CUSTOMS, ETIQUETTE AND MANNERS IN BANGLADESH

CUSTOMS IN BANGLADESH

Customs, beliefs, norms and behavior tend to be more modern and Westernized in Dhaka. while those in rural and tribal areas tend to be more conservative.

According to the Bangladeshi government: Bangladeshis pride themselves on their tradition of hospitality to guests. Just a greeting of Salam Alaykum will get you far in endearing yourself to people. If you are travelling outside the big cities like Dhaka it is advisable to learn some basic Bangla.

Just respect and observe. Bangladesh is a conservative country and it is advisable for women to wear long skirts or pants in public (Bangladeshi women wear saris like Indian women). Dress codes for men are more lax although they should refrain from wearing shorts in public. As well, showing someone the sole of your feet or shoe is considered an insult, and can lead to you being considered disrespectful.

British customs such as tea time endure in some places. Cricket is the most popular sport. Some upper class Bangladeshis send their children to exclusive boarding schools in Britain and hope they can get into Oxford or Cambridge.

Greetings, Titles and Names in Bangladesh

Differences in age and status are marked through language conventions. Individuals with higher status are not addressed by personal name; instead, a title or kinship term is used. Various honorifics and family names are used. The family name can be first or last. Names often indicate caste, religion and home region. Many rural people use only one name. "Khan" is a title of respect. It is better to refer to people by their surnames.

Men of equal status generally shake hands when greeting one another. Men do not grasp hands firmly. Respect is expressed after a handshake by placing the right hand over the heart. Among the middle and upper classes men and women shake hands. As a rule women don't shake hands with other women. Close friends and family members sometimes hug one another, and women kiss each others. If you are unsure what to do when you meet a women let her make the first move. [Source: “The Traveler's Guide to Asian Customs and Manners” by Elizabeth Devine and Nancy L. Braganti]

Many Bangladeshi use a salaam style greeting which involves a weak handshake with the right hand followed by putting the right hand on the heart. Some Bangladeshi use an "Namaste"-like greeting. The namaste is an Indian-style greeting in which people touch their hands prayer-style in front of their face and touch their forehead as a sign of respect. Best to avoid anything associated with India in Bangladesh though.

Muslims greet each other with the greeting, “Salaam Aley Kum” (Peace be upon you). The response is: “Wa Aleykum As-Salaam” (Unto you also peace). When greeting someone, use titles like "Dr." or "Prof." if a person has one. Otherwise use "Mr.," "Mrs.," or "Miss. If you don't a person's name you can say “sahib” (meaning "Sir") or “begum” (for women). Never use first names.

According to “Countries and Their Cultures”: Men and women do not shake hands with each other. In same-sex conversation, touching is common and individuals may stand or sit very close. The closer individuals are in terms of status, the closer their spatial interaction is. Leave-taking is sealed with the phrase Khoda Hafez. [Source: “Countries and Their Cultures”, The Gale Group Inc., 2001]

Public Customs in Bangladesh

Women and men don't display affection in public. This should be avoided at all costs. Men should never touch a woman in public. In some places, it has traditionally been considered respectful for men and women to maintain a distance of one meter from one another. Men often hold hands with other men, especially when engaged in a deep conversation. Women also hold hands. If you see two men or two women holding hands, they are probably friends, siblings or cousins. It doesn’t; mean they are gay.

Bangladeshis are not big on waiting in lines (queuing).Neat orderly lines are hard to find. In banks, post offices and telephone offices, people often butt in line and aggressively try to get to the counter first. There is often a lot of pushing and jostling on public transportation. In crowded public places such as train stations, post offices, bazaars, receiving service is dependent on pushing and maintaining one's place within the throng.

Staring is not considered impolite. Try to stay calm even in the most unnerving situations. Displays of anger are frowned upon. Avoid yes or no question. People will often tell you what you want to hear rather than tell you the unpleasant truth. When foreigners ask for directions, a group often forms and a passionate discussions ensures on the best route.

1) Direct eye contact is often considered rude among people of different status. 2) ) Don' eat while walking down the street. It is considered rude and inconsiderate to people who might be hungry and can not afford to eat. 3) Don’t blow your nose in public. 4) Showing someone the sole of your feet or shoe is very rude. 5) Show respect towards elders.

