ETIQUETTE AND MANNERS IN THE PHILIPPINES: CUSTOMS, PUBLIC ACTIONS, RESPECT

CUSTOMS IN THE PHILIPPINES

Bayanihan, the Filipino custom of helping your neighbors carry their house, see FILIPINO SOCIETY factsanddetails.com

The Philippines is more Westernized than other Asian countries. Many customs are similar to those found in Spain, the United States and Latin America. But it is important to keep in mind that Filipinos don’t like to say no. They avoid confrontation and view anger as a serious loss of face. You are required by law to stand when the national anthem is played before a movie in a cinema. [Source: “The Traveler's Guide to Asian Customs & Manners” by Elizabeth Devine and Nancy L. Braganti; “Culture Shock!: Philippines” by Alfredo Roces and Grace Roces, Marshall Cavendish International, 2010]

People believe that it is their duty to keep things running smoothly. It is also very important not to lose face. Correcting or being corrected in public is not considered acceptable behavior. People want to grant all requests, so they often say "yes" when they mean "no" or "maybe." Others understand when a request goes unfulfilled because saying no might cause an individual to lose face. When invited to join a family for a meal, one must refuse the offer. If the invitation is extended a second or third time, however, it is permissible to accept. Time consciousness and management are not important considerations. A planned meeting may take place later—much later—or never. [Source: “Encyclopedia of World Cultures Volume 5: East / Southeast Asia:” edited by Paul Hockings, 1993]

People pride themselves on hospitality. They readily go out of their way to help visitors or take them to their destination. It is of the utmost importance to recognize others' positions and use their full titles and names when introducing or referring to them. Helpful Hints: 1) Speak softly and control your emotions in public. Make requests, not demands. 2) Don't be offended by personal questions. These are asked to show interest. Feel free to ask the same questions in return, especially about family. 3) Verbal assault is a crime for which you can be charged. 4) Never bring shame to a person. This reflects on his family. Personal goals are sacrificed for the good of the family. 5) Never directly criticize anyone, especially in public. Never offer insincere comments or compliments.

Filipino Greetings

Mano po see FILIPINO COMMUNICATION STYLES: GESTURES, BODY LANGUAGE, EYEBROWS, SPACE factsanddetails.com

In the Philippines, both men and women often greet one another by shaking hands. When a man meets a woman he usually waits for the woman to offer her hand first. Women sometimes hug or kiss one another on the cheek when they meet. Men sometimes pat each other on the back. Men and women shake hands with everyone present at a business meeting or social occasion and when saying "goodbye." Handshakes should be friendly and informal, but not limp. When one places his or her hand on the forehead of another, this is a sign of respect. But as a rule touching, especially men touching women, is not well regarded by Filipinos. Carefully observe the degree of comfort and sense of space. Filipinos tend to need a wider personal space.

Sometimes Filipinos get the attention of one another by making eye contact and raising and lowering their eyebrows. Raising and lowering the eyebrows while making brief eye contact is a common nonverbal greeting in the Philippines. This quick movement serves as a recognition signal between people. When accompanied by a smile, it becomes a friendly, wordless way of saying “hello.” [Source: “Culture Shock!: Philippines” by Alfredo Roces and Grace Roces, Marshall Cavendish International, 2010]

Generally, Filipinos are title-conscious. Note for example the use of titles before the names of professionals such as Dr. (doctor), Atty. (attorney, lawyer), Engr. (engineer), Arch. (architect), Prof. (professor). They also tend to say "sir" or "ma’am" to show their respect, not just to their superiors but to older people as well, until told otherwise. Colleagues are often addressed by the first name. [Source: Canadian Center for Intercultural Learning]

When meeting a Filipino for the first time, and you want to make a good impression, maintain a low profile, be friendly without being "artificial" and show a genuine interest in the culture. Do not flaunt your wealth (jewellery and other expensive looking personal belongings and cash). Avoid wearing immodest or revealing clothing, especially in Muslim-dominated areas where there is a clear standard for appropriate attire.

