacrament of confirmation is a sacrament in which the Holy Ghost is given to those already baptized in order to make them strong and perfect Christians and soldiers of Jesus Christ. Parishes encourage Catholics who are about to get married to be confirmed first because this sacrament is said to "confer a character. By it the baptized continue their path of Christian initiation. They are enriched with the gift of the Holy Spirit, and are more closely linked to the Church. They are made strong and more firmly obliged by word and deed to witness to Christ and to spread and defend the faith." (Canon 879). [Source: kasal.com ^]

In any Roman Catholic church, you have to recieve the previous sacraments before recieving Confirmation, these include Baptism, Reconciliation (confession), and First Holy Communion. For children, this is often spread out over a decade or two, but often when people convert as adults the rites will be performed as one. One must have a certificate of baptism first, and at age ten , he must have his First Confession followed by First Communion. These are done in the Roman Catholic church. The deadline for registration is one month before the Confirmation date.

Confirmation Requirements: 1) Candidates must be twelve (12) years old and above. 2) Candidates must attend all the required seminars. 3) A copy of recent baptismal certificate for confirmation purposes. Required Seminars: 1) Parents’ Recollection & Meeting for Confirmandi (scheduled three weeks before Confirmation). 2) First Seminar of Confirmandi (three weeks before Confirmation). 3) Second Seminar of Confirmandi (two weeks before Confirmation). 4) Godparents’ Seminar & Practice (two weeks before Confirmation). 5) Second Rehearsal (a week before Confirmation). 6) General Rehearsal of Confirmandi & Godparent (scheduled a day before Confirmation).

Canon 1065 of the 1983 Code of Canon Law of the Roman Catholic Church states that "Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to marriage, if this can be done without grave inconvenience." In the Philippines, parishes require Catholic couples to be confirmed before getting married. The sacrament of confirmation is a sacrament in which the Holy Ghost is given to those already baptized in order to make them strong and perfect Christians and soldiers of Jesus Christ. Parishes encourage Catholics who are about to get married to be confirmed first because this sacrament is said to "confer a character. By it the baptized continue their path of Christian initiation. They are enriched with the gift of the Holy Spirit, and are more closely linked to the Church. They are made strong and more firmly obliged by word and deed to witness to Christ and to spread and defend the faith." (Canon 879). [Source:kasal.com ^]

Parental Consent for Marriage in the Philippines

Couples need their parents' blessings before getting married. The legal requirement states they can get parental consent or parental advice. In case both or either one of the couple is between the ages of eighteen and twenty-one, he or she is required to submit to the local civil registrar the consent of the father, mother, surviving parent or guardian, or persons having legal charge over you, in that order. The parental consent is written in form and the parents or guardian should appear personally before the civil registrar. The consent could also be in the form of an affidavit made in the presence of two witnesses and attested before any official authorized by law to administer oaths. These will be attached to the application for the marriage license. [Source: kasal.com ^]

Should one fail to procure the parental consent, the marriage is deemed voidable or annullable, that a petition for the annulment of the marriage may be filed by the parents, guardian or person having substitute parental authority over you, in that order. Though after attaining the age of twenty-one, and the couple has lived together as husband and wife, the marriage is ratified. ^

In case both or either one of the couple is between the ages of twenty-one and twenty-five, he or she is obliged to ask parents or guardian for the parental advice. This is also written in form, and accompanied by a sworn statement by the couple that such advice was sought. These are attached to the application for the marriage license. Should the parents or guardian refuse to give any advice, this fact shall be stated in the sworn statement. If parents refuse to give advice or if the advice is unfavorable, then the marriage license will not be issued until after three months following the completion of the publication of the application for the marriage license.^

In addition to the parental consent or advice, if both or either one of the couple is between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five, he or she need to procure a certificate issued by a priest, imam or minister authorized to solemnize marriages or a duly accredited marriage counselor to certify that he or she have undergone marriage counseling. Failure to provide such shall also suspend the issuance of the marriage license for three months from the completion of the publication of the marriage license application. ^

Marriage Age, License and Legal Requirements for Marriage in the Philippines

The legal age for marriage in the Philippines is 18 years old for both males and females. Under Republic Act No. 11596, which took effect in 2022, child marriage is prohibited, defining a child as anyone under 18. Marriage under 18 is void, and arranging such marriages is illegal. In the past, legally, both men and women could vote at the age of 21, but the minimum legal age for marriage differs was 21 for men and 18 for women. In some Muslim communities, parents could (and maybe still can) arrange the betrothal of girls between the ages of 14 and 16 to older men.

