WEDDINGS OF DIFFERENT ETHIC GROUPS IN INDONESIA: JAVANESE, CHINESE, SUNDANESE AND BATAK

JAVANESE WEDDING

According to rami-services.com: “Normally the celebration lasts two days. The first day is similar to a shower, as is commonly known in the western hemisphere, and the second day is the marriage ceremony and the wedding celebrations. The future husband doesńt normally attend the shower celebration which is reserved for the immediate family and very close friends. But there can be exceptions... Javanese people are very smooth and resilient. [Source: rami-services.com ^]

“The wedding ceremony usually begins at 9 in the morning and if the ceremony is of the Muslim faith, the vows take place in the bridés parentś home. Otherwise, the marriage can be in a church or in a government office if you prefer a civil marriage. Afterwards, the music begins and the couple is invited to sing along with the musicians if live music is present. Cantik Javanese Dancer Guests can also sing and others are invited to sing along. So dońt be surprised by the wide selection of music since most professional musicians can play all styles such as Dangdut, Latin, pop, rock and roll and most top 40 tunes and supply song books. ^

“Guests are oftentimes honored by the participation of a Bali or Dangdut dancer which is most appreciated by everyone. Gamelan music is a well preserved tradition in Java and Bali. The gamelan is a percussion instrument made of bronze and each one has a particular sound and doesńt follow the western rule of a fixed musical scale. Dangdut, on the other hand, is a more contemporary type of music. Modern instruments such as electric guitar, bass, mandolin, drum set and electric violin play along with traditional instrument such as the kendang, a drum which produces the dang and the dut on a 4/4 beat. Also a seruling tastefully comes in to fill in for the melody when the singer ends a musical phrase. Most of the time, Dangdut music is enhanced with eight beautiful dancers, women and men, smiling all the way through a song. Dangdut can take many forms such as rock-dangdut, pop-dangdut, reggae-dangdut, tango-dangdut, salsa-dangdut and frequently reminds the listener about Arabian, Latin and Indian influences. ^

“Traditional food is served to the guests before they gradually leave while other people such as neighbors and co-workers come over to pay a small visit and enjoy the food and music.The Flower Bath ceremony is held at the bridés parents house. In this ceremony the parents and close relatives offer a flower shower to the bride as a symbol of purifying body and soul before the wedding that will take place the next day. Also held on the day prior to the wedding day, the Step Over Ceremony takes place if the bride has an elder sister who hasńt married yet. This ceremony is for appreciation to the elder sister so that the wedding can be held with her blessing. The younger sister will also give a gift to the older one. This ceremony is quite moving: a mixture of joy for the future bride and sadness for the elder sister. ^

Javanese Wedding Ceremony

According to jagadkejawen.com: Ijab is the most important rite to legalize a marriage. Ijab is a wedding registration in accordance with Islamic religion. In Indonesia, a marriage is legalized according to the religion of the couple. After the Ijab , the ceremony is followed by a civil registration which makes the couple legally husband and wife. [Source: .jagadkejawen.com -]

“The Panggih or Temu Manten Ceremony is a traditional ceremony which takes place in the home of the bride’s parents. It is the meeting of the bride and groom and is conducted immediately after the Ijab and the civil registration. During this part of the ceremony, the groom is accompanied by his close relatives (but not his parents who are disallowed to be present) and stop at the front gate while the bride and her parents stand inside the front door. Two young girls called Patah, stand in front of the bride holding fans. Two boys or elderly women each hold a a one meter high floral bouquet called Kembar Mayang. A female family member of the groom steps forward and gives the mother of the bride a token of appreciation for her hospitality in the form of a gift of bananas and flowers in a tray covered with banana leaves called Sanggan . After the Panggih meeting between the bride and groom, the Kembar Mayang is strewn at the nearest intersection in order that no evil spirits can reach the house and disturb the matrimonials. -

“The bride meets the groom in the front veranda of the house . They are approaching each other. When they are about two meters facing each other, they stop and start with the rite of Balangan Suruh.That is, throwing to each other seven bundles of betel leaves with lime inside tied with white yarn. They do it eagerly, smiling, witnessed happily by everyone presents. According to ancient belief, betel leaves have natural energy to drive out evil spirits. Through this ritual of Balangan Suruh, the bride and the groom are the real persons, not ghosts nor fakes . -

