SEXUAL PRACTICES IN INDONESIA: PREMARITAL, ORAL, APHRODISIACS, SURVEYS

SEXUAL PRACTICES IN INDONESIA

Premarital sex and its contributing factors in high-risk Indonesian adolescents: an observational study, 2021 tandfonline

Practices of intimacy differ widely across the archipelago. Kissing on the mouth, for example, is relatively recent in many regions and not universally practiced. The word cium, meaning “to kiss,” traditionally refers more to smelling or gently pressing one’s face to another, as in greetings among family members. Other forms of affection, such as nose-rubbing, may serve both as expressions of closeness and as part of romantic interaction. [Source: Jill Forshee, “Culture and Customs of Indonesia”, Greenwood Press, 2006]

Sexual activity itself is often described as brief, and only in recent times has broader discussion of female pleasure and orgasm become more common. With the spread of global media and the internet, ideas about sexuality are evolving, particularly among men. However, given Indonesia’s immense cultural diversity, practices and attitudes toward sex vary greatly, and in some regions, understandings of intimacy may be far more nuanced and sophisticated than outsiders assume.

In certain isolated communities, particularly those with a greater number of men than women, customs have developed that allow for the temporary sharing of spouses. In these cases, a man may spend a short period with another man’s wife, after which she returns to her husband. This practice reflects social adaptations to demographic imbalances rather than purely personal relationships. [Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute]

A common psychological problem for males with a sexual dysfunction is a feeling of inferiority with regard to their partner. This feeling is often what brings males to seek treatment. Women with problems, on the other hand, tend to hide their sexual problems and feel shy about seeking treatment. Many married women never have orgasm and never tell their husbands. At the same time, many husbands are unaware or do not even suspect that their wives never have orgasm. Diagnosis and treatment for sexual dysfunctions are available in only a few clinics. Infertility when impotency is not present, is often attributed to the woman. If a woman is known to be fertile—such as from a previous marriage—infertility may lead to marital conflict or divorce.

Sexual Norms and Experimentation for Indonesia

Sexual norms and practices in Indonesia are shaped strongly by context, region, and cultural background. In Java, ideals influenced by ascetic traditions encourage modesty and restraint. Sexual activity is often conducted discreetly, sometimes even with partners remaining partially clothed and in darkness, reflecting a broader cultural reserve regarding the body. Even so, such models have not been uniformly adopted across the country. [Source: Jill Forshee, “Culture and Customs of Indonesia”, Greenwood Press, 2006]

Despite outward modesty, conversations about sex do occur, especially in same-sex settings. Women, in particular, may openly joke about sexual experiences and discuss pleasure, often using metaphors—referring to body parts and acts through imagery such as fruits or flowering. Across many regions, informal relationships and extramarital encounters are not uncommon, and sexuality can be approached with a degree of openness beneath the surface of public restraint.

Same-sex experimentation has also long been present, particularly among youth, where it is often regarded as a temporary phase rather than a fixed identity. Physical closeness between same-sex friends—such as holding hands, embracing, or sleeping side by side—is socially accepted and not necessarily associated with sexual identity. At the same time, public displays of affection between men and women remain limited.

Sex Survey Data for Indonesia From the 2020s

Survey data on sexuality in Indonesia from the early 2020s describe a complex and often contradictory environmental, where strong religious and cultural norms coexist with changing behaviors—especially among younger generations in major cities. While premarital sex remains widely regarded as taboo, a growing body of research shows that a notable proportion of adolescents are nonetheless engaging in it. [Source: Asia-Pacific Journal of Public Health 2022, Vol. 34 (2–3), Sage Journals]

Among Indonesian youth, the average age of first sexual experience is at 18.5 years of age, with initiation most commonly occurring around age 17. Studies illustrate a wideפער between attitudes and behavior. For example, research conducted in Bandung found that 8.3 percent of adolescents aged 15–19 reported having had sexual intercourse, while larger proportions reported other forms of sexual experience, including petting (25.8 percent) and masturbation (23.3 percent). In contrast, surveys conducted in more urbanized regions such as Jabodetabek suggest significantly higher levels of premarital sex, with one study indicating that 37 percent of unmarried women had engaged in sexual intercourse.