Mosque Customs

Mosques and shrines are often not open to non-Muslims. Those that do welcome them expect them to be appropriately dressed: no shorts, short skirts, revealing halter tops or exposed shoulders. Mosques that allow women often require them to at least wear a head scarf. Some require them to cover their entire bodies, except the face, hands and feet, and not wear trousers. Sometimes mosque provide women who don’t have one with a head scarf. Sometimes they have robes for men wearing shorts.

The Muslim faithful are expected to remove their shoes and wash their feet in a sacred basin before they enter the mosque. If no water is available Muslims are supposed to wash themselves with sand. Foreigner visitors s can usually get away with just removing their shoes and are not required to wash their feet. In any case, make sure you feet or socks are clean. Dirty feet in a mosques are regarded as an insult to Islam. In large mosques you remove your shoes and place them on a shelf with a number.

Inside a mosque don't walk in front of someone who is praying, don't touch the Quran, never sit or stand on a prayer rug and never place a Quran on the floor or put anything on top of it. Also, don't cross your legs in front of an older people and don't step over someone who is sitting down Show respect, remain quiet and stay out of the way. Taking photographs is frowned upon.

Women Customs in Bangladesh

The traditions governing the behavior of women is known as “purdah” and is very similar to a code of the same name used by Hindu women in India. It involves covering the body and face and segregating from males.

Purdah has traditionally been regard as a middle class and upper class custom, indicating that families were well off enough so women did not have to work and that her male relatives could take of her and protect her. Many women prefer purdah. Not having it means they have to work.

Sometimes men and women are segregated on buses, trains and boats. Sometimes there are separate lines for men and women. In some places, especially tribal areas, men should not touch women or even look at them.

In many places, men and women are segregated and women lives have two components. Their private household one and their public one outside the home. Inside the home they can dress as they please and associate with male relatives. The home is regarded as the women’s realm and specific areas are set aside for men to meet with male visitors. Outside the home they are supposed to be chaperoned by a male relative.

Often in mosques, buses and trains there are separate areas for men and women. Women should not visit mosques on Friday, it is considered rude. Segregation is not so pronounced in village life because much of the agriculture and field work is done by women.

Women are not supposed to have eye contact or speak formally with men. When meeting strange man out of necessity, say at a market, the inaction should be as short as possible. Women should never wink. It is regarded as flirting.

Social Customs in Bangladesh

Bangladeshis are very welcoming and willing to chat with strangers. All you have to do is introduce yourself. They extend al kinds of invitations and are very hospitable. If you want to decline don't say no directly say you are doing something else. [Source: The Traveler's Guide to Asian Customs & Manners by Elizabeth Devine and Nancy L. Braganti]

Sometimes middle-class Bangladeshi men and women socialize together. But in most social situations men hang with men and women with women and children. In many homes men often eat together in one room and women and children eat together in a different room.

Good conversation topics include family, cricket, food, arts and crafts, and places. When talking about family, better to talk about children rather than wives and husbands. Topics to avoid include Israel, terrorism, tribal groups and politics. Never say anything bad Mohammed, Islam or Muslims. Do not make jokes about religion, women, sex, or alcohol.

All visitors are expected to stay for a glass of water, spoonful of molasses, piece of betel nut (areca nut), or a pipe of tobacco called a “hukka”. Equals of the same sex show sincerity by looking each other in the eye while talking. When talking to someone who’s older or of higher social standing you would look down to show respect.

People often ask personal questions almost immediately after meeting. They ask questions about marriages, and sometimes ask how much money you earn. This is sometimes don to size you up and work out the most respectful way to communicate with you. People you just met often will ask for address. It is considered rude to refuse. It is best to give a vague address or even a false one if you expect to never see the person again. Bangladeshis are often not very punctual. Even so they often expect foreigners to be. During conversations they are used to long silences.

Gestures in Bangladesh

Bangladeshis are very expressive. They use a lot of hand gestures. Sometimes Bangladeshis twist their wrist with palms open. This means, "How it going?" or "What's happening." Clasped hands are an expression of submission. Touching the ears is considered an indication of sincerity or repentance. The thumbs up gesture is obscene. In Bangladesh it is the equivalent to the upraised middle finger. When counting, the pinkie is one, the thumb is five. Counting is done by bringing fingers down. Smiling and repeatedly touched one’s forehead is a gesture of thanks.