“Following the previous rituals, the groom then crashes a chicken egg with his right foot, the bride washes his foot with water mixed with several kind of petals of flowers. It depicts, the groom is ready to become a responsible head of the family and the family will have good children. In Yogyakarta the bride and the groom stand face to face. The bride kneels to wash the right foot of the groom with water mixed with several kind of flowers’ petals. The Pemaes- The Beautician who leads the ceremony holds a chicken egg in her right hand. She touches the forehead of the groom and the bride using the tip of the egg. Then, she breaks the egg above the petals of flowers on the floor between the bride and the groom. It depicts the couple have already a strong mind and they are aware to build a family based upon mutual love.They believe, blessed by The Loving God to have a happy family with good children.” -

Kacar Kucur and Dhahar Klimah

According to jagadkejawen.com: The couple walks by holding each other with their little fingers to the site where this rite is going to be held i.e. in front of the Krobongan.( In a Javanese traditional house , every house has a Krobongan i.e a room located in the center of the house where offerings are placed on certain auspicious days. In front of the room stand a pair of wooden statues called Loro Blonyo, the symbol of prosperity. Prayers, meditation, special events including wedding ceremonies are held in front of the Krobongan. [Source: .jagadkejawen.com -]

“The ritual Kacar Kucur depicts the husband gives all his income to his wife. In this rite, the groom gives to his wife some mixture of peanuts, soybean, rice, corns, yellow rice, dlingo bengle herbs, severaL kind of petals of flowers, coins ( the quantity of the coins must be even). The bride with open heart receives these gifts in a small white cloth, above an old mat on her lap. It symbolizes she must be a good wife and mother who always behaves responsibly. -

“Dhahar Klimah or Dhahar Kembul is the rite of eating together for the bride and the groom, witnessed by the parents and close families of the bride. The groom makes three small balls of yellow rice with dishes of fried eggs, tempeh, soybean, slices of dried fried meat ( abon), chicken’s liver. First, the groom feeds the bride and in turn the bride feeds the groom. Then they drink sweet tea from the same cup. This rite depicts that from now on, they will use and enjoy their belongings together. In the old days, the rite of Tampa Kaya, Dhahar Kembul- eating together are held in front of the Krobongan in the center of the house. Nowadays, even a wedding party is held in a hotel or convention hall, the rituals are also carried out.The place where these rituals are held is decorated with krobongan like ornaments.” -

Sungkeman

According to jagadkejawen.com: “The bride’s parents meet the parents of the groom in front of the house. If the wedding is held in a function centre they will meet them in the front door of the reception hall. They walk together to the place of the ceremony. The mothers walk in front of the fathers. The parents of the groom are seated on the left side of of the newly wed couple. The bride’s parents sit on the right side of the couple. [Source: .jagadkejawen.com -]

“The groom and the bride do sungkem (putting both hands together as in prayer and bowing seeking blessings) to both parents. First to the parents of the bride, then to the parents of the groom.Sungkem is a show of deep respect, traditionally done: The parents sit on a chair. The bride and the groom kneel in front of them. The groom does the sungkem first to his father- in- law, then to mother-in-law. Kneeling he does a sembah- respecful greeting with his two palms of the hands joined together, fingertips upward, his two thumbs touching the tip of his nose. Slowly and lightly, he holds the right knee of his father – in-law and presses lightly his face to his father-in-law’s knee. In a low voice, politely, he says to him :” I give you my pangabekti – devotion”. The father-in-law with his left hand touching the upper part of his son-in-law’s back, in whispering voice says :” Accept my sincere blessings”. -

“Sungkem is a traditional way of expressing a sincere respect towards parents and the elderly and also to the Javanese kings in Yogyakarta and Surakarta during special palace Ceremonies. While the groom is doing sungkem, he is not allowed to wear his kris-dagger. Temporarily, the Pemaes holds the kris. After the sungkeman, the groom wears again his kris. After the groom, the bride is also doing sungkem. Then they do sungkem also to parents of the groom. -

