WEDDING CUSTOMS OF ETHNIC GROUPS IN THE PHILIPPINES

DIFFERENT WEDDING CUSTOMS IN THE PHILIPPINES

The traditional Tausug wedding dress includes a batawi, a long-sleeved blouse, usually made of shimmering cloth and embroidered with glittering sequins, and loose trousers of same material and color; The bride also dons a closed circular sash over her one shoulder, trailing down her hips and over her back, which Hadja Abaraham calls “habultiahan”; The Tausug are a Muslim people that live Mindanao and the Sulu Islands

There are more than fifty major tribes and ethnic groups in the Philippines, each with distinct, diverse and independent courtship and wedding customs and traditions. A marital union generally occurs within the same tribe. [Source: kasal.com ^]

Traditional wedding dresses among peoples are woven in a combination of many colors peculiar to the region of the country. In many places a traditional costume, generally brightly colored, is assigned for the use of the bride only. Traditional bride attire among the Ifugao in the uplands and the Muslim Filipinos in Mindanao come in the variety of exotic colors, accented by heirloom beads, feathered headdresses and other wedding finery, depending on the tribe. [Source:Alvina, C. & Sta. Maria, F. 1987. Essays on Philippine Culture, kasal.com ^]

Many wedding have common features. According to somewhat biased and Catholic-based Kasal.com: 1) A wedding takes place shortly after a dowry's negotiation; 2) The brunt of a wedding celebration's expenses usually falls upon the would-be groom's parents; 3) Lavish and ostentatious celebrations always characterize a marital union; 4) The consummation of the sexual act before the wedding ceremony is not subscribed to; 5) The sexual act is consummated on the wedding night

Unusual Philippines Wedding Ceremonies

The final step in this Talaandig-Higaonon indigenous wedding is the ceremonial first meal of the new married couple while being blessed by their elders, 2019, Tulugan, Lantapan, Bukidnon
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The Tagbanwas are considered to be the original natives of Palawan. The patent elaborateness of their wedding celebrations owes to its feature of pageantry. Termed alabarka (from the Spanish and Calamian cockney which means "ship-wise"), it depicts "a veritable invasion from the sea." It somehow commemorates their early pirate days when their wedlocks were forced and involuntary. The braves from the other islands, using a small sailing fleet known as balangay, would just swoop down upon their helpless island and covet their marriageable women. This aspect has been adopted in their traditions to give color, romance and pageantry to their wedding rites. [Source: kasal.com ^]

Leyteño weddings were characterized by two celebrations. The first, henbabayehan is in honor of the bride. It precedes the bridegroom's party. The expenses for it are borne by the bride's parents. The bridegroom is never represented here by anybody, not even by proxy, as nobody from his family is invited as per tradition. The bride's relatives and friends constitute the guests. ^

The bridegroom's not being represented, however, seems to be only theoretical, for undercover men are actually sent there by the bridegroom's parents, not so much as to participate in the feasting but to spy on the food and entertainment fare so that the same may not be repeated in the henlalakehon, or the bridegroom's party, which must have a completely different but better fare. ^

Cebuan Wedding Customs

Cebuans have traditionally attended a big party at the bride’s house before the wedding day. The groom’s’ family pays for it and it often goes on through the night. The bride usually wears a white satin wedding gown and carries a bouquet of white flowers, usually butterfly orchids. The groom wears a white “barong-tagalog camisa”. Elaborate weddings of the wealthy feature music by a choir, bells and aisles decorated with candles and flowers.

In the wedding ceremony, rings are exchanged and, as is the Spanish custom, there is a coins ceremony in which the groom places silver or gold coins in the cupped hands of the bride. In the Laso ceremony, after the priest reads a nuptial mass he places a veil on the bride’s head and the groom’s shoulders and chord of silk or flowers is strung around their necks

The newlyweds are greeted with banners and branches of coconut palms and pillars made from banana plants and when they exit the church and ride away in a decorated car. The traditional transferring of the bride to the bridegroom’s house is often accompanied by costumed dancing to live music.