When Bangladeshis agree with you or say yes they don't nod their head up and down they tilt it sideways. As is true with other South Asians, Bangladeshis wobble their head in a way that is strange to Westerns to indicate “yes.” In northern Bangladesh, people twist their head sideways more while people in southern Bangladesh seem to move their head from side to side and up and down at the same time in a fluid motion. Many foreigners think they are going “no.” The twisted head gesture has many purposes. It can mean “okay,” “sounds good” or it indicates that a person is listening and paying attention. In Bangladesh, “nodding also means “yes” and a clear up side to side shaking means “no.”

Don't gesture by pointing with your finger. Bangladeshis often point using their chin or eyes. When beckoning someone don't use your finger; face your palm downward and move your fingers, together, back and forth. Don’t whistle or wink. Whistling is something you do to beckon an animal. Winking is associated with flirting. These are regarded as vulgar gestures. Don’t fold your hands. This is regarded as arrogant. Don’t cross your legs. It is considered dirty to show the show the soles of your feet. See Head and Feet below

Personal space between friends is small but bigger between people of different status. When accepting or giving something, you should use your right hand. The left hand is considered dirty. The taboo of using the left hand is especially strong in places where people eat with their hands. See Eating Customs, Toilets, Hygiene

Don speak with your hands on your hips (regarded as aggressive) or your hands in your pocket (implying you’re not interested). American-style waving hello is often interpreted as “I am leaving”. In its rudest sense it can mean go away. A raised little finger means I need to go to bathroom. Usually kids use it.

Head and Feet in Bangladesh

Among many people in South Asia and Southeast Asia, the head is considered the highest and most sacred point of the body, both literally and figuratively, and the bottoms of the feet are lowest, least sacred and dirtiest part of the body.

It is considered rude to point your foot at a person or a sacred object. Pointing your foot at someone is like saying you are the lowest, dirtiest creature on earth. Also don't expose the soles of your feet. Never put your feet on a table or couch. When sitting on the floor keep you legs crossed do tucked under you so air no not to point your foot at anyone. When sitting in a chair don’t cross you legs. Don’t push anything to anyone with your feet. Don’t step over someone or a special object that is on the floor. Apologize if your feet accidently touch something, particularly a person.

Because the feet are considered the dirtiest part of the body a great effort is made to avoid steeping over someone, food, utensils and sacred books. It is much more polite to ask someone to move than to step over them. If you accidently touch someone with your feet you can touch your hand to their feet or make a gesture that implies that you apologize. If your foot touches a book, you should apologize by touching the book with your right hand’s finger tips, then touch your chest, then your lips.

Don't pat a child on the head. Patting the head is disrespectful. Many South Asians carry good luck charms in their shirt pockets instead of their pants pockets, because the higher up you go on the body the more evolved it is.

Home Customs in Bangladesh

Bangladeshis often invite strangers into their homes. Home customs vary from place to place. In many places homes are segregated. Even when they are not men tend to hang out with men and women hang out with women. As a general rule don't enter the kitchen or wander round the house. Bangladeshis are known for making vague invitations and saying “drop by anytime.” People sometimes drop by unannounced. [Source: The Traveler's Guide to Asian Customs & Manners by Elizabeth Devine and Nancy L. Braganti]

It is customary to remove one's shoes or sandals when entering a private home or mosque. In homes raised off the ground, shoes or sandals are left at the stairs. Otherwise they left outside the doorway. Sometimes they are placed to the side of the door. Don't have holes in your socks. Sometimes there are bathroom slippers, which people are expected to use when using the bathroom..

Guests are often invited into a special room. They are not supposed to wander around. There are generally some rooms for women that are off limits to non-family members.

Visitors are always asked to sit, and if no chairs are available, a low stool or a bamboo mat is provided. It is considered improper for a visitor to sit on the floor or ground. It is expected for the host to offer guests something to eat.

Many upper-class and middle-class homes have servants. They include nannies, cooks, and cleaning staff. Treat them all with respect. To do otherwise is considered rude not only to them but also to their employers. At the same time don’t be shocked if your host orders the servants around to do things they could easily do themselves. Don’t offer to help; servants are expected to do that.

Sweets, flowers or fruit or something from your country are common gifts. Don't give pork or alcohol. People usually don't open their gifts in the presence of giftgivers. Gifts of money with odd numbers are thought to be auspicious. Moving into a new house is an occasion worthy of celebrating with a party.

