MARRIAGE IN BHUTAN
Age at first marriage: 25.4 for men and 22.8 for women (compared to 33.4 for men and 31.2 for women in Finland and 22.1 for men and 17.9 for women on Nepal) [Source: Wikipedia and Wikipedia ]
To get married, a certificate is required from the Court of Law. Legal Age for marriage: 18 for men and 18 for women. [Source: United Nations Data data.un.org]
The Bhutanese for the most part are monogamous. Polyandry (multiple husbands) was once practiced but was abolished except among a few small ethnic groups. Polygamy (multiple wives) has been restricted by law to a maximum of three wives per man provided the first wife grants her consent..
Most people in Bhutan marry within their own ethnic group. Until a few decades ago arranged marriages were common and many married among their relatives. In eastern Bhutan cross-cousin marriages were once common, however, this practice is now less common place. By the 1990s, more and more young couples were selecting their own partners. Now it seems love marriages are the norm. [Source: “Worldmark Encyclopedia of Cultures and Daily Life”, Cengage Learning, 2009; Tourism Council of Bhutan, tourism.gov.bt]
Whether a newly married couples moves in with the bride’s parents or the groom’s parents is often determined by who needs labor the most. If both families have sufficient labor the couple may strike out on their own with a new plot of land. In most of South Asia, the bride moves into her husband's household. In the Western Bhutan, it was commonplace that the husband goes to live in his wife’s house after marriage while the practice in Eastern Bhutan is for the wife to move into the husband’s home.
Interethnic marriages, once forbidden, were encouraged in the late 1980s by an incentive of a Nu10,000 government stipend to willing couples. The stipend was discontinued in 1991, however. Marriages of Bhutanese citizens to foreigners, however, have been discouraged. Bhutanese with foreign spouses were not allowed to obtain civil service positions and could have their government scholarships cancelled and be required to repay portions already received. Foreign spouses were not entitled to citizenship by right but had to apply for naturalization. [Source: Andrea Matles Savada, Library of Congress, 1991]
Child Marriages in Bhutan
Child marriages are not a big deal in Bhutan like they are in neighboring Nepal, India and Bangladesh. They were fairly common in Bhutan at one time. The marriage age was raised to 16 for women and 21 for men and then changed to 18 for both sexes.
According to the OECD Social Institutions and Gender Index: “Following the Marriage Amendment Act of 1996, the legal age for marriage is 18 years for both men and women. Despite the law, the Government reports show that both sexes engage in common-law marriages as early as the age of 15 years. 2007 Data from the UN shows that 14.3 percent of women 15-19 years old have been married. The national Bureau of Statistics (NBS) reports that early marriage is more prevalent in rural areas compared to urban areas in most parts of the country. According the NBS, 11 percent of females aged 15 to 19 have already begun childbearing. “The law states that marriages must be based upon mutual consent; however, the Government reports that some underage girls may be forced into the union by parents or other relatives. [Source: OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) Development Center, genderindex.org, 2014]
According to the Tahirih Justice Center: “Women and girls have the right to freely enter into and dissolve marriages in Bhutan, but may face family pressure about marriage decisions and be subject to customary practices such as early betrothal. There are no laws specifically criminalizing forced or child marriage. A legacy of widespread child marriage persists, with UNICEF’s most recent data reflecting a child marriage rate of 6.2 percent of the population married by age 15 and 25.8 percent married by age 18. Non-compliance with this minimum age is more prevalent in rural areas where birth certificates are nonexistent or not properly recorded, and registration of marriages is inconsistent. Women in these areas may also be at higher risk of forced marriages as they often lack access to information regarding the law and their rights. [Source: Tahirih Justice Center, 2021]
Women aged 20-24 years who were first married or in union by age 18: 26 percent
Proportion of women 20-24 years old who gave birth before age 18: 15 percent
Adolescent birth rate: 28.4 births per 1,000 women
[Source: United Nations, Department of Economic and Social Affairs, Statistics Division, genderstats.un.org ; UNICEF DATA data.unicef.org]
Polygamy and Polyandry in Bhutan
Polygamy (men marrying multiple wives) and polyandry (women marrying multiple husbands) are practiced by some groups in Bhutan. There were laws restricting polygamy to a maximum of three wives per man. After this law was enacted the Fourth King of Bhutan, Jigme Singye Wangchuck, married four sisters. Before taking a new wife a man was supposed to secure permission of the first wife., who was free to seek divorce and receive alimony for life.