The thing that really makes traditional Cebuan marriage a breed distinct and apart from all other majority ethnic group practices is the so called Balusay and Luka-Ay, or "marriage by pair." The first is usually a marriage between a brother and sister tandem of one family and a brother and sister team of another family, while the second is one between two brothers of one family and two sisters of another family. [Source: kasal.com ^]

Ilocano Wedding Customs

Among the Ilocano an unmarried man is looked upon with great pity. Traditionally, marriages have been arranged by parents with the emphasis on being of high status and being a harder worker placed over good looks. Meetings are held between the families of the groom and bride and the prospective groom does some house chores at the girl’s home to prove he is sincere. These days love matches are the norm and boys have traditionally wooed girls by serenading them, often around harvest time. The girls is supposed to play hard to get even if she likes a boy to test his sincerity and desire. If a couple gets engaged snail shells and dried hua-hungya leaves are hung to make sure the couple doesn’t rush to have sex before the get married,

Wedding ceremonies are usually held in a church and are presided over by a priest. The couple closes their eyes when the rings are placed on their fingers to symbolize their desire to overcome the hard times of married life and the groom steps on the feet of the bride to show he will be boss. A veil is placed over the bride and groom while the groom presses the bride’s hand, signifying harmony.

As the couple leaves the church often a “bolo” dance is performed. Before the wedding feast the couple are showered with rice to ensure prosperity and welcomed by parents of many children to ensure they too will have many children. Often the wedded couple has their hair combed to symbolize a smooth marriage. Inside the bride’s house the couple kneels and prays before the family alter and the groom’s family gives a cash gift to the bride’s family. After the couple welcomes guests and kisses the bride’s mother, the bride changes into ordinary clothes and the feasting begins.

A young man’s love is sometimes broached in a song, as in the so-called Tapat of the Ilocanos, which is simply serenading. A more elaborate or romantic form of this type of courtship is also of Ilocano vintage and it is generally practiced in Rosario, La Union, a place better known as "the gateway to Ilocandia." The custom is locally known as suayan, and it is simply a kind of balagtasan-in-song. In other words, its mechanics follows. A young man unburdens his feelings and passion in song and his lady love also answers in song. The young man again counters with another song and his heartthrob gives her reply in a different song. This process goes on for as long as they don't arrive at an understanding. When they do, then its certain that church bell will soon toll for them. [Source: kasal.com ^]

In olden times in the province of Ilocos, one of their modes courtship was the so called "rooster courtship" which involved a rooster. An old man with a rooster was delegated to serve as go-between. The procedure consisted of his visiting the prospective bride's house with a rooster in tow. To probe into the purpose of the visit, the prospective bride's father inquired from the visitor what he was going to do with the rooster. Whereupon, the old man answers: "I want to make it crow here, if you please." Then he was asked again about the pedigree of the rooster, whether it was domestic or wild. "Domestic" as an answer signified "one of us,' or a prospective bridegroom belonging to the place, while "wild" denoted something foreign or not coming from the same place; one that belongs to a different ethnic group like Pampango, Pangasinese, Bicolano, Ilongo, Cebuano, Batangueno, Chavacano or any other. An elaboration of this lead to the identity of the prospective bridegroom. Tradition requireed the old man to leave a rooster with the prospective bride's father if the match was encouraged. ^

Manobo Wedding

In Filipino culture, elders play significant roles in marriages or weddings. From the choice of venue and date to the list of sponsors, the opinions of elders are almost always given due importance. In some cultures, even the choice of partners lie on the choices of the elders. With the Manobos, for instance, the elders in the groom’s family decide whether a bride is acceptable. A proposal is then sent to the paternal uncle for the marriage. The bride-to-be’s family then asks for the bride wealth, which could be paid with money, land, animals, or precious stones. If an agreement is reached, the wedding ceremony is formally started. [Source: kasal.com ^]

The groom’s datu or spokesperson offers a kagun composed of a plate, a threaded needle, string of beads and a peso coin, to the bride’s datu. He also offers a delundun or any property of value. It is here that the two datus set a date for the wedding. After the date has been set, the bride’s family must send a chicken to the groom, the blood of the chicken will be used in anointing the groom and his relatives to prevent misfortune and to assist them in gathering the required bride wealth. For their part, the bride’s family prepares the apa, or food for the wedding feast. The apa is only fed to the prospective in-laws. ^

On the day of the wedding, the groom’s party goes to the bride’s house. The groom’s datu meets with his counterpart to announce their arrival. The latter will hen announce the arrival and signal the groom’s party to enter the house. But before entering, they must grant or bargain with the ed-ipal’s wishes. An ed-ipal could be anyone from the bride’s family. During this time, the bride is made to hide behind a curtain with someone watching her so she can’t come out. The groom and his companions are then fed. The parents and datus of the couple can only eat after the ceremonial exchange of food or seru. The bride’s party are fed next, entirely from a different menu. ^

