SEX IN INDONESIA: VIEWS, VIRGINITY, RELIGION, MAGIC

SEX IN INDONESIA

Especially among Javanese longstanding cultural values somehwat reflect influences from earlier Hindu-Buddhist traditions that emphasize self-control and asceticism. Sex and physical pleasure are acknowledged as natural but should be moderated. At the same time, discreet extramarital relationships do occur among both men and women. While Islamic law permits a man to have up to four wives if he can treat them equally, polygamy has become increasingly rare due to economic challenges and growing resistance from women. Nonetheless, it persists in some Muslim and animist communities.[Source: Jill Forshee, “Culture and Customs of Indonesia”, Greenwood Press, 2006]

Most of Indonesia is looser and more tolerant than many Muslim countries towards different views and practices regarding sex On street corners in Jakarta WTS's (Women of injured morals) and transvestites often solicit pedestrians.

Across Indonesia, sexual organs are understood through a dual lens: they are both sacred and profane. In some regions, this dualism reflects ancient Hindu concepts such as linggam-yoni, symbolizing the cosmic union of male and female principles. In animist traditions, genitalia are also seen as sources of spiritual potency, through which ancestral forces are transmitted across generations. For example, in parts of Sumba, the term Marapu—the name of the local belief system—can also refer to genitalia, underscoring their role in lineage and inheritance. In this way, sexual organs are viewed as vital conduits linking religion, humanity, and reproduction. [Source: Jill Forshee, “Culture and Customs of Indonesia”, Greenwood Press, 2006]

At the same time, when referenced crudely or displayed inappropriately, they become symbols of social disgrace, reflecting poorly on an individual’s character. This tension between reverence and shame runs throughout Indonesian culture, shaping ideals of proper conduct. Yet, as in any society, lived reality does not always conform to these ideals. Beneath the surface of restraint, sexual expression finds indirect outlets, and moments of humor or transgression reveal an undercurrent of playfulness. Ultimately, the dynamic between social norms and personal behavior gives Indonesian sexual culture much of its complexity and vitality.

The UNDP (United Nations Development Program and USAID (US Agency for International Development) have conducted surveys in China, Cambodia, Indonesia, Thailand and Vietnam. On sex and cultural and social attitudes towards LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender)

Views on Sexuality in Indonesia

Sex. like many things in much of Indonesia, especially Java, is dealt with in terms of euphemisms and vagueness. One standard dictionary defines “orgasm’ as “anger” and “orgy” as a religious party.” In high Javanese the word for man is "half-woman," and the word for woman is "half man." Recent debates—such as proposals to ban miniskirts on the grounds that “provocative clothing makes men do things,” or regulations in Aceh requiring women to sit side-saddle on motorbikes to conceal the “curves of a woman’s body”—highlight the ongoing struggle over gender, morality, and public behavior in contemporary Indonesian society. [Source: Kate Hodal, The Guardian, August 21, 2013]

Everyday moral language in Indonesia, particularly from a male perspective, is infused with rooster imagery. The word sabung—meaning “cock” and found in inscriptions as early as A.D. 922—serves as a metaphor for a wide range of masculine ideals, including “hero,” “warrior,” “champion,” “political candidate,” “bachelor,” “dandy,” and “tough guy.” In this sense, masculinity is symbolically tied to virility and competitiveness. Paradoxically, as sexual expression is socially restricted, it often becomes more alluring and symbolically charged. [Source: Jill Forshee, “Culture and Customs of Indonesia”, Greenwood Press, 2006]

Despite this symbolic richness, Indonesians generally avoid open discussion of sex. Terms referring to sexual organs are often indirect; for instance, kemaluan, a word used for both male and female genitalia, literally means “shame” or “embarrassment.” This linguistic restraint does not imply reduced sexual activity. In fact, in some regions, people engage in as many—or even more—romantic and extramarital relationships than in Western societies. Moreover, strict moral prohibitions against homosexuality, common in Euro-American contexts, have not historically shaped many indigenous belief systems. Among animist communities, concepts such as “original sin” or “asceticism” hold little relevance.