Polyandry was abolished and polygamy was restricted in the mid-20th century. According to a law enacted in the 1990s man can have as many as three wives, providing he had the first wife's permission. The first wife also had the power to sue for divorce and alimony if she did not agree. [Source: Andrea Matles Savada, Library of Congress, 1991 *]
According to the OECD Social Institutions and Gender Index: Polygamy “may be in decline. The Government reported in 2003 that the practice is accepted in the south, some parts of western and central Bhutan, as well as among some nomadic communities in the north; however, in 2007 it noted that polygamy was becoming less popular due to socio-economic changes and increasing education. In 2010 the NBS reported that 5 percent of women between 15 and 49 years of age lived in a polygamous union. The Government reports that women remain primarily responsible for unpaid work in the family. [Source: OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) Development Center, genderindex.org, 2014]
Zann Huizhen Huang wrote in the Daily Bhutan: “Polyandry is still practised in Bhutan, Tibet, Nepal and pockets of India, particularly amongst the minority tribes living in the Himalaya region. An age-old practice that has gradually disappeared in some parts of the world, polyandry which means ‘many’ (poly) and ‘man’ (andros) in Greek, literally refers to a woman taking two or more husbands. This rare and unique form of marriage custom existed in some communities for centuries but has mostly faded in the past few decades. [Source: Zann Huizhen Huang, Daily Bhutan, February 29, 2020]
Why is polyandry practiced? “A system of union which most likely arose in populations where resources such as land and food were scarce, it could also possibly have been adopted as a way to address the issue of gender imbalance, that is, when there were more males than females. Interestingly, in almost all cases, the kind of polyandry which existed was fraternal or adelphic (brothers sharing one wife) as opposed to non-fraternal polyandry, where a few unrelated men share a wife.”
“Borne out of necessity due to specific geographical challenges such as a place’s remoteness or lack of tillable land, the practice of polyandry allows family wealth and land to remain intact and undivided. Having one woman married to a few brothers is a way to guarantee that their children would all inherit the pasture land and flocks together. Conversely, if every brother had married separately and produced children, land and other properties would have to be split, this can be impractical in environments where resources are scarce. Typically, the eldest brother usually dominates the household, and all the brothers are regarded as equal sexual partners of the shared wife.”
Polyandry Among the Brokpa
The Brokpas (Drogpas) are a semi nomadic community settled mainly in the two villages of Merak and Sakteng in eastern Bhutan. They mostly depend on yaks and sheep for their livelihood and do not typically grow crops due to the high altitude zones they inhabit. They speak a distinct dialect and have their own unique dress that is made of yak hair and sheep wool. The Brokpas retain some ancient customs and beliefs, which predate the introduction of Buddhism. The also live in Arunachal Pradesh, India. [Source: Tourism Council of Bhutan, tourism.gov.bt]
Zann Huizhen Huang wrote in the Daily Bhutan: In Bhutan, polyandry is still practised in the remote highlands of Laya as well as the Brokpa tribe living in Merak and Sakteng, district of Trashigang. Pertaining to Laya, which remains largely inaccessible due to its geographical isolation, practising fraternal polyandry enabled the sharing of responsibilities amongst the brothers. [Source: Zann Huizhen Huang, Daily Bhutan, February 29, 2020]
“According to Laya’s Gup, Lhakpa Tshering: “Laya was remote, detached and remained hidden in the mountains. Marrying an outsider was looked down upon. As a small and independent community, trust was important. People also preferred to live together as not many could afford to build a house of their own, so the custom of marrying more than one husband was common.” Fraternal polyandry allows for better distribution of duties between brothers, while one might be in charge of animal husbandry, another could be farming or travelling to other villages to barter goods. In Eastern Bhutan, Dechen Wangmo, is one among a few Brokpa women who is married to two husbands, who are brothers.