A range of social and behavioral factors shapes these patterns. Sexual risk-taking among youth has been linked to limited refusal skills, peer influence, and the use of substances such as alcohol and drugs. Motivations for sexual activity vary, with curiosity (40.6 percent) and expressions of love (38.3 percent) being the most frequently cited reasons, though a concerning 17.2 percent reported experiences involving coercion from a partner.

Research into sexual wellbeing of 10-14 year old’s in Indonesia: Using data from over 4,000 young Indonesians who took part in the Global Early Adolescence Study funded by the Gates Foundation, the team analysed sexual wellbeing from a broad perspective; It included questions on gender attitudes, sexual literacy, comfort with pubertal development, and understanding consent; Key findings from this research showed that; while young adolescents in Indonesia score high on some aspects of sexual wellbeing, misconceptions, feelings of guilt and uncertainties related to sexuality are common, with clear gender differences Rutgers University

Access to sexual health information has expanded, though its sources vary in reliability. In Bandung, 84.2 percent of adolescents reported having received some form of sexual education, with the internet serving as the primary source for 44.2 percent of respondents. At the same time, public health data points to ongoing challenges: a 2017 study found that 14.32 percent of women reported having experienced sexually transmitted infections (STIs), with higher prevalence among younger נשים and in regions such as North Maluku and North Sumatra. Among men who have sex with men (MSM), STI prevalence was reported at 20.9 percent in 2019.

Despite these behavioral trends, conservative attitudes toward sexuality remain deeply entrenched. Surveys show that 98.7 percent of respondents agree that women should remain virgins before marriage, underscoring the persistence of strong social taboos. At the same time, Indonesia has been noted in some global comparisons for relatively high levels of reported sexual satisfaction. However, issues of sexual violence remain significant: a 2022–2023 survey found that 88 percent of reported campus-related cases involved harassment, with 27 percent occurring within universities.

Regional differences exist. Studies from 2021 to 2023 indicate that areas such as Maluku and Papua show higher rates of early sexual initiation, while urban centers like Jakarta tend to report higher rates of premarital sexual activity.

Sexual Behavior of the Orang Rimba

The Orang Rimba are an animist forest peoples who inhabit the lowland rainforests of southeastern Sumatra, mainly in Jambi Province. Immediately after marriage, a couple will share the same shelter. However, sexual relations often do not begin right away. In many cases, the wife requires time to overcome fear and discomfort associated with intimacy. Years of social separation from males may have instilled a strong sense of embarrassment toward men and her own sexuality, especially in cases of early marriage. As a result, it may take one to three years before a newly married woman feels comfortable engaging in sexual intercourse. [Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute \^/]

At times, couples may temporarily live apart from the main group for the purpose of conception. This is particularly common in polygamous households, where privacy helps avoid provoking jealousy among co-wives. Because shelters are typically simple and lack walls, couples generally engage in sexual activity discreetly at night, either when others are asleep or at a distance from the group. After children are born, intimacy is further restricted to times when children are asleep or too young to be aware. Cultural norms also prohibit children over the age of five or six from sleeping with their mothers, which helps ensure a degree of privacy for the couple.

In most cases, the husband initiates sexual activity, and the wife is not expected to refuse, especially in polygamous arrangements where time is shared among multiple wives. However, when a man holds a subordinate position within his wife’s family, the woman may exercise greater authority, including the ability to refuse or negotiate intimacy. In marriages between close relatives, such as first cousins, a stronger personal rapport may develop, allowing for more mutual understanding and cooperation.

Traditional sexual practices are relatively limited in variation. Acts such as fellatio and cunnilingus are not part of customary behavior. Intercourse typically occurs with the man positioned above the woman. Kissing, as commonly understood in Western contexts, is generally absent; instead, intimacy may involve smelling or gently pressing the face or nose against a partner. This form of contact is also used by parents when caring for infants and young children. Male same-sex behavior has occasionally been reported among adolescents and young adults, though it is considered rare and is virtually unheard of among married men. Information regarding female same-sex behavior is scarce.