Sexuality in these contexts is not burdened with the same religious stigma found elsewhere. Men may even prefer wives with prior sexual experience, sometimes linked to practical concerns such as fears surrounding defloration. Nonetheless, sexual and marital life is governed by clear norms and taboos. Incest prohibitions are universal, though cross-cousin marriage was traditionally encouraged to strengthen kinship ties, a practice that has declined in recent times. Additional customs regulate behavior during pregnancy, childbirth, marriage arrangements, and spousal relations. Social context plays a crucial role in determining what is considered acceptable in both speech and behavior.

In same-sex settings, conversations about sex can be surprisingly open. Women bathing together may joke frankly about their experiences, while groups of men may boast about romantic conquests. However, such openness rarely extends to mixed company, where modesty is expected. Even in informal settings, sexual humor typically relies on euphemisms rather than direct anatomical references.

Ideas About Sexuality and Love in Indonesia

Premarital sex and pregnancy in Greater Jakarta Springer

Traditionally, Indonesian women associated sexuality closely with love and were expected to engage in sexual relations only with the man they loved—typically their husband. It was commonly believed that a woman could not have sexual relations without emotional attachment. In contrast, men were socially permitted to engage in sexual activity more freely, with fewer expectations of emotional involvement. Within this framework, women were often viewed primarily as objects of male desire.[Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute]

In contemporary Indonesia, these views have been shifting. Increasingly, sex and love are seen as separate, particularly among younger generations. Many young women now express the desire to engage in sexual relationships based on personal choice rather than emotional commitment. However, these changing attitudes are often met with disapproval from older generations, reflecting an ongoing tension between tradition and modernity.

“This concept change does not seem to occur only in the large cities, but also increasingly in the villages. Some studies performed of the young of the villages showed that there is no significant difference in sexual behavior between the young in the village and in the city. The difference is only in the physical environment and other circumstances that facilitate or permit sexual intercourse. Whether in the city or in the village, the young have the same perceptions about pregnancy, abortion, and family planning. The sexual knowledge and behavior of the young seem to be a new dimension, which is separated from the settings and culture of traditional social organization, family, and religion. The opinion that the village is a traditional and homogeneous community, which holds strongly the cultural and religious norms and is not easy …”

Influences on Ideas About Sexuality and Love in Indonesia

Indonesia’s cultural and religious landscape has been shaped by centuries of external influence. Early in the first millennium, Hindu traders and priests spread their beliefs across the islands. From the thirteenth century onward, Islamic influence expanded, and by the fifteenth century most of the region had become Muslim. Today, about 88 percent of Indonesians identify as Muslim, alongside Hindu, Buddhist, and Christian minorities. Despite this diversity, religious tolerance has generally been a notable feature of Indonesian society. [Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute]

European influence began in the sixteenth century with the arrival of Portuguese traders, followed by Dutch colonization in the late 1500s. Although the British briefly took control in the early nineteenth century, the Dutch resumed authority until the mid-twentieth century. After Japanese occupation during World War II, Indonesian nationalists declared independence, eventually securing sovereignty after a period of conflict and negotiation. This history helped shape the country’s modern social and political development.

In earlier periods, conservative religious and cultural values strongly regulated sexual behavior. Public interaction between unmarried males and females was restricted, and premarital pregnancy carried severe social consequences for both the individual and her family. Such norms reinforced strict expectations regarding morality and gender roles.

Since around the 1980s, however, the influence of these traditional values has declined, particularly among younger Indonesians. Significant changes in attitudes toward sex and relationships have emerged, reflecting broader social transformations.