The Philippines marriage license is valid in any part of the Philippines for one hundred twenty days from the date of issue, and shall be deemed automatically canceled at the expiration of the said period if the couple has not made use of it. The expiry date shall be stamped in bold characters on the face of every license issued. The marriage license is issued by the local registrar of the city or municipality of either parties. [Source: kasal.com ^]

Each party should file a separate application which shall specify the following: 1) Full name of the contracting party; 2) Place of birth; 3) Age and date of birth; 4) Civil status; 5) If previously married, how, when, and where the previous marriage was dissolved or annulled; 6) Present residence and citizenship; 7) Degree of relationship of the contracting parties; 8) Full name, residence and citizenship of the father; 9) Full name, residence and citizenship of the mother; 10) Full name, residence and citizenship of the guardian or person having charge, in case the contracting party has neither father nor mother and is under the age of twenty-one.^

Couples have to remember to bring along your original birth or baptismal certificates. Certified true copies are likewise accepted. In case the birth or baptismal certificates are missing, were destroyed, etc., the current residence certificate may be submitted, or an instrument containing the sworn declaration of two witnesses of lawful age, setting forth the full name, residence and citizenship of such contracting party and of his or her parents, if known, and the place and date of birth of such party. The nearest of kin are preferred as witnesses, or persons of good reputation in the province or the locality. However, the birth and baptismal certificates are no longer required if the parents of the couple appear before the local registrar and swear to the correctness of the legal age of the said parties and if the registrar is convinced that the couple is of marrying age. ^

In case either of the parties has been previously married, a copy of the death certificate of the deceased spouse should be submitted, or the judicial decree of absolute divorce, of annulment, or declaration of nullity of previous marriage. In case the death certificate cannot be secured, an affidavit stating the party's actual status and the name and death of deceased spouse should be executed. ^

If both or either parties are between the ages of eighteen to twenty-one, written consent should be secured from their father, mother, surviving parent or guardian, or persons having legal charge of them. If both or either parties are between the ages of twenty-one to twenty-five, the couple is still obliged to ask their parents or guardian for advice. If they do not obtain such advice or if the parents are against the union, the marriage license should not be issued until after three months following the publication of the application for the license. The couple should also submit a sworn statement that advice was sought, and the written advice should also be attached to the application for license. If the parents refuse to give advice, this should also be noted. ^

In the cases where parental consent or parental advice is needed, the parties should attach a certificate issued by a priest, imam or minister authorized to solemnize marriage or a marriage counselor duly accredited by the proper government agency to certify that the couple have undergone marriage counseling. Failure to attach said certificates of marriage counseling shall suspend the issuance of the marriage license for a period of three months from the completion of the publication of the application. ^

The local civil registrar shall then prepare a notice containing the full names and residences of the applicants for a marriage license and other data given in the applications. The notice shall be posted for ten consecutive days on a bulletin board in a conspicuous place within the registrar's building and accessible to the general public. This notice shall request all persons having knowledge of any impediment to the marriage to advise the local civil registrar thereof. The marriage license shall be issued after the completion of the period of publication. ^

In case of any impediment known to the local civil registrar or brought to his attention, these shall be duly noted. The registrar could still issue the license unless ordered otherwise by the court. The local civil registrar shall require the payment of the fees prescribed by law or regulations before the issuance of the marriage license. No other sum shall be collected in the nature of a fee or tax of any kind for the issuance of said license. It shall, however, be issued free of charge to indigent parties who have no visible means of income or whose income is insufficient for their subsistence. ^