Tagalog speakers in the Philippines have many ways of greeting other people. It is common also to hear them say "Hi" or "Hello" as a form of greeting, especially among close friends. There are no Tagalog translations for these English greetings because they are basically borrowed terms. In business situation Filipinos often address each other as Mr., Mrs. or Miss or their titles. [Source: Philippines Department of Tourism]

Below are a few Tagalog greetings that are importart to learn if one wants to endear himself/herself to Filipinos. Magandang umaga po. (formal/polite) - Good morning; Magandang umaga. (informal) - Good morning; Magandang tanghali po. (formal/polite) - Good noon; Magandang tanghali. (informal) - Good noon; Magandang hapon po. (formal/polite) - Good afternoon; Magandang hapon. (informal) - Good afternoon; Magandang gabi po. (formal/polite) - Good evening; Magandang gabi. (informal) - Good evening; Kumusta po kayo? (formal/polite) - How are you?; Kumusta ka? (informal) - How are you?; Mabuti po naman. (formal/polite) - I'm fine; Mabuti naman. (informal) - I'm fine; Tuloy po kayo. (formal/polite) - Please, come in; Tuloy. (informal) - Please, come in.

Public Customs in the Philippines

Filipinos often hiss to get the attention of a waiter, waitress or jeepney driver. They also show direction by puckering their lips and moving their mouths in the direction they pointing to. Filipinos often indicate "no" by raising their eyebrows. Staring is considered rude

Women often walk down the street holding hands, and men often embrace each other. This does not mean they are gay. Men hold doors open for women and practice other "lady's first" customs. Public display of affection such as holding hands and putting arms around the shoulders of one’s significant other are acceptable. There are few social sanctions with respect to modest displays of affection in public. Filipinos often smile or laugh when they are embarrassed. They like to take photographs.

Most Filipinos are generally open about their emotions (as long as in their judgment, they are appropriate and positive). But they do not normally express anger in public so as not to appear rude. Public displays of anger and other strong emotions are not well regarded, but do occur, particularly by (social) "superiors" when interacting with (social) "inferiors" (e.g. employers—employees, landowners-tenants/ agricultural labourers). The socially "inferior" target of such anger or emotion is unlikely to defend himself or herself, will often deeply resent such outbursts. Foreigners in "superior" positions —particularly Americans (including Canadians) and other non-Asians—may well be subconsciously held to higher standards than their Filipino counterparts with respect to use of strong emotions in public. Once you're perceived as arrogant and pushy, offers of hospitality disappear quickly. [Source: Canadian Center for Intercultural Learning]

Dislike of Queues (Lines) in the Philippines

Many Filipinos have a strong dislike of standing in queues (lines). During World War II, the Japanese occupation authorities tried to enforce long lines for scarce rice rations, creating painful memories of hardship. In the years after the war, water shortages in Manila forced people in crowded neighborhoods to line up again for basic necessities. Because of these experiences, the pila—or queue—came to be associated with frustration and deprivation, and people often try to avoid it whenever possible. [Source: “Culture Shock!: Philippines” by Alfredo Roces and Grace Roces, Marshall Cavendish International, 2010]

In crowded situations where no clear line exists, Filipinos may use subtle techniques to move forward. One observer described how a person might edge through a crowd by gently nudging an opening with an elbow while deliberately looking away from the person being pushed aside. The body then follows, and the movement is repeated from the other side. Because the person avoids direct eye contact, those being nudged usually do not take offense.

A similar spirit of improvisation can be seen in everyday driving. A driver may be praised for showing initiative if he finds ways around obstacles—bypassing lines of traffic, double-parking while a passenger runs an errand, or even briefly driving onto the pavement to reach a destination more quickly. In such situations, resourcefulness and determination are often valued over strict adherence to orderly rules.

Social Customs in the Philippines

In the Philippines, visiting someone’s home does not always require making a formal appointment, although doing so can be practical. However, it is best not to emphasize the visit too much beforehand, as hosts may feel pressured to clean their home or prepare something special. Guests are usually welcomed in the living room, and it is considered polite to ask permission before entering other areas of the house, such as the bathroom. In rural areas, visitors are often expected to remove their shoes or slippers when entering the house. [Source: “Culture Shock!: Philippines” by Alfredo Roces and Grace Roces, Marshall Cavendish International, 2010]

Filipinos and Southeast Asians consider it rude to say "no" directly. They often say something like "maybe," "I am busy," or even "yes" when they really mean "no," or convey a no answer in a way that foreigners don't understand. This behavior sometimes causes confusion with Westerners who like a "yes" or "no" answer, and who tend to believe there is a possibility of a "yes" unless they are told "no" straight out.