Views on Women’s and Men's Sexuality in Indonesia

Frequency of sex and masturbation: Jakarta versus non-Jakarta, honestdocs

When a seduction occurs without family approval, the man is often held responsible. However, in more conservative Muslim communities, judgments toward women can be harsher and closely tied to notions of family honor. Even so, a girl is typically reprimanded rather than severely punished, as many Indonesians view women as vulnerable—sometimes even irrational—when confronted with male advances. This perception reflects the broader lemah ideal of femininity, which emphasizes grace, flexibility, and weakness. Within this framework, women’s sexuality is commonly seen as passive and compliant. As a result, in some regions a woman’s family may demand compensation from the man, and male relatives may pressure him—sometimes through threats or violence—to comply. [Source: Jill Forshee, “Culture and Customs of Indonesia”, Greenwood Press, 2006]

At the same time, an opposing image of female sexuality exists, one that portrays women as dangerous and predatory. This duality is reflected in myths and beliefs about witchcraft. Javanese folklore, for instance, tells of a seductive woman who roams at night with a hollowed torso, luring men to their doom. Similar stories appear throughout the archipelago, depicting women who entice men into possession, madness, or death. In some areas, men may even fear encountering a solitary woman at night more than women fear men. Because women rarely travel alone, especially after dark, their presence in such contexts can seem unnatural or threatening.

These contrasting images—one of nurturing passivity and the other of destructive power—shape cultural understandings of femininity. Men often express anxiety about women’s sexual fluids and the mysterious forces associated with fertility and reproduction. Menstrual or uterine blood, in particular, is frequently regarded as dangerous, embodying an unfamiliar and uncontrollable power. Folklore across Indonesia includes stories of men losing their sanity or virility after contact with such substances.

This symbolism extends into material culture. Indigo dye, widely used in traditional textiles, is often associated with women’s bodily fluids. In many communities, men avoid contact with indigo dye vats, which are fermented and strongly scented, likened to uterine blood. The preparation and control of this dye is typically a female domain, granting women a sphere of authority that is largely uncontested. Despite its perceived danger in liquid form, indigo-dyed cloth has long been an essential part of dress for both men and women across Indonesia.

In Java, self-control over one’s passions is considered a key marker of refined masculinity and moral character. Yet, men are also recognized to “lose control” (hilang kontrol) at times. While some attribute this to the influence of love magic cast by women, many acknowledge their own desires as the cause. Javanese masculinity thus reflects a dual ethic: one that values restraint and ascetic discipline, and another that celebrates virility, charm, and sexual success. In practice, men often gravitate toward the latter. The term jago (“rooster”) is used to describe a man who is particularly successful with women. [Source: Jill Forshee, “Culture and Customs of Indonesia”, Greenwood Press, 2006]

Public figures have often embodied this ideal. President Sukarno, known for multiple marriages and numerous affairs, was widely admired by many Indonesians, who viewed his behavior as evidence of his vitality and prowess. Similarly, the reputation of U.S. President John F. Kennedy as a womanizer has drawn admiration, while the intense moral scrutiny directed at U.S. President Bill Clinton’s misconduct puzzled many Indonesians. To them, such criticism seemed inconsistent with the privileges typically associated with power and suggested an overly rigid moral stance.

Views By Indonesian Men About Sex

Traditional beliefs surrounding menstruation and sexual health further reflect gendered perceptions of power and danger. Female fertility is viewed as both vital and potentially hazardous. Many Indonesian men regard menstrual blood with fear, and sexual relations typically cease during menstruation, often followed by rituals of purification. In some regions, menstruating women are required to leave their homes and reside in separate spaces. Menstruation is frequently understood as a form of pollution, capable of harming men and even their valued possessions, such as weapons. In certain former headhunting societies in eastern Indonesia, menstruating women were considered more dangerous than armed warriors. Yet, despite attributing such potent forces to women, men often assigned them lower social status—revealing a tension between perceived power and social valuation. [Source: Jill Forshee, “Culture and Customs of Indonesia”, Greenwood Press, 2006]

These beliefs reflect a broader pattern in which what is ambiguous or difficult to control becomes subject to taboo. Bodily fluids, by their nature, resist containment, and menstrual blood in particular symbolizes a uniquely female power tied to reproduction—one that lies beyond male authority. As a result, it has inspired a range of fears, prohibitions, and mythologies.