Filipino Wedding Seminars, Banns, Encounters and Canonical Interviews

If the date set is for a church wedding, the prospective bride and groom will attend three Saturdays of a compulsory seminar where they are quizzed on the ten commandments, the memorization of generic prayers and listening to the essential counseling on the responsibilities of marriage. And for the sacramental union to be achieved in a state of grace, there is a compulsory confession the day before the wedding.[Source: Salmagundi, stuartxchange.com]

Who has not watched a movie whose wedding scene was interrupted by a dramatic "Itigil ang kasal! (Halt the wedding!)"? Wedding or marriage banns prevent such scenes on your big day. Banns are announcements in the church where the couple are getting married and in your respective parishes to inform the public of your forthcoming union of hearts. In the Philippines, it is usually read in the church thrice and posted for a month. This gives the people in your parish (who are most likely your townmates) the opportunity to speak out should they know of a valid reason why the wedding should not push through. [Source: Gladys Pinky D. Tolete, kasal.com ***]

As a couple arrange your wedding banns, they will be asked to schedule a canonical or pre-nuptial interview, or dulog, as it is known in the vernacular. This initial interview is required by the church to find out any possible impediments to your forthcoming wedding, to ensure the freedom of both parties, and to determine your knowledge of the duties, responsibilities and doctrines of a Catholic marriage.

It is advisable to set this meeting with the parish priest at least three months before the wedding. On this meeting, the couple will be asked to fill out a pre-marital questionnaire which will help the priest determine your readiness and freedom to marry. The priest will also discuss the whole marriage preparation process so now is the time to ask those little details that may be lurking in your minds. the couple will be asked to share about your relationship to determine strengths and weaknesses and to spot future issues. The priest will also discuss what are the future duties and responsibilities of husband and wife. After the interview, if the couple are deemed fit to marry and there are no impediments to such, the wedding date and wedding banns may be finalized with the parish. ***

After the initial or canonical interview, the couple could also ask your parish about the schedules of the pre-cana seminar. So named after Christ's presence at the Wedding in Cana of Galilee, it seeks to prepare engaged couples for the married life. A team of married couples from the parish leads these programs. The seminar centers around the sacrament of marriage, dealing with your partner, communication, family life and planning, intimacy and spirituality. It is advised that the couple schedule this seminar early on because some parishes have limited slots and get booked immediately. ***

Engagement encounters are no different from the church seminars, except that they take longer than a day and are usually held in retreat houses. Some parishes do require engagement encounters together with the church interview when they see the need for it. These week-end programs are for couples who are seriously considering getting married. A team of married couples, together with a priest, share what it's like to be married. This gives the couple a preview of the married life, this time coming from real-life couples. Afterwards, the couple may answer a questionnaire or are left to privately communicate with each other. After all, one of the main thrusts of engagement encounters is to provide a venue for couples to assess their selves and their relationship free from concerns such as work, studies, etc. Engagement encounters help the couple plan the whole marriage itself and not only the wedding aspect. Other topics include family planning, decision-making, communicating and other vital concerns of being married. In the Philippines, two of the well-known programs are the Discovery Weekend and Catholic Engaged Encounter Philippines. Due to many requests, it is better to contact them early and make reservations.[Source: kasal.com ^]

Filipino Dowry System

In rural areas it is still common for the bride’s family to pay a large dowry to the groom. In return the groom is expected to provide well for their daughter and preferably have a university degree. Sometimes the bride’s or groom’s family give the newlyweds land, a home or money to spend during their marriage. The groom’s family usually pays for the wedding, the wedding clothes and gifts. They usually prepare food and entertain relatives before the wedding. Sometimes the groom’s family will give the bride’ family a valuable gift, even build them a home.