“Hiya” (pronounced hee-ya) is an important idea in the Philippines. It literally translates to ‘a sense of shame. Sometimes hiya is interpreted as ‘face’, as in ‘losing face’, but that is not the whole story. According to laonlaan.blogspot.com: “Filipinos are very sensitive to personal affront. They try, as much as possible, to avoid feeling “hiya”, a painful emotion or deep shame arising from a realization of having failed to live up to the standards of Filipino society. It is a kind of anxiety, a fear of being left exposed, unprotected and unaccepted. It is a fear of being shunned by their society, which would mean personal humiliation. See Separate Article on FILIPINO CHARACTER AND PERSONALITY [Source: laonlaan.blogspot.com /]

““Hiya” is one value that regulates the Filipinos social behavior. Just as one is very careful not to be subjected to embarrassment or “mapahiya” one must also make it a point NOT to cause another person’s embarrassment. For example, in asking favor, both parties are careful not to offend the other. So if a favor cannot be granted, the person who cannot oblige apologizes for his failure to do so with an explanation that it is not his intention to refuse but that other factors beyond his control keep him from doing so. /

Socializing in the Philippines

Filipinos usually make friends easily. They are warm and hospitable. They smile a lot, which makes it easier for strangers or foreigners to feel at ease with them. They can easily strike up a conversation with the person seated next to them, for example. Filipinos can communicate with peoples of other nations with ease because the majority of the population can fluently converse in English. When meeting a Filipino for the first time, and if you want to make a good impression, maintain a low profile, be friendly without being "artificial" and show a genuine interest in the culture. Do not flaunt your wealth (jewelry and other expensive looking personal belongings and cash). Avoid wearing immodest or revealing clothing, especially in Muslim-dominated areas where there is a clear standard for appropriate attire. Filipinos are often late for meetings with friends but are usually prompt or business appointments. [Source: executiveplanet.com]

Filipinos have a knack for humor. They can always find something to laugh about. They even love to craft funny anecdotes about socio-economic-political situations and adversaries in life. But it is not appropriate for a foreigner to either comment on the political situation or discuss religion. With regard to socio-cultural conflicts and issues, just listen during discussions and do not take sides. Good discussion topics include: family (Filipinos love to talk about their families), where you are from and the reason why you are in the Philippines. Filipinos are often late for meetings with friends but are usually prompt or business appointments. [Source: Canadian Center for Intercultural Learning +++]

When meeting a foreign guest or stranger for the first time, Filipinos often ask a lot of personnel questions. Most Filipinos do not mind being asked their age, so it would not be unusual for them to ask yours. Filipinos often interrupt one another when they are speaking. They touch other on the elbow to get someone's attention. In mixed company questions are often addressed to men. When socializing with Filipinos, don’t raise your voice. They are surprised by overt expressions of emotion. Show respect towards elders. Don't disagree with an elder people and make an effort to greet them and say goodby to them in a social setting. When speaking to adults/older people and people of status, use the polite forms of speech (po/ho). (Example: "Good morning po/ho!")

Home Customs in the Philippines

Filipinos are very hospitable. They often invite foreigners to their house for meal or put them up for the night. House guests are sometimes offered the master bedroom. If your invited to someone’s house it is customary to arrive 15 to 30 minutes late. Depending on the occasion, people offer gifts like flowers, cakes or fruit or designer products. Gifts are usually opened in front of the giver. People often send a thank you notes or a small gift after being invited to dinner, a social gathering or being a house guest.

In rural areas people tend to remove their shoes when entering a home; in urban areas they keep them on. Alisa Krutovsky wrote in Examiner.com: Upon entering a Filipino's home, one must remove one’s shoes, and should put on slippers. Filipinos don't like "outside dirt" inside the home. (This is actually a very common thing in Russia, Ukraine, Germany and France – based on my direct experience.) [Source:Alisa Krutovsky, Examiner.com, DC International Travel Examiner, December 27, 2009]

Guests are almost always offered something to eat or drink, and if the visit was expected, the host may prepare a special snack or meal. Alcoholic drinks are not typically offered during such visits. Children are generally expected to behave quietly; they may greet adult guests politely but are usually encouraged to leave the room afterward so they do not interrupt the conversation. According to etiquettescholar.com: When invited to a Philippine colleague's home for a formal meal, you will be told where to sit, and there you should remain. It is a great honor to be invited into a Philippine home, and Filipinos may be quick to invite you, as a Westerner, into theirs. Most middle-class households have servants: be aware that they may have prepared the food, not the hostess. Your spouse may be invited to join you for a meal at your colleague's home. [Source: Mike Lininger etiquettescholar.com ]

“Once invited to enter the Philippine home, you may need to remove your shoes, although Westernization has also changed this, especially in the cities. Once inside the home, do not wander around, unless you are invited to do so: much of the house is really off-limits to guests. If you move from room to room at someone's home, be sure to always allow the more senior members of your party to enter the room ahead of you.