Historically, misunderstandings about sexual health reinforced these anxieties. In some parts of eastern Indonesia, men believed that diseases such as gonorrhea and syphilis were transmitted through women’s bodily fluids. Symptoms experienced by men were interpreted as the absorption of uterine blood during intercourse. The supposed remedy was to have sexual relations with a “pure” or virgin woman in order to return the illness. Women themselves were thought not to suffer from such diseases, as these fluids were considered a natural part of their bodies, only becoming harmful when transferred to men. These beliefs contributed to the widespread transmission of sexually transmitted infections in certain regions.

Influence of Religion and Ethnicity on Views About Sex

In the past, conservative religious and cultural values had a strong influence on sexual attitudes and behaviors. For instance, it was taboo for male and female adolescents to walk together in public. A daughter who became pregnant before marriage brought disastrous consequences upon her entire family.[Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute \^/]

However, the influence of religious and traditional cultural values has declined in recent decades, most noticeably since the 1980s. This shift is evident in the significant changes in sexual attitudes and behaviors, particularly among the younger generation. The widespread availability of contraceptives, introduced through a national family planning program in 1970, contributed to these changes. The incidence of abortion among young people—estimated at around one million cases annually—suggests a weakening of traditional religious constraints in contemporary Indonesian society. At the same time, participation in religious services remains high across different faiths.”

Indonesia’s many ethnic groups each maintain distinct cultural traditions and sexual values. Groups such as the Javanese and Balinese are often described as more “modern” in comparison to some tribal societies in regions like Borneo and Papua. Despite these differences, a common thread across many cultures is the view of sex as private and even secret, appropriate primarily within marriage.

Traditional gender roles have often positioned women in subordinate roles, expected to serve their husbands and remain compliant in all aspects of married life, including sexual relations. In some cases, beliefs about sexuality intersect with ideas about supernatural power; for example, certain men who engage in homosexual behavior have claimed that contact with women would diminish their spiritual abilities.

In today’s globalized world, sexual attitudes and behaviors are changing across all cultures of Indonesia. Premarital sex, for example, is now common among adolescents. Even premarital pregnancy is increasingly visible and, for many families, no longer carries the severe stigma it once did. There is a growing homogeneity in sexual perceptions, knowledge, and behavior—especially among the younger generation—that cuts across ethnic differences.”

Views on Virginity in Indonesia

Virginity has traditionally been greatly prized. In 1845, chastity belts were still being used on Java. Virginity is particularly highly valued in rural areas and conservative Muslim area such as Aceh Province. As social norms evolve within a large and diverse population, clashes often arise between more conservative perspectives and younger, more moderate views.

Outside of more strictly Islamic communities, female sexuality beyond marriage has not always carried the same level of moral condemnation found in many other parts of the world. However, during Indonesia’s New Order period, the state increasingly emphasized women’s sexual conduct, promoting an ideal that confined women primarily to roles as wives and mothers. At the same time, expectations for men remained comparatively flexible. Through national discourse centered in Jakarta, Javanese Muslim values—particularly the importance placed on female virginity—spread across the archipelago, though their influence varied by region. [Source: Jill Forshee, “Culture and Customs of Indonesia”, Greenwood Press, 2006]

In many societies beyond Java, attitudes toward premarital relationships have historically been more permissive. In some areas, families allow forms of “trial marriage,” where young couples live together within the woman’s household. If a child results from such a relationship, the child typically belongs to the woman’s lineage. In these contexts, daughters hold significant social and economic value due to bridewealth practices, and families of brides often enjoy higher status than those of grooms. These systems reflect a different emphasis on sexuality and marriage, where virginity is less rigidly policed than in more Islam-influenced regions.

Virginity Tests in Indonesia?

A proposal in August 2013 to require female high school students to undergo mandatory virginity testing has sparked widespread outrage among activists, who argue that it discriminates against girls and violates their basic human rights. The idea was introduced by Prabumulih district education chief Muhammad Rasyid in South Sumatra, who described the policy as “an accurate way to protect children from prostitution and free sex.” He stated that the program could be funded through the city budget and implemented as early as the following year, pending approval from local legislators. Defending the proposal, Rasyid said, “This is for their own good,” adding, “Every woman has the right to virginity … we expect students not to commit negative acts.” [Source: Kate Hodal, The Guardian, August 21, 2013]

Under the plan, female students aged 16 to 19 would be required to undergo annual examinations of their hymens until graduation. No comparable measures would be applied to male students, a disparity that has drawn particular criticism. Some local politicians supported the initiative, arguing that it could reduce what they described as “rampant” promiscuity. Hasrul Azwar of the Prosperous Justice Party (PKS) told the Jakarta Post, “Virginity is sacred, thus it’s a disgrace for a [female] student to lose her virginity before getting married.”