“The main reason is because being a highlander we need to rear animals. Initially I was married to the elder brother. But then I had to look after my aging parents. So I had to marry the younger brother too since there is no one to look after the animals. So far there is no problem with my marriage,” she said. Marriage ceremonies sometimes only involve the oldest brother and all the adult brothers. In the event that there are brothers who are still not of age, they may join the household later.
Polyandry is vanishing. “As the young are better educated, men tend to leave their villages to look for better jobs and opportunities elsewhere. Phurpa Zangmo of Merak felt that marriages based on mutual consent and affection is the preferred norm nowadays rather than polyandry: “Our Parents still want us to keep the tradition alive but I think differently. So we cannot fulfil their wishes. Even if our parents make arrangements, the marriage does not last for long.”
The improvement in the highlanders’ standard of living is also another contributing factor to the decline of polyandry which has somewhat outlived its usefulness. As Bhutan opened its doors to tourism, homestays became a viable source of income for the highlanders unlike in the past, the lack of provisions compelled some Layaps to marry multiple partners. Another catalytic factor is the legalisation of cordyceps collection in 2003. This lucrative trade changed the economic dynamics of these highlanders, prompting more women to settle for just one husband. No matter how far flung these places are in Bhutan, it seems that the Layaps and Brokpas cannot resist the tides of change.
Weddings in Bhutan
Most wedding are performed by a religious leader. Compared to often elaborate and expensive Hindu weddings, the weddings of Buddhist Bhutanese tend to be simple affairs and are usually kept low-key. However, elaborate rituals are performed for lasting unions between the bride and the bridegroom. As the religious ceremony comes to an end, parents, relatives and friends of the couple present the newlyweds with traditional offerings of scarves along with gifts in the form of cash and goods. [Source: Tourism Council of Bhutan, tourism.gov.bt]
A lama generally officiates over the religious ceremony. Offerings of chang (beer) are made to ghosts and spirits, and betel leaves, areca nuts, and fruits are given to the wedding guests. Food and entertainment are provided after the ceremony. [Source: “Worldmark Encyclopedia of Cultures and Daily Life”, Cengage Learning, 2009]
According to travelwithachallenge.com: In a traditional Bhutanese wedding, the man comes to the woman. The bride dressed in a kira, the traditional women’s garment, is brought to the weeding places in the morning. Guests arrive later in a procession with the groom, who was wearing a gho, the traditional men’s garment . After an initial celebrations in the courtyard, the actual marriage ceremony is held in a special prayer room, with a lama and several monks conducting the rites in the ancient formal manner. Traditional entertainment and lunch followed. at the farmhouse. When planning the wedding, it is necessary to consult with an astrologer to pick out an auspicious day and the best time to hold the ceremony. The procession features flags, horns, and sometimes horses. Guests present the bride and groom with khatas (white scarves) and gifts. [Source: travelwithachallenge.com
On wedding of a Bhutanese friend and her twin sister to twin brothers, Urvashi Sarkar wrote in The Hindi,The brides' house had a relaxed air with friends and relatives milling about, drinking hot cups of suja (butter tea), eating paan and even the brides looking unruffled and getting dressed at ease.” [Source: Urvashi Sarkar The Hindi, August 26, 2011]
Wedding of King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck
In October 2011, King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck married Jetsun Pema, a student and commoner 10 years younger than him, in a royal wedding that was biggest media event in Bhutan’s history. The ceremony was held in front of 300 or so Bhutanese VIPs. No foreign VIPs or royals from other places were invited.