Premarital Sex in Indonesia

premarital sex is being practiced by a number of teenagers in Indonesia, even at the early ages of 15-19

Premarital sexual activity has traditionally been considered taboo in Indonesia, with parents and older generations generally opposing any form of sexual behavior before marriage. However, in recent decades, attitudes among adolescents have shifted. Studies in several Indonesian cities indicate a growing trend of young people engaging in premarital activities such as kissing, touching, and, in some cases, sexual intercourse.[Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute \^/]

These behaviors are no longer limited to urban areas. Similar patterns have emerged in rural and suburban communities, where differences between city and village youth in terms of sexual attitudes and behavior have become minimal. Despite this shift, young people remain aware of social disapproval and typically conceal their activities from parents and elders. At the same time, changing family dynamics often allow adolescents more unsupervised time with partners, creating opportunities for such relationships to develop.

Self-pleasuring is a relatively common behavior among single adults, despite being discouraged by prevailing religious and moral values. Sexual relationships between unmarried men and women are also generally considered taboo. Nevertheless, available data suggest that many couples engage in sexual relations prior to marriage. A 1991 study by Wimpie Pangkahila reported that approximately 53 percent of urban couples had premarital sexual experience, while another unpublished study of rural pregnant women indicated a rate of about 27 percent. [Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute \^/]

These figures are believed to have increased in recent years, reflecting more liberal attitudes toward relationships among both adults and adolescents. The phrase “the other man” or “the other woman” has become increasingly common, indicating a growing social awareness—and, in some cases, acceptance—of extramarital relationships. In addition, many single adult men seek sexual contact through prostitution, which exists across Indonesia in both legal and informal forms. Services are available at a wide range of economic levels, from low-cost to high-end establishments.

Adolescent Sex in Indonesia

Sexual exploration and “rehearsal play” are common aspects of childhood development among some groups in Indonesia. However, many parents react with concern, fearing that such behaviors indicate abnormality or could lead to problems later in life. As a result, some parents seek professional advice, even bringing their children to psychologists to determine whether the behavior reflects actual sexual activity. [Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute \^/]

These concerns often carry into adolescence. Some young people worry that early childhood experiences may have affected their virginity and seek reassurance, sometimes visiting clinics for confirmation. Others turn to newspaper advice columns to ask questions about childhood sexual behavior and its implications.

UNFPA has expanded its outreach to include not only adolescents but also parents, policymakers, and community leaders. Campaigns emphasize messages such as “Having sex before marriage is not appropriate among youth,” while also promoting responsible relationships and the importance of accurate sexual knowledge. These efforts use a variety of media, including newspapers, question-and-answer booklets, leaflets, posters, and broadcasts on radio and television, to better inform young people and address the challenges associated with changing sexual norms.

Various observation, often conflicting, were made about the sexual activity of children and adolescents. in the past L.W.C. van den Berg (1895) wrote:“children surrender themselves to the sexual passions even before maturity, and coitus between brothers and sisters aged 5 to 6 is no rarity”. This seems to be interesting given the observation that girls are “[…] often betrothed at birth and married at six [years?], although they remain with their parents” Sumner, 1906). Smith and Wiswell (1982) sketch a childhood sexuality in Suye Mura characterisable as expressive and joking. Vatter (1932) said: No specific instruction on sexual matters seems to take place. Premature sexual intercourse among children is said to be rare; we have occasionally observed sexual misbehavior between young boys, but they were reprimanded by older children or adults, perhaps out of consideration for our presence. [Source: “Growing Up Sexually, Volume” I by D. F. Janssen, World Reference Atlas, 2004]

Adolescent Sexual Practices in Indonesia

Among adolescents, alternative sexual practices such as oral sex have become increasingly common. These are often perceived as lower-risk options, allowing young people to avoid pregnancy while maintaining physical markers associated with virginity. In some cases, anal sex is also practiced for similar reasons. These behaviors reflect attempts to navigate between traditional expectations and evolving personal choices. [Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute \^/]

However, these changes in behavior have not been matched by increased access to accurate sexual education. Many adolescents have questions about their experiences but hesitate to seek answers due to negative reactions from older generations, who often consider such topics inappropriate. As a result, limited knowledge contributes to a range of challenges, including guilt, anxiety, unintended pregnancies, abortion, and the spread of sexually transmitted infections.