The proposal appears to be a response to concerns over rising premarital sexual activity, including reports—cited by Kompas—of several high school students allegedly involved in prostitution. However, similar proposals in Indonesia have emerged before, notably in West Java in 2007 and again in Sumatra in 2010, both of which were ultimately abandoned following public backlash.

Opposition to the plan has been strong and widespread. Lawmakers, activists, human rights organizations, and even the local Islamic advisory council have criticized the measure as unjust and potentially harmful. Critics argue that it could deny girls access to education and unfairly punish those who may have lost their virginity through non-consensual experiences such as sexual assault. As South Sumatra legislative council deputy speaker HA Djauhari explained, “There are female students who may have lost their virginity due to an accident — it is not their fault.”

The National Commission for Child Protection also condemned the proposal, suggesting it was an attempt to gain “popularity” among conservative groups and describing it as “excessive.” Its chairman, Arist Merdeka Sirait, emphasized that “loss of virginity is not merely because of sexual activities,” noting that it “could be caused by sports or health problems and many other factors.” Uncertainty remains over how such testing would be implemented and what consequences students might face, raising concerns among educators about whether girls without intact hymens would be excluded from schooling. Indonesia’s education and culture minister, Muhammad Nuh, rejected the proposal, urging officials to find “a wiser way to address the issue of teen sex.”

In November 2019, an Indonesian teenage gymnast, Shalfa Avrila Sania, was sent home from training for the Southeast Asian Games, with her family claiming she was dismissed after being accused of no longer being a virgin. Her mother said coaches questioned her behavior and used this as justification, a claim the government denied, insisting the decision was based on performance and discipline. The family rejected the accusations, pointing to her strong athletic record and submitting medical evidence to defend her reputation. Officials stated that any dismissal based on virginity would violate privacy and dignity.[Source: Beh Lih Yi, Reuters, November 29, 2019]

Magic and Sex in Indonesia

In many parts of Indonesia, sexuality is closely linked to ancestral power and social order. Ancestors are believed to “operate” through marriage patterns, guiding appropriate alliances and prohibitions. Where lineage systems remain strong, violating prescribed marriage rules—such as marrying outside accepted exchange networks—can invite misfortune. Illness, infertility, or family hardship may be interpreted as consequences of such actions, attributed to the anger of offended ancestors. Stories of these outcomes circulate widely, reinforcing adherence to traditional norms. [Source: Jill Forshee, “Culture and Customs of Indonesia”, Greenwood Press, 2006]

Sexuality is also associated with danger through beliefs in supernatural forces. Harmful magic, known as gaib hitam (black magic), is thought to be transmitted through substances such as food, water, betel nut, or even bodily materials like excretions and women’s fluids. Symbolic elements, including indigo dye, are likewise believed to carry potent energies. In contrast, gaib hijau (green magic) is associated with attraction and seduction, granting individuals an irresistible charm. Both men and women may practice such magic, though gaib perempuan (“woman magic”) is often feared as a form of male sorcery used to control women. Men who appear unusually successful with women are sometimes suspected of relying on these supernatural means.

Myths throughout Indonesia frequently focus on female spirits, particularly those of women who died in childbirth or emotional distress. These figures are often depicted as powerful and dangerous, appearing at night to seduce, harm, or even kill men. Such stories highlight the perceived risks associated with feminine power. In Bali, for example, the fear of local female spirits coexists with reverence for the Hindu goddess Durga, reflecting the dual nature of femininity as both protective and destructive.