“Be judicious about touching things and moving them about: many items have probably been placed where they are because it is auspicious to do so according to feng shui, a common tradition brought to the Philippines from the south of China. (Objects are placed, and buildings and rooms designed, so that bad spirits are kept out and good spirits are invited in.)”

It is said Filipinos are some of the smartest dressers in Asia. They dress well for most occasions. In formal situation or with upper class people men should wear a jacket and tie for initial meetings. Women should wear western dresses, skirts and blouses.

Eating Customs in the Philippines

Table knives are not used. Forks and spoons are used for dining. The food is eaten from a spoon. Many Filipinos eat with fork in the left hand and a spoon in their right hand and push food onto the back of the spoon with the fork. People often eat with their hands, even rice and stews. The traditional method of placing food on a banana leaf and eating with one's hands is also used throughout the country. It is acceptable to eat food with one's hands at restaurants as well as in the home. As is true in Muslim countries people eat with their right hand. Unlike other Asians, Filipinos eat their food quietly.

According to etiquettescholar.com: “Chopsticks are used to eat Chinese food. Otherwise, forks, spoons, and knives are used with Philippine and Western food. In some Philippine restaurants (the more authentic and usually downscale places), no utensils at all are used. Avoid using your left hand for any kind of eating, especially if you are eating directly with your hands and not using utensils.” [Source: etiquettescholar.com]

Meals are regarded as a social experience. There is often a lot of food and a lot of talking. Even middle class families sometimes have cooks and servant who cook and serve the food. Filipinos typically arrive 30 minutes late when invited for dinner. Guests are expected to eat a lot. If one eats heartily it is regarded as a compliment. If one doesn’t eat so much it is considered an insult. When something is offered, Filipinos refuse and offer the first time and even second time and accept the the third time.

Nuances of Invitations in the Philippines

Simple social invitations can sometimes lead to confusion or misunderstanding in Filipino culture, particularly regarding sincerity. For example, if you casually meet a Filipino friend on the street and mention that you are having friends over for dinner and say, “Why don’t you come too?”, the person may politely respond “Yes.” However, this response does not necessarily mean they intend to attend. In many cases, the invitation is interpreted as a gesture of politeness rather than a serious request. [Source: “Culture Shock!: Philippines” by Alfredo Roces and Grace Roces, Marshall Cavendish International, 2010]

To show that the invitation is genuine, it is often necessary to follow up with a phone call or send a message through a mutual friend who will confirm that the guest is truly expected. Without such confirmation, a casual verbal “yes” in a brief face-to-face encounter may not be considered binding, since the invitation may be understood as a spontaneous remark rather than a definite plan.

This situation reflects broader aspects of Filipino etiquette. Many Filipinos are careful to avoid appearing socially aggressive, overly eager for acceptance, or overly concerned with personal gain. From an early age, people are encouraged to avoid behaviors associated with greed, self-promotion, or social climbing. Instead, values such as modesty, humility, generosity, selflessness, and restraint are emphasized and considered socially desirable.

Pasalubong — The Filipino Tradition of Gift-Giving

Pasalubong is a word that describes the Filipino tradition of gift-giving. Rina Diane Caballar wrote in a BBC piece: The Filipino word ‘pasalubong’ has its roots in the word salubong, which means ‘meet’ or ‘welcome’. When prefixed by pa, the act of salubong turns into an object relating to it — ‘to meet’, ‘to welcome’. Pasalubong, therefore, is a souvenir — a gift given to someone. The precise beginnings of the pasalubong ritual are difficult to identify. Dr Nestor Castro, anthropology professor at the University of the Philippines, believes pasalubong is a pre-Hispanic practice, given that the term is indigenous to the Filipino language and that early Philippine communities engaged in long-distance trade.[Source: Rina Diane Caballar, BBC, July 11, 2017]

The word ‘pasalubong’ has its roots in the word salubong, which means ‘meet’ or ‘welcome’ Fellow anthropology professor at the University of the Philippines, Dr Michael Tan, agrees, writing, “…I suspect it referred to a time when travel was difficult, making the return more emotion-laden. The more distant and the more difficult the place one went to, as in the case of many of our overseas Filipinos, the more important it was to bring back something.”