In response to rising concerns—particularly increased teenage pregnancy rates in the 1990s—the Indonesian government began exploring ways to incorporate sexuality education into school curricula, such as biology classes. Non-governmental organizations, with support from the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), have also developed peer education programs to provide young people with reproductive health information and services.

In certain ethnic groups, particularly in more remote or traditional communities, adolescence is marked by ritual ceremonies. For girls, the onset of menstruation is often accompanied by a formal rite that signals their transition into adulthood and readiness for marriage. These ceremonies vary widely across Indonesia’s diverse cultural landscape.

In some regions, rituals surrounding male adolescence also exist. In parts of East Nusa Tenggara, for example, boys who undergo traditional circumcision have been expected to “practice” sexual intercourse afterward, sometimes with sex workers. This practice carries significant health risks, particularly when performed before healing is complete, increasing the likelihood of sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. Today, however, such practices have largely declined and are no longer common in most modern areas of Indonesian society.

Oral and Anal Sex in Indonesia

Fellatio and cunnilingus are becoming increasingly common among younger Indonesians, often viewed as alternatives to vaginal intercourse. Cunnilingus, in particular, is sometimes preferred because it does not affect the hymen, which many still regard as a sign of virginity. Anal sex, however, remains relatively uncommon. [Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute \^/]

Despite this growing practice, such behaviors are not widely accepted in mainstream social or moral discourse. Many Indonesians continue to view fellatio, cunnilingus, and anal sex as inappropriate or sinful, rather than as normal forms of sexual expression. Nonetheless, these practices do occur, sometimes outside of marriage.

Some men seek out prostitutes specifically for fellatio, particularly when their wives are unwilling to engage in it. Similarly, some women may enjoy receiving cunnilingus but are reluctant to perform fellatio for their partners. At the same time, there are couples who incorporate both practices into their regular sexual relationships.

Among the younger generation, these behaviors are becoming more normalized, both as alternatives to intercourse and as forms of foreplay. Exposure to such practices is often linked to media influences, including pornographic films and videos, which shape evolving attitudes and behaviors regarding sexuality.

Masturbation in Indonesia

Autoerotic behavior is common among children during early stages of psychosexual development. While some parents observe their children engaging in self-stimulation, many react with concern, fearing that such behavior is abnormal. These reactions often stem from misunderstanding rather than evidence of harm. [Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute \^/]

Among adolescents, autoeroticism is also widespread and often serves as a way to relieve tension. A study by Wimpie Pangkahila found that 81 percent of males and 18 percent of females between the ages of 15 and 20 reported engaging in self-stimulation. Most used their hands, sometimes with lubrication, while others reported rubbing against objects such as pillows or mattresses.

Only a small number of females reported using devices such as vibrators. However, there is still considerable misinformation and misunderstanding about autoeroticism. Many adolescents believe that masturbation may lead to health problems such as memory loss, erectile dysfunction, infertility, or even reduced bone marrow. On the moral side, many adolescents feel that autoeroticism is sinful, yet they continue to practice it. Questions about masturbation frequently appear in informal sources of sexual education, including seminars, online discussion groups, newspapers, and radio programs. These questions often focus on its perceived health consequences.”

Autoerotic behavior remains common into adulthood, particularly among single individuals, with patterns similar to those seen in adolescence. Masturbation among married men or women is practised in certain situations, such as when they are separated from their partners, when they cannot reach orgasm through sexual intercourse, or when the partner is unable to engage in sexual intercourse for a legitimate reason. Some wives masturbate in front of their husbands after having sex without reaching orgasm. Some of them use vibrators or other sex accessories, whereas others do not want to do it in front of their husbands. The result is that husbands are often unaware that their wives are not reaching orgasm through intercourse and are relying on masturbation instead. Even though autoeroticism is very commonly practised among both adolescents and adults, many people still believe that it is morally wrong and will result in harm such as sterility, impotence, or memory decline.

No, masturbation is not a crime in Indonesia punishable by death as has been claimed on the Internet. The closest relevant regulation is Article 281 of the Indonesian Criminal Code, which addresses acts that violate public decency. This law applies only to public behavior and carries a maximum prison sentence—not severe punishments. : Claims about severe punishments for jerking off reportedly date back to 2007.