The two datus must now negotiate for the bride wealth. The bride’s datu lays out rirey of the value placed on the bride. Then he also sets out the ibatu, or what the bride’s father had paid to her mother. Then he asks the groom’s family for the bata, one or five centavo coins given to the elders, and also to the spirits. Then he asks for the lihilihi, porcelain plates given to the girl to prevent omen. The boy’s family will also be asked for the purangan (value of endless nights the bride’s parents endured rearing their daughter), tugenan (value of the nourishment they provide to their daughter) and the pemuka (sum of eight pesos). ^

The rirey or bride’s value will be always not paid in full even if the groom can afford it. This is because the groom is expected to serve the bride and her family whenever they need help. In the event that she is maltreated by her husband, the wife can likewise demand for the amount left unpaid. After the bride's wealth has been negotiated, it is time for the groom’s family to give the tenges or headcloth to the bride’s family. This is followed by the seru, a ritual exchange of food among immediate family members and the two datus. The two datus form rice balls that will be given to the couple to eat. The bride’s mother then prepare a betel chew which she hands down to her daughter who gives it to her husband. Towards the end of the ceremony, the couple will be led the sleeping area where they will be advised by their elders. ^

Except for the parents, the groom’s party may go back to their home after the wedding rites. The parents of the groom are expected to wait for three days, during which they offer sacrifices to purify the newlyweds. This is done to avoid offending the souls of the couple. After the offering has been made, the groom’s parent leave for their home. The groom follows ‘to call his soul back’. Here, he is purified with blood whenever he arrives in his old home. He must also bring back one article of clothing for every day he spent in his old home. This marks the culmination of a Manobo wedding. ^

Bontoc Wedding

The Bontoc wedding ritual usually spans several days. It starts with the delivery of the faratong (black beans) from the girl to the bachelor signifying the bride’s intentions to marry. Afterwards, the bride’s family sends out what is known as the khakhu (salted pork) to the groom’s family. This is countered by the sending of sapa (glutinous rice). These food items are distributed to their respective family members, including their relatives. An important rite called insukatan nan makan (exchange of food) follows. Here, one of the groom’s parents, after receiving an invitation, must go to the bride’s house and have breakfast with them. Later, the groom’s parents also invite a bride’s parent for a similar meal. The next step is the farey. The bride and a kaulog (girlfriend) will visit the house of the groom. This is when they ‘start entering each other’s houses’. They will have to leave immediately also, but they will be invited again on the following morning for breakfast. This is the start of the tongor (to align). [Source: kasal.com ^]

The next day, the bride’s parents, bearing rice and salted meat, will go to the groom’s house for the kamat (to sew tight). A kaulug of the bride and the groom’s best friend is likewise invited. The evening will be the start of the karang or the main marriage ritual. This is when the bride and groom are finally declared as a couple to the whole community. The following morning is the putut (to half). Here, only the immediate relatives are invited for breakfast, signifying theend of the ritual. Two days after the putut, the couple can finally live as husband and wife, but may not sleep together for the next five days, known as the atufang period. The atufang serves to validate the marriage. The groom is instructed to bathe in a spring, taking note of every detail that comes his way, such as the characters he meets, weather changes, among others. Should anything peculiar occur, he must make his way to the mountain to cut some wood. The bride, on the other hand, is sent off to weed in the fields. ^

Any untoward incidents serve as warnings that the new couple must postpone their living together or mangmang. The final stage of the atufang involves covering smoldering charcoals with rice husks overnight. The marriage is considered null and void if the fire goes out the morning after. The final step is the manmanok where the bride’s parents invite the groom and his parents and declare that the groom could officially sleep with the bride. This signifies the end of the marriage ritual for most Igorots. An optional lopis (a bigger marriage feast) could be done should the couple’s finances allow. ^

Bayas: A Wedding Feast in Sagada

The Bayas are the public wedding feasts, which are periodically performed in Sagada. They are normally held two or three times a year — in December and May, and also after the July rice harvest, if desirable. The old men who represent the various dap-ay set the date. Bayas may either be held as an initial marriage feast or be performed by a couple long married to bring good luck and many children. They are performed by both rich and poor but require a minimum of two pigs. [Source: kasal.com ^]

For the Bayas ceremony, relatives in neighboring villages are invited by special messengers. People ask distant relatives as far as they can remember, and even the ka-ising of these relatives. In 1950, for example, when six couples from Dagdag, Demang, and Patay performed the Bayas in May, relatives came from Bauco, Bagnen, Fidelisan, Tetep-an, Amtadao, and the closer barrios, bringing food and other presents for the households celebrating marriage feasts. After the Bayas ceremony has been performed, the couple are bomayas or bommey and live "separate" from their parents in their own house, with their own property and adult responsibilities. ^

The basic myth for the Bayas ceremony is found in the account of how Lumawig taught the wedding rites. Many of the events are found in the Bontoc Lumawig cycle, but they are adapted to the Sagada situation. ^