Water and the sea are common settings for these beliefs. In parts of eastern Indonesia, stories describe “sea wives”—female spirits who form relationships with human men. On the island of Aru in Maluku, divers are said to establish bonds with underwater spirits who help them locate pearls. In return, the divers must offer gifts, such as white plates. Failure to reciprocate can bring misfortune, including illness or death within the family. To guard against such dangers, children may wear protective charms believed to ward off these supernatural influences.

A similar belief appears in accounts from eastern Sumba, where a village ruler was rumored to have preferred relationships with sea spirits over his earthly wife. According to local narratives, he spent extended periods underwater engaging in these encounters. When he died without heirs, people attributed the resulting disorder in the village to unsettled obligations with his supernatural partners, who were believed to have disrupted the community.

Stories of sea wives and other supernatural relationships often enhance ideals of masculinity by linking sexual prowess with mystical power. At the same time, they emphasize risk: such relationships can bring great rewards but also serious consequences if not properly managed. This dynamic reflects a broader cultural pattern in which danger, chance, and sexuality are intertwined, heightening both the stakes and the allure of such experiences.

Sex Education in Indonesia

Sex education has historically had a limited role in Indonesia’s education system. Until 1999, school curricula did not include formal instruction on sexual topics. The Ministry of Education and Culture later recommended a book by Wimpie Pangkahila, About the Sexual Problems in the Family (1988), as a reference for high school students. The book addresses common misconceptions in Indonesian society, including myths about masturbation and misunderstandings about pregnancy. [Source: International Encyclopedia of Sexuality, edited by Robert T. Francoeur, Ph.d., A.c.s and Raymond J. Noonan, PhD., Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004, online at the Kinsey Institute]

Government institutions have introduced programs to address reproductive health. The Indonesian Ministry of Health and the National Population and Family Planning Board developed a Reproductive Health Education program aimed at young people, providing seminars on sexual and reproductive health topics. In the reform era since 1998, government policy shifted. Sex education was formally introduced into schools under the label “healthy reproductive education.” Some secondary schools also offer additional sessions through extracurricular activities, often involving invited external experts.

Outside the formal education system, demand for information on sexuality is reflected in public engagement. Youth and women’s organizations regularly organize seminars on sexual health. Media outlets, including magazines, newspapers, radio, and television, provide advice columns and programs where audiences can ask questions about sexual issues. Television also carries condom advertisements as part of HIV/AIDS prevention campaigns. Online platforms have further expanded access to information. Indonesian websites and forums provide spaces for discussion about sexuality, indicating growing public interest despite the perception that the topic remains socially sensitive.

In terms of studying sexology, as of the early 2000s, postgraduate training was available at Airlangga University and Udayana University. The andrology program at Airlangga University offered a two-and-a-half-year course covering spermatology, reproductive biology, endocrinology, infertility management, and sexology, including topics such as sexual dysfunction, sexual deviation, and counseling. At Udayana University Medical School, sexology was studied through programs such as the Study Group on Human Reproduction and the Indonesian Society of Andrology. Advanced education in sexuality included a the Master’s program in Reproductive Medicine, which required about two years of study and covered a wide range of topics, including gender, sexual behavior across the life cycle, sexual variation, and dysfunction. Some Indonesian sexologists have received training abroad, including in the United States, Belgium, and Australia. Research activity had included studies on erectile dysfunction treatments, sexual behavior among youth, and sexual knowledge among patients with sexually transmitted diseases, as well as ongoing work on HIV/AIDS-related risk behavior.

Image Sources: Wikimedia Commons

Text Sources:“Encyclopedia of World Cultures Volume 5: East/Southeast Asia:” edited by Paul Hockings, 1993; “Culture and Customs of Indonesia” by Jill Forshee, Greenwood Press, 2006; National Geographic, New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Smithsonian magazine, Encyclopedia.com, Library of Congress, Indonesia Tourism website (indonesia.travel), Indonesia government websites, Live Science, The Conversation, The New Yorker, Time, BBC, CNN, Reuters, Associated Press, AFP, Lonely Planet Guides, Google AI, Wikipedia, The Guardian and various websites, books and other publications.

Last updated April 2026