Eating Customs in Bangladesh

Meals are often huge gathering with a dozen or more people, including uncles, aunts, cousins, friends. In many homes men eat together in one room and women and children eat together in a different room. Food is typically eaten with the right hand by mixing curry or stew into the rice and then gathering portions with the fingertips and placing them in the mouth. In city restaurants that cater to foreigners, people may use silverware. Before the meal, the right hand is washed with water above the eating bowl. With the clean knuckles of the right hand the interior of the bowl is rubbed, the water is discarded, and the bowl is filled with food. After the meal, one washes the right hand again, holding it over the emptied bowl.

Bangladeshis eat sitting at a table and sitting on the floor. Eating customs vary from place to place, income level to income level, religion to religion and caste to caste. People often sit on the floor when they eat. Peasants sometimes sit outside when they eat. In Westernized household people are more likely to eat at a table. People wash their hands before a meal in the washroom or from water-filled bowls. [Source: The Traveler's Guide to Asian Customs & Manners by Elizabeth Devine and Nancy L. Braganti]

A typical meal may include a dozen or more dishes. Different dishes, such as meat, lentils, rice, vegetables and bread, are placed in different bowls and served from a tray called a thalis. With guests, Bangladeshis typically offer them lots of food. It is not considered rude to leave food on your plate. At the end of a meal, guests may be served tea or fruit, which should not be refused. One should at least take a taste.

Dutch treat is not common. If someone invites you to dinner at a restaurant they generally pay. You are expected to return the gesture if someone invites to their home or out to a restaurant. force food on guests.

Sometime foreign guests are provided with utensils when other people are eating with their hands. When Bangladeshis eat with a knife and fork they tend to eat British-style. The spoon is used more than other utensils. Bangladeshis generally wash their hands carefully before meal. There are often no napkins served at the table. After the meal is over guests are given a towel and expected to wash up at a sink.

Eating at an Bangladeshi Home

When Bangladeshis invite guests to a meal, they usually invite them to their home rather than go out to a restaurant. It is considered an insult to the guests and the wife to go out. Bangladeshis like to eat late and entertain before a meal. At dinner parties the main is often not served until 11:00pm or midnight. Meals are often buffets and guests leave immediately after eating. The meal indicates the event is over. Socializing is done before. Guests often arrive at around 8:00pm or 9:00pm. If someone invites you too meal or to their house it is considered rude to turn them down.

Bangladeshis are very hospitable and often insist that their guests eat a lot. Refusal to eat is regarded as refusal of hospitality friendship. At least try something. You can indicate you are finished by putting your fork and spoon in the middle of your plate. If there are no utensils you can indicate you have finished by eating everything on your plate and sitting back in a relaxed position or getting up and washing your hands.

At some homes a guest is served while everyone else sits around and watches. Often the men eat first, with women and foreign guests being included among them, while the women serve them. At dinner parties, dishes are served by the host or hostess or servants. It is considered rude to help yourself. Muslims often eat communally from the same bowl or plate.

Westerners are often offered forks, spoons and knives. When Bangladeshis eat with Western utensils they usually eat British-style with their spoon in their right hand and fork in their left hand and push food with the fork onto the spoon and eat with their right hand using the spoon. People help themselves to food from serving dishes, with serving spoons, in the middle of the table.

Eating With Your Hands

Bangladeshis often eat with their hands, handling the food with right hand. Many Bangladeshis eat food with their hands. Some restaurants don't have any utensils at all to give their patrons. Instead each table comes with a water pitcher that is used to clean the hands after the meal. As a rule, Bangladeshis eat with their right hand. The left hand is kept clean and sometimes used for things like holding a glass and passing dishes to others. Some people also pass things with their right hand. When in doubt watch what other people do first and try to avoid a situation in which you need to pass something when you right hand is covered with food from eating.

Bangladeshis mix rice with dahl or curry on their plate and place it in their mouth. Some ball it up and throw in the mouth. Others mash it and slurp it from their hand. Bangladeshis have been observed not only licking their fingers but also licking their arms up to their elbows.

Some Bangladeshis eat with only first the two joints of their fingers, not their entire hands. Others make sure their sleeves are rolled up and eat with their entire hand. In some places meals come with chapatis (pancake-like bread) that is used to scoop up the food which is usually something that resembles stew. In the other places, meals come with rice and a number gravy-like and stewlike dishes in bowls. You mix a little bit of stewlike dish with the rice and make a ball which you then eat.