The Telegraph reported: “The hugely popular king wed Jetsun Pema, the daughter of an airline pilot, in a colourful Buddhist ceremony at a 17th-century fortified monastery in the ancient capital of Punakha. Set between two rivers and accessible by footbridge, the stunning building contains the remains of a Tibetan holy man said to be the founder of modern Bhutan. Proceedings were beamed live across the staunchly royalist but isolated country of 700,000 people, who, decked out in national dress,” who marked “the occasion with dancing, singing and drinking over three days of public holiday. [Source: The Telegraph, October 12, 2011]
Adam Plowright of AFP wrote: “Organizers promised a low-key affair from a royal family that is famed for its common touch, but the Bhutanese” geared “up to mark a momentous occasion.” The fortress and monastery in Punakha is a giant building “ intricately decorated with wall paintings and carvings” and “spruced up for the occasion, with work in the gardens and fresh paint in evidence. “His Majesty has been consistent all along that the events should be simple and traditional. It’s how he operates in his own life,” royal spokesman Dorji Wangchuck said. “He has never been in favor of extravaganzas,” the spokesman said, adding that no foreign royals or heads of state had been invited. [Source: Adam Plowright, AFP, September 12, 2011]
Alistair Scrutton of Reuters wrote: “The ceremony was broadcast live. Thousands of people, dressed in traditional colored robes, stood outside. Some monks chanted, others hit drums, as white incense drifted through the morning mist. As the mist slowly lifted, Buddhist horns sounded across the Punakha valley as the bride arrived in a procession of singers, relatives and Buddhist monks across an ancient footbridge, all led by a white horse. Baby elephants guarded one of the fortress’s entrances. After his wedding, the king walked around thousands of many villagers who waited outside the fortress, patting children on the head and shaking hands in gestures unheard from previous monarchs. [Source: Alistair Scrutton, Reuters, October 13, 2011]
Wedding Ceremony of King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck
During the ceremony, the King also received the Crown of Druk Gyaltsuen (Queen) and bestowed it on Jetsun Pema, thus proclaiming her formally as the Queen of the Kingdom of Bhutan. Alistair Scrutton of Reuters wrote: Bhutan’s “Dragon King” married a young commoner in an ancient Himalayan monastic fortress, sipping a chalice of ambrosia symbolizing eternal life in a Buddhist wedding that has transfixed a reclusive kingdom slowly embracing globalization. King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck wore a crown adorned with a raven’s head during the sumptuous ceremony as 21-year-old student Jetsun Pema received a crown embroidered with silk. [Source: Alistair Scrutton, Reuters, October 13, 2011]
“The king and his father entered a sacred chamber holding the embalmed body of the 17th-century remains of Bhutan’s founder, where they received holy Buddhist scarves and a chalice of blessed curd that represents eternal life. The king’s father, accompanied by his four wives, handed the blessed colored scarves to a nervous-looking bride. “I am a very happy man today,” said Kesang Chopel, 41, a Buddhist saffron-robed monk who watched the couple’s arrival in Bhutan’s former ancient capital. “There is the king, and there are so many masters here, lamas. There is a special feeling.”
Simon Denyer wrote in the Washington Post: “In a small, private ceremony mixing Buddhist spirituality and medieval tradition, Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck solemnly placed an embroidered silk brocade crown on the head of his beautiful but slightly nervous-looking bride. He then sat back down on the Golden Throne and placed his Raven Crown on his own head, his new wife sitting to his left and a giant golden Buddha towering behind them.
“Earlier, in the most sacred part of the ceremony, the king, his father and the country’s chief abbot, the Je Khenpo, had sought the blessings of the Shabdrung Namgyel, a lama who unified the Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan in the 17th century and whose embalmed body is preserved in a small chamber within the fortress, or dzong. [Source: Simon Denyer, Washington Post, October 13, 2011
“Access to the chamber is so restricted that not even the royal bride was allowed to enter. Instead, she prayed and prostrated herself in an outer chamber before the king’s father emerged to place around her neck five scarves blessed by the Shabdrung, and presented her with a golden chalice containing curd that had been transformed into holy ambrosia. Later, the ceremony moved to the throne room where she prostrated herself before the king himself. She then presented him with the cup of ambrosia from which he sipped, before crowning her. Monks chanted blessings for the royal couple while long trumpets droned and offerings were made for their well-being and long life.