The Tagalog tradition of courtship and marriage is a class all its own, especially with respect to dowry-giving. It has no similarity in either the Christian Filipino or traditional practices. Its counterpart cannot be encountered in the Ilocano, Pangasinese, Pampango, Bicolano, Ilongo, Waray-waray, Cebuano or any other practices and customs of the majority ethnic groups. Neither can a version of it be found in the customs of the Igorots, Tinguians or Itnegs, Apayao(w)s or Isnegs, Aetas, Gadangs, Ibanags, Dumagats, Manobos, Bagobos, Badjao(w)s, Maranao(w)s, Maguindanao(w)s, Tasadays, Tirurays, Tagabilis, Tagbanwas, Bataks, Tausogs and other minority groups. But perhaps the nearest things to it is the Bagobo system which requires the bride-to-be's father to make a return present equivalent to one-half of whatever is agreed upon as dowry. This quaint dowry-giving practice is called Tumbasan, or "the act of making equal." It boasts of the following mechanics: in an offer by the parents of the bride to give one hectare of riceland as dowry, it calls upon the bridegroom's parents to even or equal the gesture by also giving one hectare of riceland. In a majority of cases, that would generally settle the marriage. [Source: kasal.com ^]

But sometimes vanity gets the better of them and the whole process transforms into a bidding game. The bride's parents may up the offer by another hectare or more of the riceland, in which case it devolves upon the bridegroom's parents to offer an equivalent number of hectare and/or hectares of riceland, and so on and so forth. Where the bidding stops, that's the amount of dowry. For instance the bridegroom's parents could only go so far as five hectares, then that's where the ritual ends: five hectares of riceland from either side or a total of ten hectares. It somehow provides the newly-weds something to start their life. Let it however, be observed that this is a practice that by its very nature is common only among the affluent. ^

Filipino Married Life

It is still customary for newlyweds to live with either the bride's or groom's parents for at least a year until they can settle down. Leaving their parents' home can provoke an emotional crisis because Filipino parents are reluctant to let go. They regard their married children's desire to live independently as a sign of unhappiness and a breakdown of harmony within the family home. This is also true for bachelors who want to live alone, which was unheard of in the past. The family fears that the community will interpret this move as a sign of family discord, and of course, hiya will not allow such an impression, even if it is true. [Source: “Culture Shock!: Philippines” by Alfredo Roces and Grace Roces, Marshall Cavendish International, 2010]

In rural areas, the ideal is for each nuclear family to live in its own household. However, one child—often accompanied by a spouse—typically remains with the parents. In Manila, having married children live in separate houses within a common area called a compound demonstrates family togetherness. Ultimately, however, the young couple moves out on their own. Moving into a new house signals an important beginning. The new homeowners may hold a house blessing or housewarming party.

A new nuclear family strives for material security and the community's approval. The wife is often free to develop her entrepreneurial nature, and she is always considered an important supplementary earner. Material prosperity and professional success are evaluated based on the esteem of the community; otherwise, any such advancement is considered incomplete. Thus, the nuclear family seeks to share any success or pleasure by hosting feasts and inviting relatives and important people and friends. A job promotion, winning the lottery, receiving a distinguished professional award, or winning a beauty contest are all occasions for a "blowout," a celebration to share the family honor and lucky moment.

Increasing population pressure has led to an increase in multi-family households. Household members share domestic responsibilities: Parents divide chores and childcare, while older children assume duties such as caring for younger siblings and cooking. Households often include three generations, but usually only one or two nuclear families with young children. [Source: Charles Kaut, "Encyclopedia of World Cultures, Volume 5: East/Southeast Asia," edited by Paul Hockings, 1993.

Image Sources: Wikimedia Commons

Text Sources: “Encyclopedia of World Cultures Volume 5: East/Southeast Asia:” edited by Paul Hockings, 1993; “Culture Shock!: Philippines” by Alfredo Roces and Grace Roces, Marshall Cavendish International, 2010; National Geographic, Live Science, Philippines Department of Tourism, New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Smithsonian magazine, Encyclopedia.com, Library of Congress, The Conversation, The New Yorker, Time, BBC, CNN, Reuters, Associated Press, AFP, Lonely Planet Guides, Google AI, Wikipedia, The Guardian and various websites, books and other publications.

Last updated March 2026