Bangladeshis believe that eating with your hands gives you the feel of the food and eating with a spoon or fork adds a metallic taste to the food. One cooking teacher said, "Using your fingers—not knives or forks—you can enjoy dining much more. Brushing beans and tearing off a piece of chapati with your fingers adds to the enjoyment of the meal. In doing so, you are not able to only smell and taste, but also to feel the food."

Muslims have traditionally used their left "dirty" hand to take care of wiping their dirty butt and other "unclean" bodily functions. As a result, they never eat or touch someone with their left hand. People always eat with their right hand even if they are left-handed.

Drinking Customs in Bangladesh

Islam prohibits the consumption of alcohol. A lot of Muslims drink but they are either very secretive about it and just do it occasionally. In Muslim countries that have alcohol prohibitions alcoholic drinks are generally available at hotels with Western customers. Sometimes alcohol is offered to Western guests by Westernized Bangladeshis.

Tea is often served to guests and enjoyed during breaks. A lot of socializing revolves around drinking tea. Many people drink milk tea served in small cups. Muslim law and tradition even describe how a person should drink tea: three slow sips, not blowing on the tea, but waiting for it to cool naturally. Sometimes tea is spilled into a saucer to symbolize generosity of a host.

When drinking with a group in a party style atmosphere it is customary to pour drinks for other people not yourself. When drinking from a communal container or glass don't touch your lips to the container or glass. As a rule women are discouraged from drinking with males and smoking.

Bathing and Bathroom Customs in Bangladesh

Many Bangladeshis prefer squat toilets. They don’t like Western toilets for health reasons. Squat toilets often have a bucket with a scoop for flushing. Nonflush latrines are banned in many states, bit these rules are clearly not enforced.

Bangladeshis often don’t use toilet paper. They clean themselves using water and their left hand and thoroughly wash themselves every time they go to the bathroom. Some Bangladeshis are appalled that Westerners wipe their butts with paper only.

In much of rural Bangladesh there are not toilets, people take of their business in fields. Salman Rushdie wrote in the New Yorker, "The absence of simple toilet facilities obliges millions of women to control their natural functions so that they can relive themselves under cover of darkness. Saris worn with underpants make it possible for many women to relieve themselves on the side of a road in a field without compromising modesty.

In homes toilets and showers are often in separate rooms. Sometimes only cold water is available for showers. Some people take two or three showers a day because of the humidity. Men and women often bath and shower outside while wearing clothing. People often wash their feet when they wash their hands.

Clothing Customs in Bangladesh

Men in Bangladesh, especially in urban areas, wear western style clothing. Men in rural villages wear a lungi (a circular piece of cloth knotted at the waist and extending to the ankles) with a genji (like an undershirt). Some men wear white religious clothing called pajama (a western pajama bottom) and a panjabi (like a knee-length pajama top). Women wear a traditional saree, a long piece of cloth wrapped around the body in a special way. Women don’t wear pants, and adults don’t wear shorts.

Bangladeshi are reasonably tolerant people and almost any clothing style is acceptable. Some Bangladeshi dress smartly and fashionably. Others dress in jeans or shabby clothes. Bangladeshi men generally don't wear shorts. They wear long pants even in the hot weather. It is generally unacceptable for foreigners to wear shorts too. Don't wear clothes with holes or go without a shirt.

Women usually wear a head scarf or some sort of head covering. It is often more important to keep the shoulders covered than the midriff area. Women in jeans or short skirts are seen in the cities but may offend some people in the countryside. Keep in mind also that shorts, exposed shoulders and short skirts are regarded unacceptable in mosques.

Dress properly in mosques and temples. No baseball caps and the items mentioned above. Some mosques and temples require women to cover their head and arms and men must war slacks. Off the beaten track women should wear long dresses and cover their arms. Men should also wear long pants. At beach resorts, shorts and T-shirts are acceptable.

Image Sources: Wikimedia Commons

Text Sources: New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Lonely Planet Guides, Library of Congress, Bangladesh Tourism Board, Bangladesh National Portal (www.bangladesh.gov.bd), The Guardian, National Geographic, Smithsonian magazine, The New Yorker, Time, Reuters, Associated Press, AFP, Wikipedia and various books, websites and other publications.

Last updated February 2022


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