Yakan Honeymoon Rituals

The Yakans of Basilan Island observe interesting rituals during the honeymoon period. In the afternoon, just before the first night the new couple spend together, each of them will be given a separate bath, so the children will not only be born clean but also stay clean throughout life. In their first sexual intercourse, the girl makes sure that she is accepted as a wife and not as a harlot by asking questions about her status. The groom has to answer adequately that she is his wife. [Source: kasal.com ^]

Just before the sexual act, the boy should first step on the right foot as heavily as he can. This symbolizes strength. The first hand to touch his wife should be the right one, for strength and long life. The first kiss should be planted on the forehead for oneness of mind, with eyes opened so that his children will not be born blind. He should breathe lightly so that later in life he will have fewer problems.^

The girl wants to be assured that her marriage is accepted spiritually and that she will be his wife even after life. For this reason, the bedding items have to be sanctified and be named in a liturgical language. Permission is also granted to the groom to own the body of his wife and also name her anatomical parts in liturgical speech. ^

Any sexual intercourse that is not done according to the natural way is considered abominable in the eyes of the Yakan and will bring punishment from God on the culprit and his family. groom is taken to the river to get a bath. The groom is taken to the river to get a bath, just before the wedding ceremony starts. ^

Tausug Wedding Food

Food habits vary from one cultural group to another. These are the products of their environment as well as historical experiences. These food habits become meaningful to them and are carefully held and difficult to change. Because each culture differs from the others, people see and understand things in different ways. Anyone, therefore, who plans to change or modify a food habit must first understand the cultural orientation and perception of the people. [Source: kasal.com ^]

In Tausug culture, several rituals are followed before the wedding day. There are four stages in a Tausug marriage. The Pagpasihil is the process of "probing" whether the boy is acceptable to the family and relatives of the girl. The nest stage is the Pag-pangasawa or asking for the hand in marriage. Having been accepted formally, the next stage is Pag-turul taimah, which means to follow the acceptance. The last stage is the Pag-Tiaun or the formal wedding. ^

The wedding feast is prepared on the eve of the wedding. The quantity prepared depends upon the number of guests expected. The more affluent parents slaughter two or more cows and cook several sacks of rice for the occasion. The tiula itim (black soup) is a favorite dish and is prepared in large quantities in a cawa (vat) or big pot. Rice is cooked in a big cooking pot or in empty kerosene cans. Native cakes are prepared some days before the wedding day. Food served on this day is similar to the food served during the pag-turul taimah, such as kurma, sati, kari-kari, piassak, tiulah, sambal, and tiulah itum. Prepared viands are placed in a room where some women are signed to facilitate the allocating and serving of food on the trays. The native cakes served with coffee before lunch are bulha (small cakes of different shapes and designs), hantak or kukus (small fried cakes in various shapes) and bang-bang paklud (banana fritters and the like). The feast is served on long tables arranged in the panggong (temporary shed) constructed adjacent to the house for the occasion. ^

Samal Wedding

The Samals, also known as the Sama Dila-ut, used to be sea-nomads in the past times. They are now mostly settled in stilted houses in offshore villages. Some of their traditional courtship and marriage practices live on. [Source: kasal.com ^]

The Samals taboo against incestuous marriage is called the da boheg (of one semen). Both otherwise they tolerate marriages between close relatives. The closest they allow kin-marriages are offsprings of sisters and/or brothers as well as those of a brother and a sister. In other words, first cousin. They consider this already as saddi boheg (of different semen). A girl in considered ready to marry after her first menstruation. Any desire on her part, to enter the marriage status is signified by the fitting of a gold tooth on her upper denture. And to enhance her worth, she is dressed in sarongs and other colorful native costumes.

Pamamanhikan of the South

Michelle Eve A. de Guzman wrote in kasal.com: Compared to the more commonly known pamamanhikan, the Visayan version called pamalaye adds poetry. Suppose eighty years ago, a certain Remedios fell in love with an Arsenio, and the latter wanted to propose to the girl. In accordance with the traditional pamalaye, Arsenio did a sondalisa (from the Spanish sondar or to sound out) to check if there was a chance Remedios’ parents might consent to a marital union. He sent a note through a messenger to her parents begging leave to visit at around 6pm on a Wednesday. Remedios’ parents liked the idea so they did not answer—after the third day of the note delivery, silence from them meant it was alright. [Source: Michelle Eve A. de Guzman, April 1, 2008, kasal.com ~]