But pasalubong is more than simply a souvenir or gift, with layers of meaning and ritual lying behind the word. Pasalubong is based on the principle of reciprocity — favour doing or gift giving,” explained Dr Mary Racelis, research scientist at the Institute of Philippine Culture and professorial lecturer at the Department of Sociology and Anthropology at the Ateneo de Manila University. She explained that bringing back pasalubong for those left behind fulfils certain cultural concerns: reinforcing a friendship, honouring the recipient, sharing one’s good fortune of being able to travel outside the community and promoting the idea that you were thinking of the recipient while you were away.

And pasalubong is not limited to items brought home by foreign workers. It can be as simple as a box of doughnuts from parents after work, or regional delicacies from places you’ve travelled to. Pasalubong can be typical of the place where one is coming from, or items that the recipient couldn’t normally afford.

Whenever I travel, I always think about the pasalubong I can bring back home. I look for items that are inextricably linked to places I’ve been — peanut kisses from the central Philippines’ Bohol province; ube hopia (moon cake-like pastries filled with purple yam) from Puerto Princesa in Palawan; durian candies from the southern Philippines’ Davao region; a batik sarong from Bali; Petronas Twin Towers shirts from Malaysia; Tim Tam biscuits from Australia; Choco-ade cookies from New Zealand.

Reciprocity — that the person who receives pasalubong is expected to give pasalubong in return — is an essential part of the ritual. Expressions of appreciation and reassurances of joy for the person returning home are also expected.

Balikbayan Boxes — Pasalubong From Filipinos Working Overseas

Rina Diane Caballar wrote in a BBC piece: As the daughter of a mother who worked overseas, I always looked forward to receiving pasalubong from Mama when we were kids. It came every few months in the form of balikbayan (return [to] country) boxes filled with chocolates, canned goods, toiletries, cosmetics, clothes, shoes and anything else that couldn’t be bought or found in the Philippines. These handpicked items were carefully packed by my mother, sent in the hopes of filling the void left by a parent abroad. [Source: Rina Diane Caballar, BBC, July 11, 2017]

Overseas Filipino workers, or OFWs, carry the heaviest pasalubong expectations. “Since they have gone abroad and ostensibly made a lot of money, pasalubong is a form of sharing their wealth,” Dr Racelis explained. “Pasalubong for the immediate family is seen as partly compensating for their having been away from the family for some time, and having deprived the latter of the worker’s presence.”

The rise in the number of Filipinos working in other countries, with Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates and Kuwait having the biggest diaspora, has led to the balikbayan box phenomenon. “The balikbayan box was a creative response by shippers who recognized that many OFWs were sending large amounts of items home,” Dr Racelis said. “They recognised the market demand and responded to it by designing and selling easy-to-assemble, sturdy and stackable boxes of the right size for airline shipping.”

The balikbayan box has become a receptacle for pasalubong even if the person has not yet returned. When one person goes to a distant land, they return carrying pasalubong with them. But in the case of the balikbayan box, it is sent to relatives and friends even if the person who sent it has not yet returned home,” Dr Castro said.

Overseas Filipino workers carry the heaviest pasalubong expectations having to compensate for their time away. Dr Tan writes, “When you travel a lot, as I used to, the pasalubong can become more of a tedious obligation rather than an act of generosity and joy. Because we feel obligated to bring something for everyone, we pick up whatever we can just to give something.”

Dr Racelis meanwhile notes the resentment felt by many OFWs at what appears to be excessive expectations from prospective recipients. She says that during their first trip home, OFWs are happy to share the benefits of working abroad and exemplifying their success by bringing extensive pasalubong. However, when this cuts down on their savings, the happy feeling may decline each time they return.

Image Sources: Wikimedia Commons

Text Sources: “Encyclopedia of World Cultures Volume 5: East/Southeast Asia:” edited by Paul Hockings, 1993; “Culture Shock!: Philippines” by Alfredo Roces and Grace Roces, Marshall Cavendish International, 2010; National Geographic, Live Science, Philippines Department of Tourism, New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Smithsonian magazine, Encyclopedia.com, Library of Congress, The Conversation, The New Yorker, Time, BBC, CNN, Reuters, Associated Press, AFP, Lonely Planet Guides, Google AI, Wikipedia, The Guardian and various websites, books and other publications.

Last updated March 2026