“The sungkem ceremony is very emotional for the parents as well as for the newlyweds. The parents wholeheartedly accept their children’s love and devotion and at the same time, they give the very best wishes to their children to live happily in a harmonious fortunate family. In fact, the parents have given their blessing to the newly wed couple by wearing batik clothes of truntum designs during the wedding ceremony. It means a wish for fortunate life for the couple. The parents of both sides also wear the same design of Sindhur – a large and long waist sash with its curved edges which means life is like a river which winds through the mountains which symbolises that the parents are imploring their offspring to act wisely in their walk in life. -

Chinese Weddings in Indonesia: Events Before the Wedding

According to expat.or.id: “On the surface, ethnic Chinese weddings may seem more similar to western weddings, due to the Chinese Indonesian wedding –– bridal party adaptation of western wedding dress and the wedding cake. But that may be the extent of the similarities. About a week before the wedding, the family of the groom will go (without the groom) to the house of the bride bringing various gifts that are arranged in red baskets or red boxes or other red containers. Red symbolizes happiness and prosperity for the Chinese. Each basket should be carried by a member of the immediate family of the groom. The contents of the basket determines who should carry each basket. [Source: expat.or.id /~/]

“The baskets from the groom should all be carried by males. They contain various items, such as fruit in one basket, clothes in another, gold jewelry for the bride in another. Some are gifts from the groom and others are gifts from the family of the groom. Another basket contains 'uang susu' (milk money). Depending on the wealth of the family the gifts will be more or less generous. The bride. s family then accepts the baskets and takes them off to another room. Then ... this is the good part ... they sort through the gifts. Normally half of the gifts are placed back in the baskets and returned to the family of the groom. The basket is then returned to the person that brought it and everybody goes home./~/

“Three days before the wedding, the bride's family returns the favor and brings red baskets to the groom's house. These baskets are carried by females of the bride. s immediate family. The baskets normally contain clothes for the groom, shoes and fruit. Basically, things that he would use everyday. Some of the baskets contain makeup and personal things for the bride, such as nightgowns. This symbolizes that the groom's family is accepting her into their house. On her wedding day when she moves in, all of her personal belongings will already be in the groom's house. Again the gifts are sorted through and about half are returned. /~/

“Different ethnic Chinese groups will have variations on these proceedings, some more strictly adhered to than others. For example, Hokian, Cantonese or Kai have slight variations on these customs. For some, the groom's family will be invited into the new couple's bedroom after the bride's gifts have been received into the house and they will be invited to have a 'closet inspection'. It is expected that the bride has placed her things neatly in the closets indicating that she will be a good housekeeper.” /~/

Chinese Weddings in Indonesia: the Wedding Day

According to expat.or.id: “On the morning of the wedding day, the groom is symbolically dressed by his parents (helping him put his jacket on and his flower on his lapel). Then the groom and his parents would go to the house of the bride. The wedding couple would serve tea to both sets of parents while kneeling down in front of them. This symbolizes paying their respects as well as asking permission of their parents. The bride and groom would then go to the church, together in the same car, for the service. The church service is not really considered that important and only immediate family normally attend. The more important event to attend is the reception. [Source: expat.or.id /~/]

“After the church service, the newlyweds proceed to a professional photo studio and have their picture taken in 20 different poses so they have something to show their children 20 years later. After the photo session, the newlyweds go on to the reception that is usually a standing only event. The reception is run by an MC, usually someone who is hired to do the job and has perhaps met the couple once on a previous occasion to ask them some very informal questions so as he can pretend to know them. The reception begins with a speech of welcome from the MC. /~/

“The speech is followed by cake cutting ceremony. The wedding cake is usually a monstrous size. Normally it is Indonesian wedding cakelapis Surabaya (a layer cake) as the layers symbolize a ladder that you can climb up to success. It is also for this reason that some couples will cut the cake from the bottom layer and work their way upwards rather than starting at the top and working their way to the bottom! The cutting of the cake is usually the only event at the reception. The bride and groom cut the cake together and then feed the cake to each other with entwined arms, trying not to destroy the bride's elaborate makeup in the process. Then a piece of the cake would also be cut for each of the parents and grandparents and they too would be fed by the bride and groom holding the cake together. /~/