Adultery in Indonesia

Extramarital sex is common, especially among males. Many married men seek prostitutes or have sexual relations with single or married women. In a typical, double moral standard, extramarital sex by males is considered something usual, even though it is forbidden by religion, morality, and law. [Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute \^/]

Extramarital intercourse is also found among married women, but in a lower incidence than among husbands. Although married women do have sexual relations with single and married men, most people consider this very bad and unacceptable behavior.

But there have been cases where the punishment for adultery was death. An eighteenth- or nineteenth-century eyewitness account from Java (published by T. Little in The Beauty, Marriage-Ceremonies, and Intercourse of the Sexes,in all Nations, in 1824, and quoted by Scott 1953) described the execution for adultery of thirteen of the emperor’s women by poisoning. In parts of New Guinea, capital punishment was used only for the crime of adultery. Disfigurement of the adulterer was another common punishment. [Source: George P. Monger, “Marriage Customs of the World From Henna to Honeymoons”, 2004 ^]

Aphrodisiacs and Sex Enhancers in Indonesia

Powered crocodile penis is taken as a virility enhancer in Indonesia. In parts of Borneo put a piece at the end of their penis with a piece of bamboo or brass wire to excite women. In Sumatra men make holes in their penis and press small stones in the holes. Flesh later grows over the stones living behind a knobby stimulating penis. When Viagra was released in the 1990s on the market, Pfizer the company that produces it, received several phone calls from Cendana, the residence of Indonesian President Suharto

Making love with a gadi (a young virgin) is highly sought after by some men. One ingredient intended to induce erection is a a root extract from a plant locally known as penyega, which may be boiled and consumed as a drink or eaten directly. In many Indonesian towns, there are street vendors and shops that sell jamu (herbal medicine) that promise to make ine’s sex life betters. Visiting certain places or buying certain products produced in these places are also viewed as powerful sex cures and stimulants. In West Java, near Bandung, there is a place where one can go to be cured of erectile dysfunction. Madura is famous for potions that enhance vaginal performance. It is claimed that even after sex, the vagina can be seen pulsating. The Madurese are famous in Indonesia for their sexual prowess, which is referred to "Seks Madura". [Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute; Indonesiamatters.com]

Jill Forshee wrote in “Culture and Customs of Indonesia”: Jamu are sold in packets, served at pharmacies, or concocted individually. Men across the islands drink jamu for virility, along with the more recently sold “energy drinks” (often containing caffeine and nicotine) to increase their drive. In parts of Java, women drink an herbal mixture to make them vaginally “dry” and tight during sexual intercourse to please men (though often causing pain for women). In some regions, women use jamu to shorten their menstrual periods, as men tend to fear and loathe uterine blood. Indeed, body ﬂuids carry negative supernatural associations, involved in the workings of “black magic” (gaib hitam). [Source: Jill Forshee, “Culture and Customs of Indonesia”, Greenwood Press, 2006]

Even though they are still illegal, vibrators and sex dolls are becoming commonplace. There are no legal sex shops anywhere in the country, not even in the larger cities. One sex shop opened in Surabaya (East Java), Indonesia’s second largest city, in early 2000, but the police quickly closed it on the grounds that it did not have a government licence and that such shops are contrary to Indonesian culture and morality. One media outlet asked: “Why close a sex shop? Why don’t the police shut down prostitution?' However, some drug shops still sell sex accessories illegally, and people can buy them online. [Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute \^/]

Image Sources: Wikimedia Commons

Text Sources:“Encyclopedia of World Cultures Volume 5: East/Southeast Asia:” edited by Paul Hockings, 1993; “Culture and Customs of Indonesia” by Jill Forshee, Greenwood Press, 2006; National Geographic, New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Smithsonian magazine, Encyclopedia.com, Library of Congress, Indonesia Tourism website (indonesia.travel), Indonesia government websites, Live Science, The Conversation, The New Yorker, Time, BBC, CNN, Reuters, Associated Press, AFP, Lonely Planet Guides, Google AI, Wikipedia, The Guardian and various websites, books and other publications.

Last updated April 2026