“On a Wednesday, Arsenio went with his parents, relatives and friends to Remedios’ house, carrying pots of rice, viands and tuba, which they left under the girl’s house upon arrival. They did not want to show it to their hosts just yet. Neighbors heard the news and watched from a distance. The doors and windows of the house were closed for the occasion. And no one moved, until the spokesman for the boy’s family asked for permission to come inside: Uroy, tagbalay, makadayon ba; ning ang-ang makatikang ba? (Graceful hosts, may we ascend; on your staircase may we step?) Ani-a kami ing silong nagtindog ning ugmaran mo (We are here, standing on our feet; a humble audience do we seek.) Arang ba kayha kami pasak-on sa tambongan patigsampongon? (Will you deign to accept our greeting, and bid us to enter your dwelling?) ~

Now, Arsenio’s spokesman was the mayor, a family friend and their chosen go-between who could represent him and his parents. After all, Remedios’ parents could accept or reject him based on his spokesperson’s prominence, wit and tact. The mayor was the mamamae (the one who proposes) and the dakong tawo (great man) who would negotiate the stipulations, arrangements and conditions of their marriage should it be so.

After all, Remedios’ parents could accept or reject him based on his spokesperson’s prominence, wit and tact. Remedios’ family also had their own spokesperson (the pugong or shield for her interests and welfare), their parish priest. The priest, upon hearing the mayor’s plea, acted surprised and responded: Kinsa ba karong nag-aghoy, nag-awhag nang ugmaran ko? (Who is he whose sighs I hear, wailing sounds foreign to my ear?) Dili kayha makasakang dayon, kay ako pang susolingon ug pagaduma-dumahon. (I pray you wait awhile, till your countenance I see, and make sure who you may be.) ~

“After urging the boy’s family inside, the dakong tawo and the pugong engaged in an oral debate about love, the constancy and dignity of woman, man’s faithfulness and marriage. They became more poetic, using flowery words, for as long as four hours. When the mayor mentioned asking for Remedios’ hand, the purpose of the visit, everyone inside and outside the house waited in anticipation. The parish priest, however, cleverly evaded the issue, as Remedios watched from behind her door. Then, the mayor and the boy’s family offered their food and drinks, and after some initial refusal, the other side accepted. Arsenio’s relatives (known as the tindogon) assisted Remedios’ relatives (the lingkoron). … the dakong tawo and the pugong engaged in an oral debate… using flowery words, for as long as four hours. ~

When the mayor asked for an answer from the parish priest, the girl’s pugong conferred with the parents. They said yes to Arsenio’s delight. Had Remedios’ side said no, Arsenio would need to do the pamalaye again until he got it right. Here lies the supposed end of the story that took place eighty years ago. According to Dumaguete-based award-winning poet Cesar Ruiz Aquino, the important role of the spokesperson was traditionally played by a poet, the most eloquent the boy’s family could find. “It’s like a joust between the two families on who could outdo the other,” he said. Over time, however, this poetic element to the pamalaye has waned in actual practice. ~

“Dumaguete City General Services Officer Paulito Honculada shared he had served as a close friend’s spokesperson early this year, and he did not recite poetry. Being his second time as the dakong tawo, he calmed his friend down before entering the girl’s house. But he only asked the girl’s family about the possibility of the two getting married. After the negotiations and the meal, both sides were calling each other “pare” and “mare”. The wedding took place last June 30, 2007. “This still practiced tradition,” he said, “is because we need our families to support us: financially, emotionally.” For him, that was why formally asking the girl’s parents for her hand was important; to get their consent, and consequently, their support. ~

Silliman University Sociology and Anthropology Head Solomon Apla-on concurred with this idea of support when he said, “The family is the best insurance.” Seeking for the girl’s hand in marriage, he said, is symbolic of how when one gets married in the Philippines, one does not only marry the girl or boy; one marries each other’s families, expanding the inter-relatedness of family life. “I wish that the pamalaye will still be practiced in the years to come because it is a beautiful tradition. It is inherent in the Filipino family to want their children to [have happy families as well],” he said. ~

Image Sources: Wikimedia Commons

Text Sources: “Encyclopedia of World Cultures Volume 5: East/Southeast Asia:” edited by Paul Hockings, 1993; “Culture Shock!: Philippines” by Alfredo Roces and Grace Roces, Marshall Cavendish International, 2010; National Geographic, Live Science, Philippines Department of Tourism, New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Smithsonian magazine, Encyclopedia.com, Library of Congress, The Conversation, The New Yorker, Time, BBC, CNN, Reuters, Associated Press, AFP, Lonely Planet Guides, Google AI, Wikipedia, The Guardian and various websites, books and other publications.

Last updated March 2026