Enthusiasm and Celebrations Over 2011 Royal Wedding in Bhutan
Nomadic yak and animal herders, who spend of the year in the higher the mountains, joined and farmers dressed in ceremonial clothes who walked down from the hills and valleys to the fortress, where the royal wedding took place. “It's a big day for all Bhutanese," 32-year-old housewife Tshering Lhamo told The Telegraph. "Everyone loves the king and for my generation we have never seen a royal wedding before." [Source: The Telegraph, October 12, 2011]
Alistair Scrutton of Reuters wrote: Posters of the couple adorn almost every building, lamppost and roundabout in the capital, Thimphu, three hours drive away. School children have published poems in the queen’s honor, calling her “the moon, a beautiful heroine and the lotus flower. Monks have held dawn prayer sessions in remote mountain valleys and Bhutan’s airline has had to add extra flights to deal with the demand of visitors from abroad. [Source: Alistair Scrutton, Reuters, October 13, 2011]
Simon Denyer wrote in the Washington Post: The ceremony kicked off three days of celebration...In the afternoon, thousands of people gathered by the side of the white-walled dzong or fortress of Punakha, where the king was entertained by traditional dances. As usual, he spent much more time mingling with wedding guests and ordinary Bhutanese people than sitting still and listening to the entertainment.
The main celebration was held in Thimphu, three days after the official wedding and members of the public got the opportunity to glimpse the newlyweds in a ceremony at the city’s sports stadium, a spectacle that featured traditional dance and music. The Telegraph reported: Security is tight, with phone networks jammed and police enforcing strict controls on vehicles in a wide area surrounding the monastery. Two small bombs went off in a town on the border with India injuring four people, in attacks claimed by an insurgent group based in Nepal fighting for the rights of ethnic Nepalese in Bhutan. [Source: The Telegraph, October 12, 2011]
Divorce and Dowries in Bhutan
There is generally no brideprice or dowry or exchange of assets as part of a wedding or marriage. Divorce is permitted in Bhutan and carries no ignominy or disgrace. Compensation is required from the party seeking the separation. In the 1980s, divorce was common, and new laws provided better benefits to women seeking alimony.
According to the Tahirih Justice Center: Women and girls have the right to freely enter into and dissolve marriages in Bhutan. The Marriage Act recognizes various grounds for divorce, including abuse. Divorce can be initiated by either a man or a woman, and both men and women can remarry without social prejudice. Anecdotal sources indicate divorce is fairly commonplace in Bhutan and does not carry the stigma it does in many neighboring countries. [Source: Tahirih Justice Center, 2021]
According to the OECD Social Institutions and Gender Index: “While there is no information on parental authority during marriage, upon divorce the lawgrants custody of children under the age of nine years to the mother: a requirement that, as the Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) Committee has observed, may perpetuate the stereotype of women as primary caretakers. Children who are 9 years of age or older have the right to choose their custodian. [Source: OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) Development Center, genderindex.org, 2014]
“Bhutanese legislation on divorce is complex. However, women and men have the right to initiate divorce under the Marriage Act of 1980. In the case of adultery, the third party is obligated to pay the adulterous woman’s husband a compensation for the offence. Different rules apply when the husband commits adultery.
“The father is obliged to pay child support until the child reaches the age of 18. However, a 2007 survey found that only 14 percent of female single parent respondents said that they received some sort of financial support from the child’s father.
Image Sources: Wikimedia Commons
Text Sources: New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Lonely Planet Guides, Library of Congress, Tourism Council of Bhutan (tourism.gov.bt), National Portal of Bhutan, the Bhutan government’s main site (gov.bt), The Guardian, National Geographic, Smithsonian magazine, The New Yorker, Time, Reuters, Associated Press, AFP, Wikipedia and various books, websites and other publications.
Last updated February 2022