“After the cake cutting, and sometimes a toast, the guests are invited to shake hands with the newlyweds and their parents on the stage. In all weddings there is some musical entertainment as the attendees line up to shake hands. This could be as simple as a man with a keyboard up to the Jakarta Symphony or Twilite Orchestra. You would also shake hands again when you are going to leave. /~/

“At more elaborate ethnic Chinese weddings, there could be a sit-down wedding reception. If this is the case, expect an elaborate 9 to 10 course meal. It could feature Chinese cuisine only, or be mixed with western dishes as well. There could be a female singer or two, usually from Taiwan. Occasionally, friends or family members will get up from the audience to sing for the wedding couple. The head tables will usually get a bottle of cognac or whiskey. At the weddings of the very wealthy, beer, wine or champagne maybe served to the guests. Most of the ethnic Chinese customs that a decade ago would have been compulsory are being ignored by the younger generation today. Most of the customs that are carried out are done so to satisfy parents.” /~/

Sundanese Wedding Ceremony

According to expat.or.id: “Some common practices from a traditional Sundanese (West Java) wedding ceremony:Welcoming the bridegroom ceremony: 1) The bridegroom is welcomed with the umbul-umbul, a decoration indicating that a wedding ceremony is going on, which is also auspicious for the bridegroom. 2) The welcome is followed by a procession of ladies with candles. They pray to the Almighty seeking His blessing in order that there maybe no hindrances in the ceremony. 3) The showering of flowers by the dancers is symbolic of a fragrant future for the couple. 4) The umbrella held over the couple's heads, apart from serving as a protective symbol, indicates esteem and respect. 5) The mother of the bride gives the bridegroom a garland of flowers indicating his acceptability to the family. 6)The mother of the bride gives the bridegroom a keris, a hidden message to the son-in-law not to be disheartened while toiling for his family. [Source: expat.or.id /~/]

During the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom are seated next to each other with a selendang or veil covering their heads indicating two people but having one mind. The bride and groom bend forward and kiss the knees of their parents, called sungkem, asking for forgiveness and blessing and reassuring them that they will continue to serve their parents. Sawer This ceremony should take place in front of the sawer or gargoyle. The water flowing from the gargoyle indicates the continuous flow of priceless parental love for their children./~/

Karo Batak Wedding

The Karo Batak are one of several Batak peoples whose homelands lie in the highlands of North Sumatra, particularly north and east of Lake Toba.A Karo Batak wedding is a complex, highly symbolic life-cycle ceremony that affirms marriage not only between two individuals but between extended families and clans (marga). [Source: Danielle Surkatty, Kem Chicks' World, September 2001.expat.or.id]

Central to a Karo Batak marriage is the marga system, an extensive network of patrilineal clans that regulates social identity and marriage rules. Ideally, a Karo Batak marries another Batak, but never someone from the same clan. When a non-Batak groom is involved, he may be ritually adopted into a Karo clan through a formal ceremony, thereby gaining a clan identity and the right to marry according to adat. This adoption is not symbolic alone: it creates lasting social obligations and relationships, though inheritance rights are usually excluded.

The main wedding feast, known as kerja si mbelin (“the great work” or big party), is a vibrant public celebration. Guests sit on woven mats rather than chairs, emphasizing equality and communal participation. The bride and groom enter in a long procession with their families, accompanied by ritual gestures symbolizing fertility and prosperity. [Source: Danielle Surkatty, Kem Chicks' World, September 2001.expat.or.id]

A distinctive feature of the ceremony is the landek dance, performed by the couple and their families. Once the bridewealth is formally paid and accepted, the couple is considered married under Batak custom. As the bride and groom dance and sing, relatives and guests may step forward to place money or gifts before them—a modern addition that complements, but does not replace, traditional obligations.

Image Sources:

Text Sources: New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Times of London, Lonely Planet Guides, Library of Congress, Compton’s Encyclopedia, The Guardian, National Geographic, Smithsonian magazine, The New Yorker, Time, Newsweek, Reuters, AP, AFP, Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic Monthly, The Economist, Global Viewpoint (Christian Science Monitor), Foreign Policy, Wikipedia, BBC, CNN, NBC News, Fox News and various books and other publications.

Last updated June 2015